A Letter to THAT Girl.

A letter to my decade younger self.

Dear 20 year old Elyse. In approximately 20 some days you will receive a phone call from your mom. Answer this call, because it will be the last time you hear her voice.

Don’t spend your time talking about the trivial things and people you met at a college party the night before. Ask her about who she is as a woman. Ask her what she wants most for you and your sisters? Ask her if she has any regrets? Ask her if she had one wish what it would be? Ask her for the recipe of her chicken/rice casserole (that recipe will die with her).

Keep the conversation going as long as possible. Thank her for being a wonderful mom. Apologize for anything that plagues your conscious. Come up with a mutual signal she can give you beyond the grave to let you know she is still with you.

Interrupt your conversation and have her call your phone back and leave a voicemail- so you never forget the sound of her voice (because in a couple weeks your dad will disconnect her phone and you wont be able to call it repeatedly in the middle of the night just to hear her say her name.)

Then call her back and tell her you love her as many times as you can before your phone battery dies.

20 year old Elyse-your mom dying will be your story from now on. It will be the catalyst that drives you into addiction and unhealthy relationships for the majority of the next decade.

It will be the reason you will run from all that is familiar. It will be the reason your dad remarries and your family gets torn apart. It will be the reason you never let your guard down. It will be the reason you will wake up almost every day hoping to die, because then you can be with her again. It will be the reason you turn from God.

But her death will also be the reason you turn back to Him. It will be the reason you deepen your faith and become a strong, self-reliant woman, the reason you decide to become a writer. The reason you and your sisters have an unbreakable bond. Her death will put you in a position to help others in a large way.

So as Feb. 20th approaches use these valuable lessons from the future to get you by:

1. Engage in meaningful conversations as much as possible. This type of behavior feeds both souls, creates strong bonds and makes for great memories.

2. The right choice is the one that leaves you with the least amount of regret.

3. Everything happens for a reason. A reason that is beyond your understanding. A reason you may never get to see the outcome of. But so far every reason I have gotten to see the outcome of has landed in our favor! Believe and trust in this and you will save yourself a lot of heart and headache over the next decade.

Love, Your older, wiser self

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