Does overconnecting cause stress?

‘Finding your tribe’ has become an Instagram catchphrase, in my feed anyways, which includes many yoga and spiritual teachers. It sounds wonderful to be part of a tribe, but I can’t help wondering: How much of today’s ‘connecting’ has anything to do with real relationships? Is the modern concept of ‘connection’ becoming totally abstract? Is any of this real?!

Many of us feel the weight of keeping up with our emails, text messages, and multiple profiles on social media. It’s easy to forget there was a time, not too long ago, when this pressure didn’t exist. We weren’t expected to send or receive work emails out of office hours. There was no such thing as an instant response!

I’m definitely not against social media, or technology in general. However, I do believe the growing assumption that we need to participate on so many fronts digitally is contributing to a strain on our individual and collective nervous systems.

There’s been a conversation going on for a while about how many of us feel more stressed than ever — pulled in too many different directions — and I believe it’s related to the effect overconnecting is having on our psyches.

According to Psychology Today, meaningful connections actually reduce the kinds of stress that so many of us are feeling overwhelmed by. While there is no set definition for ‘meaningful connection’ I think it’s an important to consider what this means to each of us, in our lives.

One of the things I’ve discovered in my own mindfulness practice, is that the more grounded and centered I am in my own physical body and heart, the more I’m able to connect meaningfully (what I consider meaningfully!) with others. No surprise, this requires a bit of space from what I call overconnecting (i.e. the managing of a social presence online or general pressure to stay connected on many fronts). While I fully admit to dipping into overconnecting from time to time, it hasn’t led me to the type of relationships — or quality of peace — I want in my life.

The topic of human connectedness is close to my heart (it’s the reason I launched Head + Heart!) because I think there’s a lot of confusion out there. For those of us seeking to be more mindful, we need to learn practices that help us as individuals AND we need to access the real, personal, human connections that can support our journeys.

Over the years, I’ve sought out many teachings and practices, but I keep coming back to the following three pieces of wisdom, which consistently show up in many teachings across many traditions.

Take care of and listen to your physical body. It will give you very important information. Eat well, get enough sleep, exercise. Notice what your physical body needs and tells you about your life right now.
Listen to your OWN voice and heart. Create the space you need to tune into your own truth and wisdom. Some call this intuition or living with intention. Don’t live other people’s lives. Know your own heart enough to live your own life.
Be compassionate. No matter what. The kinder you can be to your own dear self, the kinder you’ll be to everyone else. And vice versa.

These three practices are my personal litmus test for connecting meaningfully. If you are seeking guidance for your own journey, there are many great teachers out there available to offer support. Take a look at places like Head + Heart, Meetup, Retreats.com, and even the local bulletin boards at your yoga studio or community center to find what you need. No matter how disconnected or overconnected or stressed out we find ourselves,  we all have within us the wisdom needed to live with balance and peace. Sometimes, we just need to be reminded.

Monica Krake is a Vancouver-based entrepreneur, with a passion for healing, wellness and social justice. She founded Head + Heart, a mindful calendar, as a way to help people discover events and teachers to support their journeys.  Follow Head + Heart on social: Instagram + Facebook.

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