Her inner power: a tribute to all the warrior women.

Three years ago, my life was painfully stagnant and unsettling until I finally gave the little voice inside a true, wholehearted listen. I was in a dead-end relationship that I did not know how to leave and constantly turned to a person who didn’t really have much love left to offer me after nearly four years of being together. I listened to his mom insult me on numerous occasions as he stood by and thought nothing wrong of the situation…and I allowed it. I also lived with several roommates who made all the rules for our apartment—many of them that were unjust and favoring their needs primarily—and I allowed it. I watched many people around me who were seemingly living their best lives on all forms of social media but actually appeared empty and withdrawn in person. Those same persons were the very ones who often tried to belittle others and did not really seem to have a genuine sense of happiness. When I started to seek the larger meaning of my existence, this amazing thing happened where my life completely shifted. After leaving a relationship that no longer served a purpose in my life and moving out of an apartment filled with intensely negative energy, there was space for much more beautiful things to enter. During this period of new beginnings, I turned within while still not knowing where life was taking me but trusting that there were good things coming my way. Meditation and yoga were two life-changing means by which I was able to make this amazing shift, and it was from there that I learned how true happiness and peace come from within. More so, the greatest power I had comes from within; it was simply waiting for me to tap into it. THAT was my awakening.

Everyone is spiritual in his or her own way but the individual who decides to really focus on the inner consciousness is someone we term “awakened.” At first, it appears as though a person who has made this conscious decision to become more faithful to doing the inner work is changing oneself in order to metamorphose into the more evolved being. However, people—particularly women—tend to overlook the fact that they already embody everything they need within them from day one. Women are often foolish to believe that they need to acquire certain traits or become someone else to get to that next level in life, such as by raising her voice among a crowd in order to be heard when she really is an impactful force even in her silence or, in my case, putting up defenses so that people would not offend me. As it turns out, this clearly was not the solution because I was not honoring where I was in that moment nor was I allowing the emotions and feelings to flow through me so that I could heal my wounds.

In 2016, I made a vow to not only acknowledge the parts of me that were a bit more fragile and needed healing but also to embrace those aspects. I let myself cry during meditation when thoughts of my previous relationship arose. I told myself it was okay to be sad on days when I questioned myself and why I allowed certain people to speak to me in a condescending tone in my earlier 20s. I knew I eventually needed to place boundaries so that people would not step all over me but first, I needed to understand why I allowed such events to transpire over and over again. When I began a steady and consistent meditation practice, I was able to travel back in time and see that growing up with many traditional and cultural values, I was raised in a household where women were not always encouraged to speak up but rather to respect others’ words first. As I began to heal this part of my childhood and alter my thinking to understand that this value no longer aligned with the stronger woman I am becoming, I was able to rise above the pain of my past. By choosing to lead a more mindful, centered, and conscious form of living, I was not working to tweak my “bad habits” into good ones but rather uncloaking the veil that covered me for too long so that the innermost, authentic Self could shine through. I was always the girl who spoke in a blunt and matter-of-fact fashion, but now I was sharing that without fear or restriction. THAT was my power.

When it all comes down to its primal essence, the question is whether someone is acting out of love or fear. We were all born through an act of love so when we think back to our most innocent and child-like state, love is what we are programmed to know. Societal expectations, life experiences, and certain misfortunes may have caused us to accrue a sense of lack and fear through trust issues, jealousy, dependency, second-guessing, low self-worth, and all things that were not naturally known to us. Despite being in an era where there are brave feats of depreciated women who are coming forth and taking a fervent stand against sex offenders, unfair circumstances of division in the workplace, and any other deed that has made them feel undervalued, many are still missing the larger idea that is in motion here: this inner beauty of the divine feminine power has been present in us all along but one has to be ready to perceive and tap into that power in order to employ it in its entirety.

My having been defenseless for years when others spewed words of discontent or anger was not because I refused to stand up for myself but rather because I wanted to compassionately listen to what was really hurting this person so much; my shortcoming sprouted when I allowed these people to go one step further and attack me with their words without standing my own ground. On the other hand, the real force came about when I started to believe in myself so extraordinarily that it became a daily habit. In doing so, I was able to speak my authentic truth and do so in a loving and graceful manner. Consequently, I started to attract other women who also saw my inner strength and boldness and sought to uncover that power in their own lives. It took me years to not only learn but to fully embrace the fact that my being emotional and sensitive to others is the vessel through which I am able to develop these very vulnerable, welcoming, and honest connections. I always had this side of me, but it was my first time celebrating it. By taking my armor down, I became much more accepting of the strength that was already deeply rooted within.

This armor was not so easy to disentangle from, however. I found myself shedding layers of fear off through the gift of yoga. For many men and women across the world, yoga and meditation have been popular tools for self-care and growth. Countless research shows the benefit of asanas in helping to build a better posture, creating room for flexibility, and developing great strength. What is so special about yoga is that there is no perfect form; no two asanas will look the same between two individuals simply because of their varying body structures and the fact that they are two different entities. Likewise, this translates to how every woman finds her inner power in her own way in real life. While kindness may be an ordinary attribute for some, it could be the standout quality another woman upholds—hence, the immense power behind the quote “kill them with kindness.”

The truth is that we already are ALL of the things that give us true and incredible power in this world. We have learned to cover up out of shame, fear, or guilt because of what is often expected of us, only faintly realizing that those very things we hide are the gifts that the world so desperately needs at this time. At the end of the day, we are as we are and that is a beautiful idea to acknowledge and hold on to. It is up to us to accept who we are in this moment in our most raw, unrefined form and that is our power. When more women become cognizant of this, they will be shaken up by the amount of power that already lies within them. And from there on out, a generation of even more powerful, resilient women can be birthed and, thus, more miracles brought to life.

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