How will I return home

Once upon a time.., since that’s how all good stories start, there was a girl who had dreams and to achieve them she had to morph. This story is about her realization and acceptance.
In search of a beautiful tomorrow we leave home. In awe of a brighter future, we ruin our present. The dreams, once we used to have now doesn’t let us sleep and the songs that once used to motivate, now haunt us, the sparkling eyes that once could see the future, now are smudged with kajal, the hair that once was adorned with oil are now transformed into silky beautiful locks, the chubby cheeks and an uncontrallable prosperous belly had shrinked to sharp jaw lines and a model like flat stomach. A studious student became busy in uploading instagram pics and snapchats streaks. The Hum (me in local language) changed to Main(me) in just an instant.
The nail paint’s smell that once suffocated her, now beautify her and getting scratched by her own nails became natural. You know long nails are in style.You look really pretty in your long flowing tresses, do not tie them. Even if it makes you uncomfortable, you just have to bear it, because you look beautiful in it. A scarf attracted more attention and mockery than a skirt.
An all girl’s college kid how is she going to survive among the chaos of hormonal people. Funny thing she would talk to a lot of guys and make them fall for her, you need to have a lot of proposals, in requests, in filters, in whatsapp, in messengers and everywhere. You have to brutally break their heart and carry on.
How does this happen? How did she change so much? While leaving home though she had tears in her eyes, she had promised herself that she would return home as a better person. Now she is scared how she would return. Seriously was she, 500 miles (kilometres) away from home. Would her parents recognise her? She herself was unable to recognize the girl in the mirror, who is she? How has she changed so much?
She used to miss her Maa ke hath ka khana (mom’s made food) specially the sevai. She had long lost her weight, her appetite and hence the desire to eat. Food was just numbers, how much calories does it contain. The aroma of the food stalls tries to lure her and pull her towards them but weirdly she had gained a high level of self control. It’s really funny how she would be allured even by the gola, the captivating smell of chat, the saucy smell of noodles, the tangy taste of golgappas, who needs to taste them, she could have already felt it, the fulfilling feeling of the rolls would always satisfy the low marks gained and chaat used to have the ultimate power of solving every problem. Now she had a head full of problems and a heart full of untold emotions. Unfortunately she had learnt a lot of things. she need to undo it. She has to go home. She wants to meet Ma; wear all those loose clothes and scare everyone by how much weight she had gained. She wanted to be free once agan. She knew that her family would recognize her. Papa’s bara baccha (adolescent adult) had come back. There is no need of fitting in.
She realized taking care of herself, grooming, adapting is not bad but doing so because someone said that is wrong. Take care of yourself like your own child. Some days you should fall in love with yourself so groom well. Adaptation is actually needed for survival. Just remember two things have your mental peace and one day you have to return home.

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