Pain.

After gathering courage to fall in love again, I went through a heartbreak again. I was expecting it. The thrill of loving him kinda tempted me to get hurt again.

I journal every night, venting out my feelings; because somethings are too petty to discuss with friends, again…or maybe I’m an overthinker. Anywho, this is what I wrote the day I cried:

Pain has a distinct beauty. It becomes beautiful when you kiss it deeply, like you mean it, and then let it go. It is beautiful unless ofcourse, you decide to hold it tight too long.

Feel pain for just the right amount of time and gives rare fruits of perspective and strength, will and faith.

You feel a sinking, clenching heart in the middle of your chest, you feel an airy, worked up, sweet pain in your throat and you know you’re feeling pain, hurt…love? You hang in the middle of just giving up or just going for it completely. You don’t manage either, ‘completely’; so you keep hang…completely. and you swing with it, dance with it, make love to the confusion. Then you scatter helplessly to the ground. Each piece of you helps you- one fights, one cries, one keeps faith, one curses love, and one stays numb, and one just watched all others. Then they come together and you are ‘made’ again; only to repeat this dance. You are too familiar with it now.

In the distant darkness, you see a few pieces trying to cling on to each other, you see they are not yours. You see one of yours and another that isn’t yours are clinging together….by mistake. There we go again.

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