People May Never Understand Me and That’s Okay

I think that maybe I’ve spent most of my life second- guessing myself. I used to look down at the floor as I spoke, look up, to gauge a response, and immediately apologize if I felt as though I had offended someone’s delicate sensibilities. I would pause, stammer, blush, run away. Always running away.

Anne Lamott once said, ” The most subversive and revolutionary thing that I could do was to show up for my life and not be ashamed.”

I had a long way to go. I will spare you the details of my life. Life beats all of us down. Beneath the layers of my hurt, anger, and resentments, there was the woman that was ready to live her life and love others.

I spent a long time dealing with depression and anxiety. I was diagnosed with a variety of pretty painful health problems last years and spent months in bed. I had a breast cancer scare at the beginning of this year and it was as if a switch was turned on in my head. No one is going to live this life for me. I have to be thankful for everyday. I should get out of bed and love those around me. I need to keep moving.

As for what other people think? That’s really none of my business. I read somewhere that people can only understand you from the level of their perception.

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