The Art of Going Selfish

I recently became selfish.  Not in the refusal to share my treats with loved ones kind of way, but in the no you don’t get all of me kind of way. I suddenly realized that parts of my life were sacred. And that sacredness changed how I share myself and the things that happen in my life. So I am not sharing or going live with my intimate bits and screw how anyone else feels about my selfishness.

Going selfish isn’t just about keeping quiet about our favorite secret donut spot, because that could be over the top. But it’s about allowing ourselves to appreciate joy without other people attaching their energetic judgments in any form of reality. It’s recognizing that there are more sacred moments in life when we allow their value to expand fully. These moments help focus on being fully engaged with our choices in life and become more confident in ourselves. Whether someone supports us or not in the life we’ve chosen starts to become of no consequence to our ability to enjoy that life. But the more we share, the more significant importance we unconsciously attach to outside opinions.

My moment of selfishness started after restarting my life. I knew the choices I was making would be controversial to some and merely insane to others. So to avoid self-doubt, I selfishly kept my decisions to myself. It wasn’t simple or easy to make the decisions I did, but they were mine. And the selfishness spun out of control from there. Before I knew it, I was revealing in my joy and keeping it all to myself.
Something happens when we allow ourselves to focus on our lives in full definition. That change slowly begins to wash over our entire lives. We suddenly find increased confidence in our ability to trust ourselves and the definitiveness of our choices. We know what we want and enjoy, and there is no reason to question our assertions. We begin to allow ourselves to be fully engaged and enthralled with our piece of the universe and we almost forget that we once gave so much away.

The act of becoming selfish takes less sacrifice than we may imagine. It just involves the ability to shut-up sometimes. Keeping our mouths shut may seem simple but how we participate in many aspects of the world, requires carefully cataloging our lives in some form for public consumption. In fact, if no one knows we are happy, are we? We have become expected to prove that we slay and grind so hard so that we are rewarded with a well thought out emoji by our fans. We also have to prove to the haters, whoever they are, that our grind is so successful that it hurts their feelings. But going selfish means how we participate in the world begins to change. Our self-satisfaction self-adjusts into self-appreciation.

It is essential to understand that being selfish, in this way doesn’t mean we cut our support system from our life. It’s not about getting rid of the people who participate in life with us. But it allows us to focus on them and appreciate what it is they bring to our lives. In more instances than not, we share our joy in real time with those closest to us. What going selfish does is gives us them and them us in all arrays of the moments we share. And we go selfish together. It brings presence and intention to our relationships. We make ourselves fully available for those who go through this life by our side.

Often when we are giving our lives away, it is because we believe that everyone will see the beauty or feel what we feel in that moment. But the moment changes as soon as we try to capture it outside of our realization. The high-def experience of real life just can’t be transferred.

So instead go selfish into life, looking deeply into the eyes of those we love. Breathe in every moment and let them redefine our existence.

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