The Downside of Sharing

The Downside of Sharing

Sharing has become promiscuous these days, so much so that it now a “coined” expression. The pervasiveness and ease of sharing can lead to carelessness, allowing what may have been better kept private into the public domain. Many of our experiences are meant for us, each one of us individually, because the experience has meaning within the context of our own lives, and outside of that context, it may be a curiosity, at best.

Recognizing when it is worthwhile to share, and when it is not, will assure a better readership when we do share, even though we share less. Often keeping our thoughts out of the public domain will help us to engage more constructively with thoughts, ideas, and perceptions meaningful to us, but maybe not so much to others. There is a saying, “when the thought is out, it belongs to another,” and this is true. The beauty of a sunset is never going to look the same on social media, so rather than reach for the phone, would it not be better to curl our toes in the sand and take a few minutes to let it paint the canvas of our mind?

The “impulse” to share is almost always a good indicator that we are not “getting it,” regardless of what “it” may be. Impulses and intuitions are very different, yet impulses are often elevated to intuition’s status. I cannot help but wonder if time is taken to ask oneself before sharing, “is this going to be something scrolled through, or engaged in?” I know I scroll through about ninety-percent of the posts I see shared. And, perhaps half of those that engage me are for all the wrong reasons, posts that I feel the author is depriving herself of the quiet time she needs to take in herself, what she is now trying to share with others.

In general, I find sharing an important avenue for gaining clarity on personal issues whose solution is eluding me or gaining a useful perspective that escapes me. I often share on these occasions, as I find others may easily see what is difficult for me to see, but I don’t feel a public domain appropriate during these times, but rather a private one, amongst friends and family who know me well and the context I am coming from. I certainly don’t want my innermost challenges to be scrolled through, or worse yet, knee-jerk responses.

We should never share just because we can. Before communication was what it is today, people might have to go through great hardship and expense to share. Would we walk a mile to tell a friend about the garnishes on the delicious sandwich we just ate, whose photo we pasted across our fb home page? Probably not. Technology enables and enslaves; it is something to be harnessed, but not be harnessed to. The temptation to reach for our phone should generally be resisted until we really see value in what we wish to communicate, and if we don’t, OK, we just saved someone scrolling through our would-be post.

Communication is the most precious thing we have. And care should be taken that it retains its value. Carelessly expressing ourselves through sharing will not be appreciated by our audience, who value their time and appreciate meaningful communication. If my cousin tells me his aunt passed away last night, I will share his loss, but, if a stranger does, it begs for sympathy I don’t feel, and that a more discriminating sensitivity is in order.

Most of the posts shared by friends and others I often find amazing, but scratch my head wondering what it has to do with me. If a girl can ride backward on a bicycle through Central Park, straddling sideways between her seat and handlebars, no doubt it is awesome, to an acrobat, but what is it but a distraction to me (awesome though it may be)? This post, and many like it, are in my scroll-though category. I just don’t have time for them. Perhaps I am jaded?

A friend posted a picture of her son and his first newborn cuddling on a couch early one morning. It was a beautiful and touching picture to me, and she wisely shared it with “friends” who have known her son and watched him grow up. This post warmed my heart, and brought a smile on my face, as I am sure it did others in her receptive audience. Being selective in one’s sharing is being respectful of others’ time.

Often, I see posts of photos that beg the question “where is this,” “who is this,” “what is this,” and so forth. One of my pet peeves is people who are so anxious to post photos yet can’t take the time to write a few descriptive words about them. Really inconsiderate!

This morning I wanted to share some of my thoughts on sharing and hope that some of my readers who have scrolled down (ha ha) this far have found it a worthwhile read.

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