The Firmament

There were decisions to make, actions to take, feelings to feel,  and thoughts to think. Was that it? No, it wasn’t and isn’t. There’s a deeper dimension to our being. There’s a background, the vast stretch of infinite energy that is being focused-threaded through the needle point of our minds and into that which we call reality, a momentary energy formation translated by our senses which themselves are concepts and aren’t really here.

He felt it, the force, the energy, the darkness of the opposite that spread itself over him, negating the positive, darkening the light. It was here to help him strengthen his resolution or to destroy his perspective, decisions, and himself. It cut deep into the heart, telling him that everything that he had been doing, feeling, and believing in was bullshit, an illusion, a wish, a fairy tale, that his love was worth nothing, that it was not true. He went down to his knees, touched his forehead down to the ground. He could see through his forehead into the infinite, into God, he exhaled, he gave in and gave up. He let the fear that he was holding tamed, fill him in, from inside out entering every cell of his body, every vibratory string of his being. He no longer wanted to fight, but to understand. He made himself get up and went back to the line formation of men and began to sing, through pain, through fear and resistance, he opened his mouth and his voice carried it all out into the open. It hurt to sing, it hurt to dance, it, fuck, it hurt to be. He found it to be strange to be able to enter these higher dimensions, to have this knowledge and still be so human, he found it strange, but he also found it beautiful that a human could be on both sides, to be God and also be the creation, to be the guide and at the same time to be guided, to be the hero and at the same time his most dangerous rival. And then he understood that one needed the other. Their eyes met, through the darkness of their pupils they knew they were looking at God and God was looking back.

He entered the firmament…

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