The Shadow side of #MeToo and Publicly Outing Perpetrators.

I know, I know. You’re getting your energetic tomatoes ready to throw at me…

Deep Breath.

Firstly, this post is not intended to deny, silence or shame sexual abuse survivors.

FUCK NO.

Please keep speaking, being seen, and asking to be witnessed in y(our) painful, honest and recovering truth, with all your human feelings and your intention to help stop the rape consciousness that permeates our world.

What this post is about is shining a light on the “other side”, knowing all sides are indeed the same coin.

What I do to you I do to me.

There are a two parts to it that I want to attempt to begin to address with compassion, integrity and the hope for deeper healing for all.

I don’t have the answers. But I do know the Answer Is Love.

You may or may not get that in the deepest, eternal, unconditional sense that I mean it. It may just sound like a spiritual bypass concept to you.

Anyway, that is not for me to try to get you to get.

God knows if I’ll ever have the profound ability to articulate that in a way that actually does it the justice that Love deserves.

I’ll just say it again plainly.

The Answer is LOVE.

So, with that;

1) How can we address the drastic need for REHABILITATION in our society?

Knowing Abusers/Perpetrators are Human Beings who were abused/raped/tortured/taught by society to be that-

They are the victims who did not recover or become these brave survivors who are standing to say #MeToo, but instead, imploded and exploded attempting to gain their own power back by becoming the Perpetrator.

Rehabilitation is such a deep concept that we fundamentally, globally need to address.

We have a society that prefers to throw away, discard, ignore, medicate, lock up, fix and even drop a bomb on — instead of addressing the deep core need for Healing on all levels that Humanity needs.

How can we ever think we can end the cycle of Abuse, War and Rape if we do not look into the eyes of the Perpetrator and see a broken, brain-washed and bleeding heart?

What do we all propose, we just continue to lock them all up and throw away the key?

Their own deep seeded trauma DOES NOT excuse what they did, they do not need our pity, but they do need our Humanity — this may be the only way to reach theirs.

How do we honor the Survivor who came forward — give them the benefit of the doubt and simply believe them — AND also provide a platform for both sides to be heard, teach the accused to acknowledge, take full responsibility for their impact and ask for forgiveness?

The Justice system, the prison system and the Mental Health system is not providing that.

So, how can we, as Sovereign people provide that?

I have a feeling it starts with being with the beating bloody thing in our own chests.

❤

Secondly,

How do we also bring light to the Wounded Feminine, the Victim Archetype, the one who is carrying repressed Grief in the form of Rage and Revenge?

I know that side of the Wounded Feminine deeply.

That energy that will tear down another, slander them in public no matter the projections that may blur the facts and refuses to have any mercy on their soul.

This is where I feel the energetic tomatoes coming at me.

And I truly truly truly write this with as much tender care as I can muster.

And, this DOES NOT blanket all rape, abuse and trauma cases — of course not. It CANNOT.

If you know in your cells what happened to you happened (and no you do have to have the memory all in tact to KNOW) — then please, do not hear this as me vilifying your experience or your tremendous courage to come forward. Or even your absolute justified Rage.

I am speaking to something much more subtle, and if you have that in you, let me just speak to that part of you now…

The part of you (of me) that will blindly, in black rage, jump into the role of vilifying him —

When he smiled at you,

When he spanked your bum without asking,

When he catcalled at you in the street,

When he remarked at how you look,

When he did not call you back after the sex that you silently didn’t really want but you traded for, for a fleeting sense of comfort, validation and something that felt like love…

That part of you that really longed for him to see you, not just your body but your soul and when he seemed to miss you.. you felt the rage of every other man before him that missed your heart too…

That part of you that really just needed an ally, a brother, a father… but you settled for what you’ve both been taught and opened your legs instead…

That part of you that feels rejected, not enough and abandoned by the Masculine which really feels like a gaping hole inside your chest and solid stone in your solar plexus…

That part of you (me) that feels so betrayed when you set your boundary of what you need, expecting, hoping he is your friend enough to get past his cultural programming of entitlement and own Mommy rejection wounds and celebrate you speaking your truth to heal your little girl..

That part of you that in your deep pain of feeling abandoned, betrayed and objectified again, you publicly slander him instead of filling yourself up with all the courage and say to him with a soft open heart.. “When you do X, I feel unseen, objectified and hurt by you. Please Brother, I love you, don’t do that to us anymore.”

That part of you that continues to project your pain onto Him, no matter if he resembles your abuser/rapist/absent father/or the Patriarchy or not..

He could be an Angel in Human form and you miss seeing him because you only see through the lens of your Wound.

And, yes even the Angels in Human form are fallible because they had to become Human to fully understand and choose compassion.

Yes, even the “good men” have been implanted with the Programming to Dominate and Manipulate.

But they are here and they are doing their healing, just like us.

You know that part…

That part of you, of me, that seeks REVENGE at all costs.

That is the part that we must bring to the table to be CLAIMED, HEALED and INTEGRATED.

Because, while worldly justice can bring healing and some hope that it will save someone else from being our Perpetrators prey…

It will never do the work of reclaiming and stitching all of the pieces of our fragmented Soul back together.

Not in us and not in our world.

And…

All I know is..

the Answer Is Love.

And, yes we have some real shit to work out that is not going to resolve itself overnight.

We need to address some deep SHADOWS in ourselves, on all sides of the coin.

We need to stop pointing the finger and playing the blame game and we need to RADICALLY TRANSFORM our Trauma into Triumph.

We need to address the Wounded Feminine without invalidating the little girl or the part of us who was mistreated or had our Sovereign Human Right to Consent taken from us.

We need to expose the Prison, Mental Health, and Political systems that are currently in place to make a ton of money for the Elite while neglecting Humanities Hearts.

There is a lot to be done.

We need to REMEMBER the only way to create a new world is TOGETHER.

The only way is through, and the Doorway is our Hearts.

Aching, breaking and bare for all to see in our fallacy.

What I want to know is, are you willing and ALL IN to rehabilitate our world with LOVE?

If so, it starts with rehabilitating you.

And your Brothers, and your Sisters.

But, let’s just start with you.

And I will start with me.

❤

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