The Slide; Childhood Perceptions

THE SLIDE; CHILDHOOD PERCEPTIONS

Incidents from our childhood have a way of penetrating deep into our self-perceptions. They can determine the way we see ourselves, who we are, what our personality traits are and how we fit into society. I saw myself as a weakling, a coward, and a scaredy-cat, afraid to do what other kids did willingly and enthusiastically.

For instance, there was a gigantic and very steep slide on top of a hill in a local park. Other kids clamored up the hill to take a ride down that slide. The one and only time I managed to climb the ladder to the top, I took one look down that slide and decided that there was no way I could do it. It was too high. It was too steep. I turned around and said to the multitude of excited kids in line on the long ladder behind me, “I have to get down.” The kids called me a ‘baby’, but reluctantly they backed down the ladder and freed me from what I saw as certain death. When I was back on solid ground, the humiliation I felt was not even close to the feeling of relief.

My travels through adulthood forced me into situations that taught me I was no coward. As life threw curve balls at me, I managed to knock them out of the park. However, the feelings of cowardice with which I still struggle, linger inside me.

And then, some sixty years later, something odd happened. Someone on Facebook posted an old photo of that same slide in the local park of my hometown. Yikes! Many of my childhood friends responded to the FB photo with comments like, “My brother broke his collar bone on that slide.” I broke my arm on that!” My cousin broke his ankle on that slide.” As it turns out, I was not a coward. I was cautiously sensible. I knew when to take risks and when to back away from a dangerous situation. I shared all of this with my sister and her response as, “I can’t believe you had the courage to ask all those kids to back down the ladder.” It’s all about perception.

Our internal lives are about our perceptions. And it is especially about those perceptions that we form in childhood. Today, as I look at the photo of that slide, I marvel that I was able to face all the massiveslides that occurred in my life. And I didn’t back down the ladder.

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