When You Stop Struggling, You Float.

Your drowning under it all!  The pain, the confusion, the unease. The endless choices, that all appear to break your heart. I see your pain. I have felt pain. I see your fear. I have felt fear. Those choices, I have had to make them. I know what it is like to wake up and struggle to make it through the day. I know what it feels like to walk around with a broken heart. I also know that you think you have to struggle because I thought I had to struggle too. When faced with life’s choices we seem to believe that there is some glory in the struggle.  I also know there is a kind of power and control you feel when you are in the midst of struggle, but that power and control is just an illusion. You know I am right because you can feel the truth of it when you sit still. But what if there is a different way? What if you didn’t have to struggle so hard?

What if you just let it go?

I can hear you screaming at your computer, take a breath, and read me out. I have no idea what your current struggle is. I know that each of us carries burdens that would scare those around us. I know that you feel alone but I promise you there is someone, somewhere who is experiencing the same thing you are. There is also someone who is on the other side of your burdens and they feel hope for the first time in a long time and you will be there someday too.  Believe me, I have carried enough secrets, pain, and darkness to tell you, I see you and I understand. I understand that there are times where there are no words to help us get over the hump. The more I endure, the more I see, the more I feel, and the more I move into a place of acceptance I begin to wonder did it really have to be so hard? Or have I made it harder on myself for carrying the unbearable, keeping the secrets, making it nice, and hiding the darkness I felt in my soul?

When I started moving towards acceptance without the struggle, I tried to remember the freedom I felt in my childhood.  When I was growing up, I spent my summers basking in the California sun usually at our community pool or at my grandparent’s spa. I LOVED WATER!  I learned really early on that the worse thing I could do when I got too far into the deep end, was to panic and move around. The more I panicked, the more I moved, the deeper I sunk, and the harder it got to get back up to the top and breathe. If I would just breathe and relax, I would float up to the top of the water and eventually find myself floating next to the wall.  Struggle is what would lead me deeper into the water. When I stopped struggling, I was able to float.

Do not be confused, a lack of struggle does not mean you are a doormat! It does not mean you are weak or passive! There is a time to grab a sword and go to war but that is purpose driven, that is not the same as struggling. I am a sword shielding badass warrior but now I do it 90% of the time with no struggle. 10% of the time I am completely lost in my own head and usually require another badass warrior to give me a kick in the ass. So, letting go of the struggle doesn’t mean you are a wimp or not able to go into battle, it just means you do it purposefully and without the struggle. Your mind is clear and your heart solid.

This is all fairly new to me, after decades of struggling, I decided to stop. It was really that simple I just stopped. I stopped struggling and started living from a place of acceptance. I decided that I would implement my love of the water and the lessons it taught me into my land life. IT WORKED! All of the things I had struggled with started to dissolve. It was simply a matter of making the choice. The choice to stop fighting with what was and instead just float in what is.

It is beautiful! It is messy! It is painful! It is joyful! It is everything and nothing.

Floating requires trust. It requires you to combine your heart, head, and gut. No, it is not just a once and your done deal. You have to make the choice that you are going to stop the struggle and the drama. We are creatures of habit, you will find your mind will go to struggle but that is when you take a deep breath and say No, Not Today.

Today this is what is true. What do I need to do at this moment?  If it is a hard thing, you do the hard thing. If it is a joyful thing you do that joyful thing. At that moment, do what needs to be done and float. Trust that in every moment you will be able to do whatever it is you need to do, without the struggle.

When You Stop Struggling,

You Float

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