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close the door through which you came
there is no cure for this pain
nothing will ever be the same
broken hearts broken dreams
nothing real is as it seems
isn’t there an in-between?
climbing constant
out of rope
out of trust out of hope
day by day I long to change
accepting peace seems so strange
I forget to live
I dare to believe
why won’t you stop?
I cannot breathe!
beat me down until I weep
my mind & body aren’t yours to keep!
I lie to those who love me most
my former self a helpless ghost
pushing shoving my throat closing
the pain growing
I cling to you not knowing
which way I’m going
which way do I go?
do I move fast or slow?
blood and fear all too real
is this any way to feel?
I imagine somewhere else to be
is this even really me?
I want so badly to be free
I realize then no one can save me
I must find courage from the source who made me
hiding between the sheets it’s dawn
surely I cannot endure long
maybe I’m the one who’s wrong
‘NO’ I scream but it goes unheard
why can’t you just hear this one word?
you will learn how to treat me someday
but if you dont – that’s okay
I’m already on my way
with strength and grace and power too
plus the knowledge that
I dont have to give any of it to you
and the truth is love is patient and kind
even you can’t change my mind
a girl can plan and hope and pray
but God will make sure I’m okay
I just have to stop getting in His way
to begin again after so much sin
is to depend a lot on Him
like a tree grounded in the memory
of how the world is supposed to be
fair and just and free
reminding me of ecstasy
that’s how I wanted it to be
I simply cannot see
how this turned out to be my reality
the opposite of everything I imagined it to be
but oh no
there will be no woe is me
this is a victory for me you see
no way you can destroy me
my soul will always be free
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