Well hello there!

I can see you are a bit tired. Is it your relationships?
Please sit down and have a cup of tea with me here.

So here is the deal – everyone should work really hard in relationships.

Just joking! I bet you heard this one many times.

The truth is – you don’t really have to work hard for your love. All you have to do is it to is 3 things really:

• Get your state of mind to where this doesn’t feel like a necessity, but becomes a natural caring.
• Get your emotional intelligence to a decent state.
• And get your state of heart to the point where you are a genuinely loving person.

I have some pieces of advice on this subject coming out in the next post. Ideally, of course, would be to do this before you enter relationship battlefield. But none of us does it in this order anyway Perhaps you are already in a relationship.

At any stage of your relationship – please – always, always remember why you started.

You were happy. You had butterflies. You saw this person as the right one and you had hopes and plans associated with them. You used to talk so much and you amazed each other with just how similar you are. Don’t you dare to ever forget it. You had sex three times a day, you were attracted to each other tremendously.

Don’t leave these relationships in order to pursue something you already had here, right here if front of you. Wake up – it is a vicious circle, don’t fall into this trap. The same will happen with the next one. Choose this person again. Don’t give in to your active mind that thinks it is bored now. It can never ever be satisfied. Tame your mind.

You are looking for a 100% match? None of us is 100%. You are not 100% for anyone, not even your mom. The secret is to find at least 70% and work with that. Just be mindful about having flexible people around you, who are accepting their weak moments and ready to go on a self-improvement journey with you. And not only for you, for themselves, because self-betterment should be a natural instinct. Don’t go enter a relationship with someone who has his views stubbornly cemented and is not willing to consistently grow, mature and change. Look for the warning signs carefully. We aren’t normally disappointed with the things we find in life, but with what you expected or hoped to find there, often blinded by hormones that play a big role when you first meet. Because it might happen that in the end you will find yourself the only one in these relationships who is willing to work on problems. You can work on yourself all you want, but without other person failure is on the cards in this case, unfortunately.

You should both always be open to going to therapy together. This can almost certainly be a game changer. You don’t have to do anything, just be open, sit and listen. You might speak up eventually. Stay together, work stuff through, address things. The person you were so happy to meet is still right there. Your common hopes are still alive. Buried under the layer of misunderstandings – yes, but they are still there. Dig it. Great sex is still there. Talk everything out with your partner and you will discover it again. (Try tantra, by the way).

Communication is at the core. Make an effort to educate yourself on how to communicate well, there are many books and online courses now. You cannot just say whatever your bad mood dictates you. Self-control is a must. Seems like we are often capable of it at work but not with those close to us, our family, people who actually care and matter the most. The concept that we can be ourselves with our loved ones is often heavily abused. The reality is – this mood-swinged human is not really “ourselves”.

Mind discipline should be the priority. Regardless of how you feel, please make sure you act in a way that other people know where they stand with you. Don’t let anyone down for selfish reasons of indulging in your willingness to become angry or irritated. It has a passing nature, but leaves inevitable bitterness on your relationship and really disappoints other people.

Make these relationships fun and compassionate journey, try your best to be open and supportive. Have the patience to talk and hear even when things are steamed up. Be careful with how you say things. Many things hurt and trigger childhood problems, and you might not be aware of this. Us, humans are so very fragile, even if we hide it. Accept each other unconditionally for the trust to be developed. And when you are fully accepted, this is where real intimacy starts. No more fears or insecurity, you know you are in this shit together and you will work it out, because you are a strong team and success is at the best interest of both.

It is all not easy and I hope we all work it out. However your relationship goes, I love you! Thank you for your time.