As a working adult, all I can say is that this was not what I expected. Growing up, all I wanted was to grow up. Heck, all I wanted at 17 years old was to age another year so I could be of legal drinking age (where I live) and strut into the theatre to watch M18 movies like a rockstar.

I remember plenty of adults asking me what I wanted to be when I got older, and some of the things I’ve wanted (according to my mother) were to:

1. Be a dinosaur
2. Live in a submarine
3. Type at a typewriter all day

To be frank, all of those 3 options still sound extremely perfect at this point in my life, I’d give up everything I have in a heartbeat to be a bronchosaurus.

But as life would have it, I’m in my late twenties and I absolutely hate it. I suppose this is very millennial of me, or it’s “just a phase” – the same kind our parents said we had when we were teenagers hating our lives because all we wanted was to grow up.

Perhaps it is a phase, but to all my fellow late-twenties friends, I’ve narrowed down a bunch of reasons why everything is absolute shit.

You’re Not Too Young, But You’re Not Too Old

No shit. You’re not young enough to have the excuse to not have your life on track. When people ask you what your job is, what’s on the news, paying your bills, you have NO EXCUSE not to know. In fact, you should know. You must know. Number 30 is looming and how can you, a person who existed on this earth for almost 30 years not know! That’s inexcusable.

However, when it comes to that promotion, you’re suddenly “too young”. You don’t have enough experience as compared to your colleague Nancy who has existed 5 more years than you but you know you’re equally as competent if not more competent simply because you’re hungry for success. When you want to change your job, everyone around you starts questioning your decision as though you can’t be trusted to make decisions on your own life. And don’t even get me started on taxes and filing them – makes me feel like I’m in primary school all over again.

The Price Of Independence

Where I live, it is common to live with your parents till marriage simply because it is too expensive to afford a house in my tiny, tiny island. However, even for my friends who live in a rented flat or apartment, I think we can all fully agree that everything is so expensive and we constantly have to decide whether we want to set our bills or ourselves on fire.

We’re too young, average and mediocre (this makes me really sad as I type this, some harsh facts) to earn the big bucks. Let’s not forget the temptations we face on a daily basis, what with the bombardment of wonderful adverts for luxury goods, makeup and travel destinations on Instagram. So we have yet another dilemma on our hands: do we want to look pretty at work and have nice things and go to nice places, or have none of that in hopes of owning a nice house in 20 years time?

Whichever option we choose is to be met with a whole bunch of criticism from people of other age groups: our parents’ generation would say saving up is wise, and the younger ones would say we don’t know what life is about. No decision makes anyone happy.

Love

This might not be true for all of us, but it is the truth for me. I am single, very very single at this age. This was not something I anticipated. I always dreamt of being married by the age of 27, or at least be in a loving relationship. I don’t even have a speck of a relationship on my hands. I’m not saying I’ve never been in one. But I exited a long-term relationship and it’s been hard. (this story is so long, dramatic and on hindsight hilarious, I might consider writing a series on its own if there are requests)

So with my ruined dreams I’ve been single since my mid-twenties and have no clue as to what to do with it. Being single in your late twenties is difficult: you’re looking for men who can offer some stability and not some kid that you have to mother. That is more difficult than it sounds. Of course, things change if you’re trans, bi, or gay but like I said, this rings true for me at the very least.

At the moment, the biggest challenge in dating is men who are interested in sex and absolutely nothing else. That’s awful, I know.

Relationships

This can be linked to love, but the kind of relationships I’m talking about here is more to do with friendships and familial relationships. They’re just deteriorating because of your inability to commit to them. No, I’m not saying you’re a bad friend or sibling but the truth is, we’re working hard trying to make ends meet to pay bills that we don’t want to pay. Given a choice I’d want to hang out with my friends all day long but all your friends are also in the late-twenties and just as busy. And working that hard means you don’t have the energy to even socialise despite your desire. I know I come home jaded everyday and looking at my cat, I feel his desire to sleep all day on a spiritual level.

Go out and be even more exhausted, or stay in and be hermit? God these choices are never easy.

Aging  – you don’t want that anymore

You know what I discovered on my head the other day? White hairs. And a wrinkle. My birthday just passed a week ago. I hate aging. How am I going to succeed in my love life if the superficial attractive elements of me are falling apart? More importantly, have you noticed your ability to “bounce-back” from a night out has severely changed? I can’t even stay past 2 a.m without my back and knees hurting. And it thoroughly sucks as I used to be able to go for 2 days with no sleep. No issues. What happened to those times?

Truth is we don’t want to age. We want to stay young and attractive. But at the same time we do want to age, so our careers can progress and we get one step closer to achieving our goals of car or home-ownership. The dilemma.

From all the people that I’ve spoken to, they’re all glad they’re out of their twenties. This is the age where no one would hold our hands and guide us through, we’re expected to figure things out on our own. This is the age where no one gives you a gold star for achieving anything or a pat on the back (even though we deserve it). This is the age where people expect you to stick with things like your job. But I say go for it. Go for your dreams and don’t care what anyone else would say. Where were they when you needed some guidance? Where were they when you could use some encouragement? Where were they when you felt you achieved something but they brushed it off as not good enough?

Here’s to you, fellow late-twenties. Soldier on.