About a few weeks ago, a fellow member in a blind and visually impaired support group on Facebook shared a rather disgusting video. A young blind woman in her early 20’s called in to a popular radio show. In this particular episode, the woman called in to express her frustration with attitudinal barriers faced by blind people, which then turned into a conversation about whether the blind are able to watch children alone. They mocked her, laughed at her, and talked over her, which is typical of these hosts. If that wasn’t bad enough, they had callers call in with their two cents, with comments like “A guide dog would do a better job looking after a child.

I’ll be honest with you, I’m not surprised most people took this position. You only have to look at the inequities present in the education system and the 70-90 percent unemployment rate to know just what society thinks of people with disabilities. What I found to be absolutely heartbreaking here were the reactions those of us who spoke out received from members of our own community. We were told to stop making a big deal out of the situation, that the young woman was in the wrong for not articulating her position properly. Some even went so far as to defend the hosts of the show. This was the moment I knew it was time to speak out on a deeper issue I consider worse than ableism. I am talking about the issue staring us in the face, the elephant in the room very few wish to address. I am talking about the internalized self-hatred rampant in our community. There are those out there who view being blind as this shameful part of themselves and if they could only find a way to hide this horrible stain on their otherwise perfect lives, then maybe everyone else would accept them. In their eyes, sighted people can do know wrong and by speaking out against issues like this controversy we are drawing unwanted attention to the community.

This controversy was not the first issue to make me aware of my self-hating blind brothers and sisters. When I was a student attending Algonquin College, one of the folks working in the disability department was blind. During one of our meetings, he spent the last five or so minutes trashing the blind community, making it perfectly clear he wasn’t one of us, and complaining about “the demanding disabled people who walk in here every day”.

Another self-hating blind person I fortunately did not have the displeasure of meeting was a woman who was interviewed on a CBC radio program three or so years ago. Jessica was recounting her experiences online dating as a blind woman. She was so fearful of her date finding out she was blind, that she decided to fool him into thinking she was fully sighted by reading the menu of their chosen restaurant online, and pretending to read it while on their date. The only reason she got away with it for as long as she did was because she had just enough sight to do so, but the truth comes out in the end. She talked about having that conversation and dropping what she called the “blind bomb” when it came time to talk about her lack of sight with potential suitors.

I get it. When you’ve spent the majority of your life being conditioned to believe that you are less by special education teachers, vision specialists, and even by those you trust and who’s opinions you value, you start to think well, if everyone is saying and thinking these things, then they must be true. I’ll give you that. I’ll also give you that some of us had amazing support systems, family and friends who helped shape us into the proud blind men and women we are today. You may not have had that, but that does not give you the right to tell us how to feel about these issues. You do not have the right to shame us when we decide to speak out against injustice. Let me make this clear. Your self-hatred will only hurt you in the end. Your overwhelming desire to be accepted by the masses will lead you down some dark paths. As for me, I love and will continue to be proud of these beautiful sightless eyes, the same way I am proud of my beautiful black skin. I’m here to tell you that your lack of sight is beautiful too.