Believe it or not, love, like almost all things in this life, is learned. And sometimes we learn incorrectly.

As it affects all people, as it is one of the most powerful and universal feelings that exist, each one gives it its characteristics and ideas that, in many cases, are not entirely true.

Some of these beliefs about love, if they become extreme, can harm the couple. Let’s find out what they are about.

Four false ideas about love
As we saw in “ What kind of couple are we? ”, Defining love is very complicated. We can, however, grant certain properties that would define it.

In that article, I named passion, intimacy, and commitment as three fundamental components in any relationship.

However, some people believe that it is love itself that makes the couple work.

The four main misconceptions about love
1.- Love is the basis on which the couple is based.

As if the simple concept of love, in many occasions idealized and hardly deciphered, was the key.

What defines a good relationship is, in addition to the three components mentioned above, good communication, a good reinforcement system between the two, respect, trust and a good way to solve problems together.

These and many other factors are true love.

2.- Love is spontaneous, unexpected, fortuitous, unpredictable: you cannot control whom you fall in love with.

Where is that written? Spontaneity in love is not entirely true: it requires a predisposition on the part of the person.

Love is not something magical that happens without more, without we can do anything to avoid it.

Each person chooses who falls in love because, for love to exist in that relationship, there must be all those components that do not arise mysteriously but must be worked on and achieved.

3.- An idea closely related to the latter is the following: love, as it appears without us being able to control it, can also disappear without our being able to solve it.

This is a belief that has a lot to do with the idea that love means falling in love. Falling in love is nothing but a phase of love.

If we believe that those emotions and feelings that are lived at the beginning of the relationship are the ones that will always send in the couple, we are very wrong.

Love is changing, it changes, and we have to adapt to that: if not, we are lost.

4.- And the last false idea: love can do everything. Maybe “everything” is generalizing in excess.

Love can with almost everything, but not with everything. It can with the things that you decide, according to what you have learned throughout the whole relationship (and each one learned on their own).

It may be that one of the two can overcome a difficulty that the other does not; That is why communication and negotiation are so important in moments of conflict in the couple.

Therefore, only with love is not enough.

If you identify with any of these ideas, your mythified concept of love may be creating some kind of conflict in the couple.

Maybe it’s time to reflect on what love is and not give false beliefs.

Remember: love is nothing more than a concept, the couple needs much more.