Today, Tomorrow and Yesterday

I’m 33 or so they say,
That I’m an old soul that’s well past my days.
I’ll tell you I’m fine that being the “thing” to do.
Coming from an old soul searching for what’s real and the truth.
Now I’m trying to learn to stay in check.
When everyday I’m rendered speechless.
Still, I keep it real by being honest and true.
Then put my feelings aside to do whatever it is that I have to.
An I know,
because I’ve been there,
I’ve seen it ,
shit I’ve done it a time or 2.
It left me restless and breathless.
Sleepless with no rest in sight.
A lesson well learned about myself and as well as you.
That We all have and end that eventually that we cannot elude.
So as for me ,
I’ll no longer waste my tomorrow’s wishing that they were today.
All I have is this moment searching for a purpose and the right words to say.
When the end is quick.
There’s nothing to grasp and no time for goodbyes.
It’s only memories we get to leave behind after we die.
These facts are tragic
& most just laugh it on by .
Only this is real and it’s your life as well as mine.
So I’ll try to make something out of nothing,
Since that’s just how it is that I feel.
Like they say “Life is a struggle and the struggle is real.”
In struggle we experience pain .
In pain we find what’s unconditional.
Still, most never get to experience the real of what’s unconditional
because It’s never been that simple.
Along with all the Moments or feelings without conditions or lines that need to be met.
Hey, don’t we get just what we get?
Well Yeah,
I’m crazy ,
Yeah, I know I’m considered mostly insane.
Seems being past my modern days.
That I’m an Old soul searching….. so i guess I’m unfit as well as insane.
Thinking blindly,
loving real believing it could be simple if I could find the words to just make you feel.
Man,
What’s my deal?
I’ve tried to count the days wasted on the what if we could tomorrow’s.
While I lay in this bed I’ve made of love ,
pain and dirty sorrows.
Found Happiness can’t be bought.
So it can’t be borrowed.
I’ve allowed words to prove things that only actions could.
Along With things that can only be something other than what it should.
Walked Along with our Moral values from childhood & the golden rule you’d think that we would.
Instead We’re just living in the could, would and should haves of what ifs and tomorrows.
Borrowing out all that we have to borrow.
So each night I’ll lay in this bed that I made yesterday,
with him gone as always.
I know this so I’ll say,
don’t try to learn lessons of life in a just day.
Since Life is given it’s not a choice that you can choose .
Till we learn some of us win man and some of us , well , we lose.
I hope some listen as I say ,
Tomorrow will soon be the day, when you’ll lay in the bed that you’ve made.
So don’t settle in words that can’t prove what actions can.
Don’t lose that feeling from when your knees hit and you couldn’t stand.
Simply I say in struggle bears pain
and pain bears the unconditioned.
So be real,
Be In love,
And listen,
Experience moments never been given.
Learn from anything being taught.
Don’t take from one,
Then two ,
thinking that the third one can be bought.
That’s a fight many have fought and lost.
When a moment worth remembering should be all that we want.
Truth is,
Money is the root to most here and it certainly isn’t free.
I’m just trying to make a difference to somebody.
So Tell me,
How do I end this peacefully?
Or how would or could I know?
I could say that this is it,
the last moment in time.
Then leave with the unconditional love that I was able to find,
wreckless & outta my God blessed mind.
Still yet, I wish all the best & non the less.
Unconditional love, truth and moments that make it all worth the rest.
The End I guess.

– Katie Elizabeth

2016
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