I am not a medical professional, I am just someone sharing my thoughts on an issue close to me. If you relate to this article, please see your doctor and understand things will get better!

Those of you who have traveled before know the excitement of booking a ticket and the bittersweet feelings of returning home. Though it’s nice to be back in your familiar surroundings, you think longingly of your trip to a new location, recalling your fond memories and promising yourself you will go back one day.

  But what if that sweet nostalgia isn’t so sweet after all? What if the taste in your mouth is bitter? What if being back at home turns into restlessness and even anger? Without the stimulus of my adventures, there is nothing left to occupy my brain. This proves to be a problem when, instead of looking back on my days in Lisbon with warmth, I feel almost enraged that I had to leave.

  Then, in that rage, I turn to my credit cards. I tell myself that if I book a trip, I will have something to look forward to. I click the button and pay for my airfare, only to realize that money is supposed to go to bills. Now that I’ve calmed myself down, I see the mistake I have made. In my mania, I have booked a trip I can not afford. I have jeopardized my well-being for a trip that I cannot take. I have quit jobs, gone hungry, and sold my belongings, all for my next trip.

  When I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder, I started to understand where my impulses came from and why. Rationalizing good times and bad times to head out on the road has been hard, but worth it. I am not a medical professional, but I am someone with experience in feeling less than okay, someone who wants to get away from it all.

  My advice to you is to read, dream, and plan. Think fondly of the world and all of the places you will one day see, but find it in yourself to say “not today” if the urge comes at a bad time. Do not fall into the trap that “money comes back” because bills do not pay themselves. Take a step back, a deep breath, and believe that the day will come where you feel okay enough for your next adventure.