write@elephantjournal.com,

So, blue hooded sweatshirt, you seem to have everything I am looking for in a mate. You are loose around the neck, leaving me feeling free and uninhibited. You also are straight on the bottom so as not to hug my current gut butt. You feature the fantastical message, Be Kind. Add that in to the fact you are made in my home state and I am sold.

But, if you’re like me, before we click add to cart, we must check out what others are saying. As I sifted through review upon review, one stopped me in my virtual tracks. It came from “Betty” who went on to say, “I ordered a 2X because I like my sweatshirts bigger so I can wear other layers underneath.” Oh Betty, Betty, Betty. We need to talk. First of all, we all know a Betty or are a Betty. Bettys of the world are embarrassed to be a 2X. We do everything to fit in, even telling people we are pregnant when we in fact aren’t. Well, they asked. Who does that? Stupid kids.

Here’s what we need to remember. We need not justify to society for wearing a 2X., 3X, 4X, XS, XL, M, L. You see where I am going with this. It is no one’s business what size we are wearing. First and foremost, there is no such thing as One Size Fits Most or One Size Fits All. These are two of the most damaging labels in the retail world. Society has conditioned women in particular to apologize for their clothing or scale size. I could do a lot of research in this area and something tells me I will not run across this type of product review in a men’s item. But, there definitely is pressure on men to measure up. We can see that by the ripped, beefy babes on the magazine covers.

I have worked in retail and I can tell you this. Clothing sizes are anything but universal. There is no one standard. In fact, when an item is unmarked or puzzling us, we sometimes guess to put that little tag guy on the hanger. That is a problem for many whose OCD tendencies tell them I am a size 6. I won’t wear anything but. If we need to go up a size. then damnation.

Bettys, we must love ourselves or it will be really difficult for others to do the same. I struggle with this every day. I am likely one of “those sensitive fat people”. For instance, when doing yoga Friday night with my three kiddos, one of my teen boys said, “Fe, fi…” to which I instantly replied, “Fe, fi, f$%^ off”. It was a reaction of the knee jerk kind, as quick as one can be with my level of flexibility, Betty.

I am working on me to get healthier. I could tell you l am chubbier because of my psychotropic meds, from my bipolar or because I am too tired to work out because of an extremely busy brain or because I have a binge eating issue. Aside from excuses I refuse to embrace (this is in my own situation, everyone is different), these are just reasons no one has any business knowing. If someone is going to judge your 2X Betty, flip them a double bird. You are beautiful, babe. Keep on keeping on. Represent and be thankful on behalf of the thousands of people who will not wake up today. They would love to be in your skin…no matter if you are bat winging, double chinning or turkey necking. Fly high, love. Be kind. Especially to you.

Amy Wilinski- Lyman is a part-time job coach, full-time bipolar warrior and mom to three awesome kiddos. She published her first children’s book, Lucky G and the Sunbeam Girl: Helping Children Understand Depression, in 2019.