A little rant on cut off culture.

I had written this to myself awhile back as words of candidacy in a little journal series that’s called My own best Friend.

Your announcing on social media that you don’t need anybody and that you stay to yourself always…really just shows your bitterness, resentment and your HURT. It’s quite sad actually. While I’m a HUGE advocate for self love and self acceptance I’m also a human being. We are created with the NEED for human connection. Even just a little. Studies have shown that new born babies who are not touched or held are more prone to get sick and or die. You have to know that not every single person in this gigantic world is out to get you, not every single human being is waiting for the opportunity to put you down in some way, not every single living soul is going to betray you, switch up or lie to you. Some people (YOUR people) will accept you, love you, support you and work with you to maintain a healthy relationship. That being said people will and DO make mistakes constantly. That’s included you. Because we are ALL hurting we all know that hurt people – hurt people. So yes, a bit of discernment is necessary to know who it is you choose to keep company with. But if your “real friends” are trying, you need to try with them. This “cut off culture is actually isolating us more than we already are. Your always late, never text back friend may not be toxic she could be legit busy or going through something too heavy to decipher or share with you at this at this time. A toxic person has a pattern of behavior that leads to the same or similar outcomes in any given circumstance. Example: a man/woman in a relationship keeps on cheating but coming back to their partner(s) with grander and grander apologies and displays of love or affection. The out pour of promises of commitment become more and more elaborate. But In the end the partner(s) end up being treated the same exact way- cheated on, deserted and undervalued (not necessarily in that order). That’s just one example. One must discern for the self thinking if everyone around me are liars, users, negative, chaotic, that just means I need better friends. Or if not “better”, different. NOT thinking that you don’t need ANY friends. Because that’s a lie and will leave you with a bitterness that even you will hate. Perpetuating your loneliness and self sabotaging behaviors. Instead, do something new (maybe something you’ve always wanted to try) and meet new people who want what you want and are working towards getting it the same way you are.

My point for typing this is as a reminder to myself that my circle is my choice. There ARE genuine people out there who love, respect and treat people (especially their friends) with kindness, appreciation and love. Chances are if you have more than zero you are blessed because the pickin’s is slim…. as the saying goes.