Circumstances have you feeling defeated? Have you lost your joy? Rise above.

By Virginia Maurer-Negron

For many of us we find ourselves constantly running around. Constantly moving. We live in a very busy world and dare I say we live in a very strange world right now. A lot of us are feeling overwhelmed, stressed, anxious, and tired. My goodness so tired. You, me all of us. We are all running at what feels like warp speed sometimes. But I ask you where is the joy in all this? As you find yourself adding more and more things to do to the list daily do you still add joy to that list? I am going to guess not. Because if you are anything like me. I lost my joy a while ago. I was looking for it like a lost dog wondering aimlessly. To hopefully find it while searching in the dark. The good news though my friends, is even though you have lost joy you can find it again.

We work so hard everyday to ensure the things we need to get done are done. And in some way, this keeps us from sinking. It satisfies us enough to keep the cycle going. Even though inside we are tired. We are ready to throw in the towel and say we are done. But we do not. We do the opposite. We dig our selves deeper and deeper into the idea of this is how we should be living. We allow our circumstances and others to steal our joy. Now I do not want you to think I am saying all people are negative and bad for us and we should stay away from them. What I mean is WE allow others and circumstances to steal our joy. Each and everyone of us has the right and the power to find out joy every single day we open our eyes. WE control it. I am going to tell you how.

Never let circumstances steal your joy! Remember you are in control!

Now I am not saying things are going to magically happen overnight. That would be wonderful if they did, am I right! But these things take time. And if you are stubborn like me it may take a bit longer. Because you know we all like to do it the hard way sometimes. I just want to give you some tools you can utilize going forward that will hopefully return joy and harmony to your life. This is not an easy road to take. But each hurdle you jump is going to bring you closer and closer back to the joy you lost along the road.

Here are a few things that rob you of your joy! Do not let them!

The first topic I am going to touch on is circumstances. This is a BIG one! And in my opinion the number one stealer of joy. Think about a time in your life where you were performing a task. And you thought everything was going well. You did everything right. And then boom something goes wrong! I do not know about you, but this has happened to me many times. And what do we instantly start to do to ourselves. Talk negatively about how we messed up, we did nothing right, how could something have gone wrong, I am such a screw up, nobody is going to trust me again. Yea, we have all done it. Disappoints and mistakes no matter how big are small can immediately rob us of our joy.

Now think about it I am sure the mistake that was made was not a big deal at all. We are too hard on ourselves. Our brains want to immediately beat us up and throw us in the closet for making simple mistakes. But not this time. This time we are going to rise above. Because we are getting strong. We know better. We are talking to ourselves in a more positive light. So instead of beating ourselves up for the next month. We are going to take the mishap as a learning experience. What could we do differently next time to ensure the same mishap does not occur again? Because let us face it folks not even one of us is perfect. We all have flaws. We all make mistakes no matter how hard we try not to. So just laugh it off. Reset and think of ways you will improve your performance next time. As you reset your mindset will follow suite and each mishap you have will become easier to handle.

Now this next one may surprise you. But you need to declutter your mind and your life.

One of the many favorite things I love to do is cleaning. Sounds crazy, right! Wrong! Think about how good it feels to clean your home. The fresh sent, the clean floor, the shinny counter tops, etc. The open free flowing space feels so freeing. And it is so good for the soul. Think about it how do you feel when you house is messy? Stressed, anxious, frustrated etc. I mean we all go through it from time to time. Look at clutter as walls closing in on you. It makes you feel trapped. So, keep your space free flowing and tidy. Trust me you will feel the effects.

Now let us look at the mind when relating to clutter. I do not know about all of you, but this brain of mine is on overdrive constantly. Remember in the beginning when we talked about constantly running around. Yea, that applied here too. We will our minds with so much clutter it leads us to anxiety, stress, overwhelming feelings. I mean who wants to deal with that. None of us. So, we need to cut it out! Not only does mental clutter make us feel extremely exhausted it also takes our joy and squashes it. Raise your hand if this is you! Mine is way up in the air my friends. Almost touching the ceiling. But do not you worry we are going to go over ways you can work on getting that joy back in balance.

People. People everywhere! People can be vampires of joy!

Get the picture out of your head of the vampires we see on television. It is not those types of vampires. But people can literally suck the joy right out of your body. I am talking about the people that cross boundaries, are rude, put you down, make you feel worthless, and are just all-around people that suck your good energies from your body. I do not know if you have ever seen the show Lost Girl. But imagine how Bo sucks the life out of people that is how I envision joy being sucked out of people. If not look up the image.

Imagine the chronic complainer in your life. For these people NOTHING ever goes right. Even when something does, and everything is spectacular they will still find a reason to complain. They are just naturally joy sucker’s over time. We try and sit there and do our part and listen and overtime we just fall right down with them. I know many this has happened to. Including myself. As helpers we want to fix this type of persons problems. To help them. But in turn it depletes us. It takes everything we have. Earlier I mentioned we are in control of what steals our joy and what does not. This is a case where we need to take charge and stop allowing this to happen. Yes, we can still be there for this type of person, but we can manage how we respond and how much energy we put into it.

We are always in control of how we respond in these types of situations. And how much of ourselves we put into it. Never let anyone make you feel any less then you are. And if you have reached the point where you feel this person no longer adds value to your life. You have every right to walk away. Nobody is owned in this world. You own yourself. And because of that you control you joy. Nobody else.

Now let us get to the meat and potatoes. How to locate your joy in a chaotic world?

First and foremost, you need to find those things again that make you happy. Think back to a time before the world influenced you or you started dating. What made you happy? What were those things that just the thought of them brought a smile to your face? Seriously sit there and think about it. I do not want you to just read the words and not take this time. Take 5 minuets or however long it takes and then continue reading. This can be a hobby, selfcare, giving back to others, whatever it is take time to think about it. Now whatever that is do it! Take the time and do it! This single step right here may take some time. But trust me you will restore your joy.

Now this next one is just as big LIVE YOUR LIFE! How many of you reading this like to please others and lose yourself in the process? I am sure a lot of you. Because I am the same type of person. I was always the type of person to put everyone else’s needs above mine. You needed it you got it. Whether it was my time, attention, whatever you needed I was there. Do not worry about what others think about what you are doing with your life. It is not their business. Unless you are doing something harmful then it is there business. But let us stick to the more positive here. Your life is yours to live. Sure, people are going to judge, and they are going to have their opinions. Blah blah. Until they step into your shoes and live out your story none of it matters. This also goes with setting boundaries. Trust me they will not like it at first. But in the long run it will bring you peace and joy. You live for you! Live your truth!

LAUGH! Oh, my goodness LAUGH until your stomach hurts and you feel like you are going to be sick. I know a little overly dramatic. But you get the point. Ladies and Gentlemen laughter is the best form of medicine anyone can ever give you. Think about it if you are having a bad day and someone or something make you laugh how good does that feel. It seems to melt away all the stress and worry you have carried the entire day. And here is the biggest one to laugh at YOURSELF. You mess up, laugh. You are stressed, laugh. Something did not go your way laugh. Sounds weird right. Not really. Try it and you will see how quickly it works to turn your mood around.

No matter what always turn back to joy!

At the end of the day we all face different challenges, and we handle them differently. Especially right now when times are so tough for so many. But always choose to rise above and do not let any circumstances or people steal your joy. And this includes yourself!