View this post on Instagram

Honesty has always been my guiding principle, even when it felt like it might cause pain.

I believe in being transparent, in showing up as my true self, flaws and all. But sometimes that very honesty, my raw unfiltered truth, has a way of pushing people away instead of bringing them closer.

My intentions to be sincere have often been misunderstood, and it’s painful to realize that what I thought would bring clarity and understanding ended up causing even more distance.

I admit that in my pursuit of honesty, I have sometimes failed to consider how my words might affect others.

I didn’t always think through the impact of my transparency, and I understand how that could have hurt you. I wanted to offer clarity and trust, but I see now that it might have come across as something else.

Maybe too much or maybe even too harsh. And for that, I am truly sorry.

After much reflection, I know I could have communicated differently, been more mindful of your feelings. But at the time, I thought that being open would bring us closer.

I never anticipated that my honesty would be the end of us.

The silence that followed, however, feels like a weight I can’t shake.

And while I know that I am not without fault, the grief of not being given a chance to explain, to apologize, or even to say goodbye, cuts deeper than I ever anticipated.

The hardest part of all this isn’t just the end—it’s the silence that surrounds it. Being left in a space where my apologies and my emotions can’t reach you is a type of grief that I never expected.

I understand that words may not change things, that sometimes we needs space to heal. Yet, I can’t help but feel that the pain of letting go would be easier to bear if I knew that I was worth one last conversation. If not for anything other than for the sake of the 12 years of friendship we shared.

I wish I had one last chance to be heard. Instead, the silence lingers. It haunts me in ways that no words ever could.

I want to respect the boundaries that have been set, even if they’ve left me feeling empty. It’s important to honor the feelings of others, especially when they have chosen to move on.

But that doesn’t make the pain go away.

I can acknowledge that this relationship has run its course, but the weight of letting go with no closure, no explanation, no chance to be understood, feels like a wound that won’t heal.

The thing about silence is that it tells you everything and nothing at once. It’s a form of loss that feels even more final.

The grief I feel comes in waves, unpredictable and intense. I grieve the life we shared, I grieve the conversations we never had and the possibility of what might have been. I grieve the person I failed to be and I grieve the future we never got to share.

But in all of this, I also respect the need for distance and the end of a chapter.

I wish I was worth one last conversation. A chance to hear the final thoughts and share a goodbye that wasn’t marked by silence.

But sometimes the hardest part of a relationship’s end is realizing that the final chapter isn’t something we can write—it’s something the other person decides for themselves.

And while it breaks me to know that I wasn’t worth a conversation in the end, I am learning to live with the silence, to let go and carry the lessons forward.

~