Every year, my favorite tree in the front yard undergoes an amazing transformation that seems to occur in the blink of an eye.

It gently sheds all its leaves, and then, as if by magic, vibrant green leaves burst through the branches just as swiftly as they disappeared.

A few weeks ago, I captured the beauty of this change in the photo above. It inspired me to reflect on this Rumi quote: “Be like a tree and let the dead things drop.”

This was a potent reminder to embrace change and release what no longer serves us.

The idea of letting things go used to irritate me because I didn’t fully grasp its meaning or how to apply it in my life. Even now, I occasionally find myself grappling with it. As an analytical person, I thrive on visual aids and practical steps to navigate challenges, perhaps reflecting my Virgo nature.

In my mind, I connect the act of letting go to that exhilarating yet scary moment when I left my son’s dorm room at the start of his first year of college. And yes, letting go can also be the instant my curling iron drops to the floor after I realize I have grabbed the wrong end. It can also be as significant as forgiving someone who has hurt you or accepting that a relationship has ended. These are all instances of letting go that we can relate to daily.

Many types of letting go require a conscious decision rather than just a physical action. This can be incredibly rewarding but also overwhelming. It can also bring painful feelings if you’re not fully ready, especially if your heart and mind conflict.

Letting go is a powerful act of liberation. It’s about releasing all doubt, worry, and fear that weigh you down, whether related to a situation, a person, or an uncertain outcome. By letting go, you consciously free yourself from the burdens that disrupt your happiness and no longer serve your journey. The relief that follows is like a weight lifted off your shoulders, leaving you feeling lighter and more at peace.

Letting go can also open the door to fresh beginnings, freeing you from yesterday and allowing new opportunities to flow in today. It’s about embracing the present moment and releasing worries about tomorrow. The act of letting go requires an internal transformation that empowers you to feel better and live life fully.

This year has been a journey through loss, grief, and worry for me. It has consisted of deep conversations, self-reflection, and exploring various spiritual beliefs about the art of letting go.

I’ve discovered a few things that have helped me gain clarity in this practice and could inspire you as well:

1. Release the Grief: Grief takes many forms. Within the past year, I suffered the loss of five close family members, including my mother and sister. Because the relationship with my mother was far from healthy, grief has snuck up on me many times, showing up as anxiety, pain, resentment, or even guilt.

Sometimes, memories from the past can weigh heavily on our hearts. This can make it challenging to move forward. As these narratives accumulate, they create barriers that hinder our ability to let go. In these moments, seeking therapy becomes a vital step toward healing and transformation from the inside out.

We must remind ourselves that we always have a right to seek answers and strive for understanding. But the reality of this can be challenging, as closure doesn’t always happen as we hope it would. Not everyone will explain their actions, much less offer an apology, and this can feel like pouring salt in an open wound. Yet, it also serves as a reminder of our beautiful resilience and strength in facing these truths. Finding peace without solid answers can be challenging. But it can often lead us to embrace life’s journey and grow stronger in the face of uncertainty.

2. Say it Out Loud: Expressing ourselves through meaningful conversations with someone we trust can lead to remarkable breakthroughs. Utilizing a life coach or therapist can be transformative. Counseling has afforded me invaluable objective advice and support on my healing journey and learning to let go. Remember, you are not alone in this journey. Seeking support can make you feel understood and less alone in your struggles.

Sometimes, friends and family might be too close to a situation to offer the unbiased support we need, and their advice might not always resonate with us. Letting go can be challenging, especially when old narratives from past experiences linger in our subconscious. Embracing this awareness with an experienced counselor can be the first step toward our own growth and healing.

3. Embrace Mindfulness: Our minds hold incredible power, serving as our greatest ally and most formidable adversary. Choosing to release the grip of past issues and hurtful experiences can completely shatter the cycle of unhealthy rumination.

Many years ago, my partner was in a serious motorcycle accident. The injuries were permanent and were caused by an impaired driver. And although this took place so long ago, I was still afraid at the thought of him buying another motorcycle years later. I couldn’t let go of what had happened to him in the past. When I found myself dwelling in those painful memories, I unwittingly crafted a narrative filled with threats to his safety. Mindfulness helped me to look at my thoughts and feelings with objectivity and without getting caught up in them, which, in turn, made it easier to let go of the fear and anxiety I associated with his motorcycle.

By cultivating this awareness, I understood his freedom from riding, demonstrating a deeper understanding, greater compassion, and acceptance of his love of riding his motorcycle.

From this experience, I discovered that our past does not define us. Just because something upsetting happened in the past, we shouldn’t label the idea as a failure or limit ourselves or those we love from achieving their desires. Letting go became easier by observing those thoughts without attaching my identity to them. I just had to remember that thoughts are simply thoughts; how we respond can empower or hinder us. I am now empowered by the happiness my partner experiences on his motorcycle.

4. Sort it All Out: Believe me, this “aha moment” about the motorcycle did not occur overnight or even in a few years. It was a gradual process of self-reflection and understanding. I had to really look at my feelings and process this traumatic experience before I could let it go.

As a writer, this becomes a powerful tool for catharsis and creative release. I find solace in journaling my thoughts and feelings. While fixating on past details isn’t the healthiest course (a common struggle we all face), reflecting on why we feel certain ways and embracing the opportunity to show up differently in the future is essential. This process of sorting it all out can inspire hope and lead to transformative breakthroughs.

5. Stay Present: The present is all we truly have. We can’t return to fix the past; the future remains unwritten. Each day, we must commit to embracing the journey that unfolds before us, including its ups and downs, joys and challenges. A friend once shared, “You are right where you are supposed to be,” during a tough season in my life. Initially, I felt frustrated and a little confused by her words, reluctant to accept their truth. Yet, life offers endless lessons, with teaching and learning moments woven into our experiences.

This year has placed me in the role of a student, urging me to release old narratives and painful pasts, including healing from childhood abuse and trauma, the loss of loved ones, and yes, even the purchase of a motorcycle and everything in between.

This has been one of the most challenging times of my life. Yet it has inspired me to strive for liberation from self-loathing, insecurities, toxic people, unrealistic expectations, comparisons to others, and obsessive worry over what lies beyond my control. I know I owe it to myself to embrace kindness and compassion. And so do you.

Every day, I am inspired to embrace the present and all it offers: a chance to begin anew. No matter how often I stumble on this journey of letting go, the present reminds me that I don’t have to remain anchored to yesterday or dwell on what tomorrow may bring.

I believe this opportunity is available for you as well. Each day, we can choose to hold on just a little longer or decide that today is the day we finally let go.

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