*Editor’s Note: Elephant Journal articles represent the personal views of the authors, and can not possibly reflect Elephant Journal as a whole. Disagree with an Op-Ed or opinion? We’re happy to share your experience here.

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“Nothing’s fine, I’m torn
I’m all out of faith, this is how I feel
I’m cold and I am shamed
Lying naked on the floor…” 
~ Natalie Imbruglia

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Anyone else out there feeling the way I do these days? Torn?

The song by Natalie Imbruglia rolls through my noggin’ on repeat. When it comes to our dwindling democracy, the “I’m all out of faith” line really hits home.

As a regular “non-millionaire or billionaire” American, I am most certainly torn between the chaos of what’s happening in Washington (the absolute dismantling of our democracy and the steady implementation of Project 2025) and just trying to live my life in a happy, fulfilling, vibrant way. Applying self-care boundaries, exploring fun activities, exercising regularly, and having an active, fun social life is the daily goal, is it not?

It’s an impossible goal though. Not with what’s going on in my country right now.

I feel powerless, to be honest. I protest, write my representatives, and rail against Fascism, but it feels like spinning wheels. It feels like an omnipotent train has left the station.

Those doing the Trump Autocracy bidding (Pete “Signal Chat Leak Department of War” Hegseth, Pam “There’s Nothing to See Here and I Won’t Answer Questions” Bondi, Robert “I’m Not a Doctor or a Scientist but I know in my Heart that Tylenol and Vaccinations Cause Autism” Kennedy Jr., and Kash “How the F Did I Get This Job” Patel) are steamrolling major changes in how our government works.

And hey, where’s Elon Musk these days? Let’s not even talk about Stephen Miller or Russell Vought, who in my opinion, are surely pulling all the levers.

“Don’t call us Fascists!” screams the GOP.

Okay, prove me wrong:

>>They’ve sold Dominion Voting Systems to Liberty Vote (which is run by a former Republican election official).

>>They’ve given Qatar an Air Force base on American soil.

>>They’ve bailed out Argentina with our tax money.

>>They’re aligning with Autocracy.

>>They’re pushing to sell public lands to the highest bidder.

>>They’ve implemented tariffs that do not benefit American consumers who in turn pay more for goods.

>>They’re pushing our journalists to the ground as they document atrocities.

>>They’re using propaganda and straight-up lies to sell a narrative.

>>They’re refusing to answer questions from our oversight committees.

>>They’re targeting, demonizing, and deporting immigrants without due process.

>>They’re attempting to send American Troops to U.S. cities that haven’t requested assistance.

>>They’re looking to activate the Insurrection Act.

>>They’re taking away reproductive rights.

>>They’re vilifying LGBQIA+ people.

>>They’re criminalizing homelessness.

>>They’re claiming Pro-Life, yet gut education and SNAP for the very children they “save.”

>>They’re hiding the Epstein Files and protecting pedophiles.

>>They’re seeking to destroy the Affordable Care Act, while offering nothing to replace it.

>>They’re refusing to swear in a duly elected official.

>>They’re blaming the government shutdown on Democrats when they are in control of all three branches.

>>They’re pepper spraying pastors in the face.

>>They’re paying ICE agents and exorbitant amount of money to brutalize people and break up families.

>>They’re having the DOJ indite those perceived as enemies, most recently Letitia James.

>>They’re vilifying Democrats, expanding the divide, routinely claiming that Democrats “hate” America.

>>They’re erasing actual history.

>> They’re clutching their pearls over one specific school shooting—that of Charlie Kirk.

Many in America have canonized Charlie Kirk, an open racist, bigot, misogynist, and homophobic lie spreader. Charlie was a Christian Nationalist and active bully debater who made up “alternative” facts to “take down” the arguments of college students. He was a podcaster who was headed in the direction and “entertainment” category as the vile Alex Jones.

On the other side of things, it has been a glorious fall in New England. Warm days filled with sunshine, cozy sweaters, lattes, pretty colors, and apple cider donuts. Nice, right? I’ve been trying to enjoy this most glorious fall. I’ve been painting excessively, staying cozy at home, baking and cooking, and cleaning out my clutter. Seriously, despite the backdrop of chaos, confusion, and hate mongering coming from Washington, I’ve been trying (like hell!) to simply live in a happy state, walking with my friends, battling the ravages of menopause, and staying peaceful in present moments.

What a f*cking cluster f*ck of contradictory emotions.

I’m unbearably torn between these two worlds. The one I want to savor, and the one I gasp at daily. The biggest question I have is: why do people support what’s currently happening? Why did farmers, for example, vote against their own best interests? Why did women embrace oppression? I can only conclude that there is a lot more harbored hatred in our country (internal and external) than I ever realized. And I do not live in a bubble.

To combat the “torn” feelings of hopelessness and despair in our every day existence, here are a few folks worth listening to and watching, in no particular order:

Jessica Knurick, PhD: She is a bad ass nutrition scientist who breaks down the MAHA movement and discusses food and nutrition in clips that offer to counter the narrative delivered by RFK Jr. Here’s the link to her website.

Pete Buttigieg: Love me some Pete! He’s calm, cool, and collected, and always the smartest person in the room. To me, he’s a voice of reason.

Jason Selvig: A political comedian worth watching for tension relief. We are not alone!

Jennifer Welch and Angie “Pumps” Sullivan: Their podcast, “I’ve Had It!’ is super informative and they put into words exactly how I feel. They’ve also coined the term “Cankles McTaco Tits” for Donald Trump, and while it’s not so nice name-calling, it is indeed a moniker I feel at a visceral level. I’ve Had It!

Dean Withers: Yes, he’s a punk “know-it-all,” whose delivery needs work, but the kid has chops and knows his stuff. He exposes hypocrisy and doesn’t make up statistics like Charlie Kirk did to win arguments.

Heather Cox Richardson: Her daily “Letters from an American” is the best source of information on the web, and contains insightful facts from a historical perspective that can’t be challenged. Newsletter Sign Up

Gavin Newsom: He’s a fighter, and everyone loves a fighter. He’s holding a mirror up to the nonsense President Trump puts forth on Social Media. He’s also in charge of one of the largest economies in the world.

Dr. Mary Claire Haver: She is the menopause resource. Period. The ‘Pause Life

Greta Thunberg: Swedish climate change activist.

Walter Masterson: Political Satirist who routinely questions and exposes the MAGA mindset.

James Talarico: A young Texas Democrat representing the working class worth watching!

Melanie Stansbury: Cornell Grad, US Representative—outspoken and always correct.

AOC & Jasmine Crockett: Democrat women who are literally fighting the good fight each and every day with words, facts, reason, and receipts.

Jimmy Kimmel, Stephen Colbert, and Jon Stewart: If you don’t know these three hosts, you’re missing out. Insightful, masterfully scripted, and eye-opening. We need them on TV.

Nothing’s fine, I’m torn. Do you feel the same way? I can’t wait for midterms. I think it’s our last, great hope to resurrect our democracy. I know Christians support a good resurrection, so we’ll see how it goes.

Except for the super-rich (who continue to benefit from this gifting administration), we are all cold, lying naked on the floor. Unless we rise up—in numbers too big to ignore.

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