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Me: Love and relationships are different.
Him: “So what do you want in a relationship then?”
Me: “Amidst many things, someone to build an empire with.”
Him: (Laughs) “You want Jay-Z?”
Me: “Not him specifically.”
Him: “You won’t find someone to build an empire with. You won’t find someone who meets all of your expectations.”
Me: “Not with that attitude I won’t.
And if I don’t, it doesn’t matter. I’m not searching for anyone.
I am completely happy by myself. I complete myself, I don’t need anyone.
Meeting someone to compliment me would be a divine gift in this beautiful mess of life. However, I have already imagined my future as the single, childless, crazy aunt and I am totally okay with that. I will totally rock that.
Which means I am consciously choosing not to settle on my expectations. If my ideal empire-builder does not exist right now that is okay. We will meet in another lifetime, another realm, another dream. I know that he will find me in physical form when we are both ready.
I know my empire-builder will teach me things I had no idea I needed to learn. Until then, I will be my own greatest teacher.
I will look to the stars, the moon, Mother Earth and nature as my role models. I will look to the great spirits—those in physical existence and those not—to help me live gracefully when experiencing energy, forces or concepts that are beyond my capacity to grasp. I will look to my friends, my family, my soul sisters and brothers. I will revel in their presence, revel in the rhythm of connection we dance to, revel in our shared beautiful mess of laughter and lessons learned.
I will look deep within. I will always return to my heart, to my soul, to my essence.
It is here I embrace the raw truth, the wild warrior, the free spirit. It is here I deeply acknowledge and let go of the painful paradoxical nature of this life. It is here I gain clarity of the inexplicable path that is mine to tread in this lifetime. It is here I honour the beauty of love. It is here I honour myself, for I know that all I ever need and will need, is already inside.
Him: (Left the table long ago)
~
Author: Tessa Alexa Stanford
Editor: Erin Lawson
Images: Flickr/Marco // Flickr/Tambako The Jaguar
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