We travel in the direction we are looking!

If you think about it, the past doesn’t exist. It has been and gone. We keep it alive with our memories.

We can take those memories and fixate on what didn’t work, what hurt, how we could have done it better. Or we can take those stories, learn from the experience and let it go or learn from the experience and rewrite the story to build us up.

I had a rather embarrassing and shameful memory of a night 13 years ago. It involves far too much alcohol, deceit and unfortunately some violence. It was not the best example of me.

For years, whenever I have reccounted this story I have tinted with a humorous filter, I would leave the ‘worst’ bits out as they would make me feel shame and guilt. I pointed the finger and blamed another for my behaviour.

The story I told depicted me as a victim.

Recently I found myself replaying this story once again, still from a humerous viewpoint but this time I told the whole story… Totally unedited. Even including the bit where I found myself sitting on the side of a road with no idea of where I was staying (it was the first night in a foreign country, in a town I didn’t know), covered in blood from a small mishap with a broken heal and a curb stone, and unfortunately sitting in a puddle of my own pee!! I did mention that a lot of alcohol had been consumed didn’t I? I was at an all time personal low.

Now this is the bit that has changed. Up until this point the story ended there. Leaving me with feelings of shame, embarrassment and guilt. What I had completely overlooked was what happened next.

I didn’t just sit there and wait for someone to come and rescue me. I picked myself up, called the one person I had met that day whose number I had for directions and I got myself home.

I had rescued myself! I was a warrior woman! I had been to war and I had survived. I had been determined, resilient and tenacious. No cheating man was or is ever going to keep me down.

I will admit, there are better ways of showing yourself how strong you really are, but this story now builds me up. No matter how hard or unpleasant it gets I can and will get myself out of it!!!

I have forgiven myself for this night, I have forgiven myself for ‘letting myself down’. I have let go of the shame.

The perspective with which we view our memories will either build us up or tear us down.

We have the power to choose what and how the story goes.

You just got to real eyes it!

It may not always be a pleasant one, but I bet something good did come from it… If it was your best friends story what silver lining would you find for them?