The achiever and the underachiever
The endless argument between the achiever and the achiever inside my brain causes me to feel stuck all the time, it is an internal conflict between the two coexisting feelings and the worst fight you can have is between you and yourself!
The achiever: There’s no reason to feel depressed.
The underachiever: Of course there is, I feel like I haven’t accomplished anything significant in my career as a dentist, and I am not even on the right path in life to accomplish anything.
The achiever: Look around you, compare yourself to other women in your same situation who are even older than you, you have done way more than you think you did, you should be thankful for every opportunity that led you to where you are now.
Maybe your problem is being ungrateful or unsatisfied but you are definitely not an underachiever.
The underachiever: You are right about feeling unsatisfied, but I don’t just compare myself to other women, I compare myself to some men who have accomplished way more than I did and who are now financially independent.
I don’t envy any of them, I just want to be like them.
The achiever: But you have to be more realistic, you still live in a world where patriarchy is still more dominant than feminism.
The underachiever: Maybe, but I don’t like blaming it on patriarchy, I have always been a go-getter and I don’t feel like that anymore.
The achiever: Because now your circle got bigger, it is the real world, you should give yourself some time and everything will fall in the right place at the right time and remember you are still in the transition period between studying and work.
The underachiever: But I am in my late twenties and I still don’t feel like I am taking control of my life.
This is the time when I should be the most energetic and the most creative version of myself, but instead, I feel like I am using only 10% of my potential and I don’t even know how to use the rest.
The achiever: Most women accomplish a lot in their thirties or even forties, you just need to stop rushing things.
Maybe you can start shifting your attention to other things in life that you are passionate about like writing or yoga, you can invest more time and energy on them and see, you can always have a double career the passion you are missing in dentistry you can find it in another thing, maybe then, you can feel that you achieved something, maybe passion should be always accompanied with the progress so you can feel the accomplishment!
And remember you have a great family, great friends, a loving and supportive fiancé, a kind of stable career so you just need to be positive and never give up.