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August 25, 2021

Phone Anxiety

Photo by Keenan Constance on Pexels.

“Hey, hope you’re well. Haven’t heard from you. Would love to talk.” 

 

I know you must be busy and I really don’t want to be a bother

And I sent you a text three days ago, should I really send another?

There are a thousand logical reasons that will explain your delay

But it feels like it’s my fault, although why I cannot say

I know you must be busy, and there’s so much on your mind

And I’m sure you’ll get to me when some free time you find

I know I’ve done nothing wrong, but is that really true?

I’m sure I can think of many ways that I have failed you

“Checking in again?” 

I know you must be busy, and of course, I understand

Don’t want to get in the way of anything you have planned

At work, running errands, and you haven’t had a break

Of course, I’m wondering if I have made a terrible mistake

I know you must be busy, I’m obsessive, annoying, weak

Clingy, oversensitive, the constant validation that I seek

So I’ll just assume that it’s my fault, and I deserve nothing more

How could anyone give attention to something so rotting at the core?

“Hey, call me if you’re free.” 

I know you are busy, and you have no idea how that I’m afraid

There are so many reasons, for your response to be delayed

Still, I rack my brains to wonder, why the sudden shun?

Am I stupid? Annoying? Crazy? Tell me what I’ve done!

I know you must be busy, so I shouldn’t spiral out

But even through breathing exercises, I am choked with doubt

Somehow I know, that it’s my fault, and that I am the one to blame

I’m sure you are disgusted by me and don’t even want to hear my name

“All okay?”

I know you must be busy ignoring me because I’m such a freak

So many have walked away, why should you be unique

I’d apologize, I promise, please don’t leave me in the dust

I’d give you anything, I’ll do anything, to regain your love and trust

I know you aren’t busy, you’re just wishing we had never met

I’m a worthless piece of garbage that you wish you could forget

I should be used to it by now, so why am I staring at my phone?

I’ve been abandoned so many times, I’m used to being alone

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