The recent spate of plane crashes around the country has people asking: “Is plane travel even safe anymore?”

People are talking openly about canceling upcoming flights, choosing to drive, take a train, bike, or even walk to avoid taking to the skies.

They are discussing things we should have been discussing for some time, too: the crazy number of planes in the sky in the same vicinity, too many close calls, and more recently, the increased pressure on a system that, especially now with the new administration slashing Federal Aviation Administration (FAA) jobs, really does seems like a house of cards waiting to collapse.

It seems we have a whole slew of new members in Club Flight Anxiety. Welcome! I empathize with what you are feeling and thinking.

I know the cold sensations when the plane seems to suddenly plunge. I know the sweaty palms, the inability to hold a conversation, the exhausting hours of being in a steady state of varying levels of fear.

I know how the imagination can create all kinds of terrifying scenarios: pilots being locked out of the cockpit for a hijacking, losing an engine over the ocean, lost visibility leading to hitting a mountain. It doesn’t help that some of these things have actually happened, so no one can calm me down by saying, “That would never happen.”

My flight anxiety began in 2014. Before that, I was just a regular flyer, lost in my books, enjoying the time in airplane mode. But after a stormy, turbulent flight alone in a foreign country where I was sure we were going down, it ramped up to a whole new level. If you’re waiting for me to say that now, over a decade later, I’ve found the formula for flying with ease again, I am sorry to disappoint.

No, these days, I have found that while I can sometimes relax, or even read a book and actually remember what I read, I get through my flights on endurance—an hour at a time, or even 15 minutes at a time if we’re in turbulence.

During my flight, I study those around me: the children, families, couples, and business people acting completely normal. I watch others on the plane when we hit turbulence, wondering if their palms, like mine, are getting sweaty. While some might find pilot interruptions annoying, I listen intently to that calm, knowing voice. I eavesdrop as the flight attendants talk about the plans they have for that evening, or what flights they have after this.

In other words, I take my cue from others. Because I don’t have inner calm or confidence, I channel theirs. Personally, this approach has worked better than any deep breathing or meditation.

But there has been progress. I no longer watch the flight number I’ll be taking for a week before, counting the number of safely completed flights. I no longer need to wear a hoodie and noise-canceling headphones and listen to Deepak Chopra’s calming voice the whole time. I no longer need to take a Xanax, although I generally do indulge in a glass of wine or two beforehand.

I’ve had dozens of conversations with my brother, who is an airplane mechanic. He tells me about the multiple redundancies and safeguards pilots have. Logically, he is right. And so are all the other people who have, over the years, given me logical reasons to not be afraid.

>> We take a greater risk every time we get in a car.

>> The pilots have hundreds, maybe even thousands, of hours of experience.

>> The turbulence we experience as passengers is nowhere near what they are capable of handling.

>> Even given these latest tragedies, air travel statistics are far and away in favor of us taking off and landing safely many times over. 

And yet, knowing this does not erase fear. Because anxiety does not respond to logic. It is, by nature, illogical and unreasonable. My anxiety is a bodily reflex—I get on a plane, we hit turbulence, my heart rate spikes.

And so, in a strange way, watching Club Flight Anxiety numbers skyrocket makes me feel…a bit more normal. Which is why I’m writing to tell you that, especially given recent events, what you are feeling and thinking is normal too.

Think about this. What’s more normal? A bunch of strangers crammed together in a metal tube going 500 miles per hour, casually doing crosswords and drinking wine? Or feeling our body respond to the claustrophobia, lack of control, and constantly changing weather patterns beneath our feet?

The thing is, there’s nothing anyone can say to assure us that we will be safe. There are no guarantees. There are tactics that can help, but I have found no magical cure.

So my goal is not to fly without fear, or conquer my anxiety. I have accepted that for me, flying will always come with some level of anxiousness. My goal is to fly despite it. And in the meantime, to create the best possible relationships with my loved ones, do my best work, step into my greatest power, and live aligned with my highest self so that if the worst does happen, I have lived my best life.

I want that for you, too.
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“I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it…The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.” ~ Nelson Mandela

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