July 30, 2010

Buddhist advice for children who are about to lose their temper & Punch Someone.

Do you lose your temper? Do I? Does your child? Of course—we all do. We forget to breathe, we can’t speak properly, we storm about stomping our temper tantrum-y feet.

Buddhist Advice on What to do if You’re about to Lose it + Start a Fight.

I don’t know about you, but I lose my temper once every few months, if only for a few minutes. But when it’s over I’ve hurt someone’s feelings and acted like a big silly idiot.

So I found this advice helpful. It’s from Buddhist teacher Chögyam Trungpa, who played a pivotal role in bringing Buddhism from Tibet to the West after the Chinese invasion. ~ ed.


Chogyam Trungpa Rinpoche:

If you’re about to have a fight, just flash [the feeling you have when you meditate], and then hold steady.

The idea of wanting to have a fight begins to dissolve, and, in turn, because of that, one begins to develop what is known as compassion. You begin to have more trust in yourself, less destructiveness in yourself, and less pain. And because you have less pain, therefore you’re able to communicate that to other people.

Working with oneself that way, in turn, you begin to work with others.

That seems to be the basic point of why you have to practice meditation.

~ Chögyam Trungpa, Rinpoche

(Click for photos and another great talk, this one for parents, on The Shambhala Times).


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Dolores Moody May 2, 2019 4:11pm

I snaped once….while it was happening at the same time I was actually watching myself, suddenly I realized i was not in control and dropped to the floor. Only for a moment I looked at my then husband then at my car keys and left to take care of myself. I did actually that, i went to my yoga studio and meditated. When I opened my eyes I felt my heart lock him out. Those string were removed, I cut the cord. We stayed friends. Shortly after that , 1 1/2 or so, he committed sucide. This was 11yrs ago. I have shared this with several people . Sue used the word harnessing that energy before it becomes a nightmare. Walk away. Thank you I hope this helps someone. I enjoyed Mr. Chogyam’s talk

Katie Tucker Apr 30, 2019 9:39am

Sharing this with my children. They are grown but this is good advice for anyone!

Sue Dec 3, 2015 5:20pm

I’m prone to anger when I feel taken for granted or advantage of….It is not an out burst as much as slow build up that once release won’t subside for a very long time. Another challange I have is there is alot of wisdom in the anger that may not have surrfaced with out it….so I have to learn to harness this great energy for the good of all concerned.

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