July 15, 2010

His Target: the Spiritually-Curious Female.

But first! A video via Waylon Lewis. More relephant videos at the bottom of this blog.


Wolves in Sheep’s clothing: men using spirituality and yoga and do-goodery to get laid. This article, 7 years old now, is newly relephant.

Lessons I learned from a spiritual d-bag.

via ele twitter: “Consider yourself warned: The Way of the Douchisattva http://bit.ly/cDMhh5 His target: The Spiritually Curious Female.”

Editor: “this is one of my favorite articles—a must-read for yoga women everywhere (and men, I guess). If you’ve ever met a sleazebag in sheep’s clothing (or a mala), read and consider sharing. Let this be a warning.”

Beware the Locust!

Several years ago I had the honor of meeting a young man who had the art of seducing young women down to a science! I take that back…not science…religion.

His target: The Spiritually Curious Female.

His modus operandi was quite brilliant, actually! First, he would find a young woman using his favorite social media. At the time, he preferred MySpace but I suppose any outlet would do. He would search women for signs of a female spiritual wanderer and send them a message. It would usually say something like, “For some reason I was drawn to you so I thought I would just say ‘hello.’ I think you are a beautiful person. Namaste.” No friend request at this time! If she took the bait, she would respond and offer up her friendship. Flirty, spiritual banter would ensue.

And now here’s the key! He would start hanging out not just with her, but with her girl friends. Being so “spiritual” made him “safe.” And they would sleep together. And little would she know that he was making his way through her group of friends. Once he had conquered the group, he would move on.

This is why I call him The Locust!

I learned a lot from The Locust and now, I would like to share with you bits of his teaching.

Things to say and what they mean:

The Locust has some prepared phrases in his arsenal and was never afraid to use them. I never had the pleasure of hearing them come from his mandibles, err, mouth, but here are some phrases he shared with some lovely ladies and their translations.

We have a profound spiritual connection and I think we need to express it by making love. (Let’s do it.)

Let’s not label what we have! Labels are false and once we label our relationship, we try to shape it into our pre-conceived notions. (I don’t want to be your boyfriend so that I can do what I’m doing without technically doing anything wrong.)

I think that we should keep our spiritual exchanges to ourselves. Your friends just aren’t as advanced spiritually and don’t share the connection that you and I have. I would hate to create such dissidence within our group. (I want to be able to do this to all of your friends so keep your trap shut.)

I have studied the Kama Sutra. (Let’s do it.)

Drugs totally open the door to spirituality. Take this. (Let’s get high and do it.)

I think it’s horrible the way that men have treated women in this society. In fact, women are so much stronger than men. In some ways, I envy you. (Introduce me to your friends so we can all do it.)

Things to do:

To keep from crossing the line into straight-up douchebaggery, there are a few things you must keep in mind.

Do not beef up! Do some push-ups and keep your body fat way down but under no circumstances should you be beefy.

Be very effeminate. Sure, regular d-bags primp and wear lip gloss but you have got to be ashamed of being a man. This is key.

Buy tons of drugs and have them on stock.

Read the latest new-age book and be ready to quote it.

Keep a copy of the Kama Sutra next to your bed.

Purchase the Ten Essential Items.

Now I realize that sharing this information can be quite dangerous should it fall into the hands of some nefarious ne’er-do-weller! This technique is very, very powerful and as Spiderman’s Uncle said, “With great power comes great responsibility.”

Relephant bonus:

More relephant videos:

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mdtexeira Sep 13, 2015 7:09am

Hmmm…is the locust lying to himself I wonder. Is the locust authentic and connected to their desires, or are they hiding from something through sexual contact? I can easily imagine two entirely different people who might appear the same from the outside but nevertheless have entirely different motivations. Is having sex with a bunch of women in any way wrong? I would say no. Is using dishonest tactics in order to have sex with a bunch of women who all know each other wrong? I'm not sure. I don't think right and wrong are generally useful concepts in situations like this. On a very basic level, the locust is biologically and socially adept. I mean, how many men DON'T in any way sculpt their lives and behaviors in order to be attractive to people they want to attract? Obviously, values play a role insofar as holding certain values changes one's tendencies. Let's say that locust doesn't believe in truth, or is flexible enough in their cognition to actually believe what they are saying. If that is the locust's present state and ability, has there been a transgression?

So here's some questions. To any of the women who've been with a locust…was it enjoyable? Do you regret it? Did you learn from it?

I seduced my wife. In the end, she was as involved in communicating and spelling out the boundaries that would become the foundation for any sexual relationship. She stated clearly what she wanted and needed, and I agreed, and I've lived up to it. If she had not been communicative and expressed and clarified what she needed, I would probably have slept around, because I love making love to women. It's not about conquering, and more than trying every item on a menu is about conquering a restaurant. It's about loving the different shapes, and smells, and tastes, and hearing the different sounds that women make in the height of passion. There is nothing wrong with that.

In the end, is the locust wrong? That depends upon their own values and whether they are congruent and living with integrity. Meanwhile, we all must live with our choices, and take responsibility for our reactions.

Melina Sep 12, 2015 7:58pm

This reminds me of some of the odd attempts at seducing I have encountered. There was the older man at dance home who was eyeing me the whole time I danced. After the party was winding down he talked to me about "spiritual" subjects I was unfamiliar with to try and wow me. He spoke to me about the enneagram and told me which type he guessed I was, which interestingly was a very "sensual" type, just like him. 😉 Now was the opportunity to start trying to talk about "sensual" topics with me. Oh dear, I was naïve and listened until eventually he was saying how he was going home to listen to music with wine and inquired if I wanted to come. Yeah, I was not that naïve-I turned him down. I had another guy who was my childhood best friend's waldorf teacher ask me at dance home if I was over 18 (this was after my dad had introduced him to me so I didn't catch on at first that there was a reason he was asking me. I figured that since my dad introduced me to him that he wouldn't try and hit on me- think again). He then talked about how he loved sensual artwork and wanted to see my artwork. I said that would be cool and invited him over to see my art. Oops, he thought it was a date and my boyfriend showed up half way through. He brought his artwork that had naked women with hopes of painting me. I had a moment of realizing, oh, I am not that clued in. Whoops. Or the guy I talked to on Pearl street who started to talk to me about he loved to dance naked when I told him I liked to dance. He suggested that I try it with him. Needless to say, I didn't jump on the offer. Then there was that guy online that was a master seducer and I fell for him hard. I am trying to break the spell unsuccessfully. 😉 He has hoards of females that follow him online. But, I think he may have not gotten what he bargained for, he seems to have tender loving feelings for me unexpectedly (my guess).

Ryan Oct 25, 2013 1:39am

A spiritualist is a person who talks to the deceased and channels those that have passed on. I don't think you were referring to someone who does that in your Facebook post. Otherwise, this form of spiritual fakery as a means of seducing someone is not so uncommon. Woman will do the same to men sometimes., under the guise of being a spiritual muse.

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Blake Wilson

Blake is a law librarian and a member of the Kwan Um School of Zen, sitting with the Kansas Zen Center in Lawrence, Kansas. Blake is way into g33k culture which, as he sees it, easily includes Zen, and is willing to share with you his struggles and observations. You can find him on Facebook, Twitter, and kansaszencenter.org.