Ass Anonymous.

Via Ella Lauser
on Oct 5, 2010
get elephant's newsletter

Unknowingly we are all pygoscopiacs (lovers of the butt), chasing some tail!

This article is shared via Ella Lauser who has her own site Go Ask Ella– full of informative healthy communication on sexuality and all that it encompasses. This article was previously published in South Korea’s Bling Magazine.


Isn’t that what it really is? The ass lurks behind us for everyone else to enjoy, anonymously and in turn making the owner of the ass anonymous.

“What’s in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet.”

~ William Shakespeare, Romeo and Juliet (II, ii, 1-2)

And the sweet, sweet derrière does indeed not need a name to be known although it has the most nicknames than any other body part. Isn’t it funny what a conversation or observation of the bum entails and I emphasize tails.

Why are we so obsessed with this particular asset?  The anatomy of love, the anatomy of desire stems from a plethora of understandings—be they cultural (culo-ture as some friends like to say in Italy), biological, sexual, psychological, societal, et cetera.

We don’t think about it enough yet we acknowledge and appreciate it constantly, the “why?’ rarely finds itself among our thoughts.

Baby Got Back?

Curves denote sexual availability, the ability to procreate and they are often deemed provocative. The most provocative piece, the booty, has been buttoned up and shielded outside of punishment or intimate affairs for centuries. Shame lies in the baring of the rump as it unabashedly makes us aware of the fact that we are human, part of the animal existence that shits, eats, sleeps and yes, fucks. Oh no, let’s hide behind the fact that we are civilized—we are far from dogs in heat and baboons with blushing behinds. Are we really though?

Our fascination with the body is what keeps us upping the population, in all facets.  We are programmed to be appreciative and aware when selecting our mates. The majority of the animal kingdom has some way of parading around their aesthetically pleasing parts. We just get to choose how we accentuate—be it with a salsa dance or a killer pair of jeans.

I hear mention of phallic symbols everywhere but I argue that we are far more anal (and not just anal retentive) than we realize.  Are we so far off from our ancestors? According to R. Dale Guthrie’s The Nature of Paleolithic Art, “ the kinds of imagery that form the typical genre of erotica today seem to have equivalents in Paleolithic art.” Cavemen were drawing conclusions and sculpting the very things Hugh Hefner (the papa of Playboy) celebrates.

Not Far From Our Cousins.

The erotic positions that burn images in our minds are directly linked to certain hot spots and the glorious moon that resides on our backside is just a little out of reach from the “pure purpose” of sex, albeit a friendly cousin.  Primates know when it’s best to tap their partner because they keep a close eye on the badonka-donk that will indeed swell at the right time of the month.  It is no wonder that guys don’t fall far from the tree of gorillas, chimpanzees and baboons—roots dip deep.

And let’s just honor the lovely and lasting impression of lumbar lordosis, a position used by the majority of mammals, which is the position “used by females to raise the rear, emphasizing the visual aspect of genitalia and facilitating male intromission. Lordosis is the female primate posture of sexual invitation.” Hmm, and most think this stemmed more from the dogs and their style.

Our imagination is often the most fertile ground we rest upon and it could be argued that the fantasy and mystery of what is seen and not seen leaves a trace behind us.

Urges don’t live in the mind, they live and prosper elsewhere that’s why we rarely ponder where these knee jerk reactions come from—we’re not thinking about them, we’re just responding.

And for the record, all you “tit” men out there—it’s argued that tits were made to resemble the butt.

Look it up!


About Ella Lauser

Ella Lauser is a new paradigm sexual health, spiritual growth and wellness coach but more importantly, she’s the sister you probably never had. When she’s not nose-deep in holistic medicine or sex ed research, she’s baking muffins, re-watching Amelie for the umpteenth time, doula-ing (supporting women in birth), on her yoga mat listening to Bon Iver or answering questions from around the world about the “things we don’t talk about but should.” Ella is available to support individuals and couples in one-on-one wellness coaching sessions via skype, phone and in person (if you’re located in/near Los Angeles or San Francisco) and is also available for inspirational lectures. She answers questions and post hot topics regularly on her site. Visit her website Go Ask Ella or email her at goaskella at gmail dot com.


9 Responses to “Ass Anonymous.”

  1. Aurora says:

    I had no idea, "Lordosis is the female primate posture of sexual invitation." Very interesting. I love your topics, Ella:)

  2. poppymama says:

    My perception tends to be similar to Adenia's. And yes, I did read the article. But I would add that, funny and fun as the article might be – and it is – it's not what immediately comes to mind when I seek enlightenment. Going back to perception, my perception these days is that EJ often seems more like a T&A magazine in skimpy yoga clothes. While it may be quite true that there have been other articles on a variety of deep and enlightening topics, it's the bevy of babes that has stayed in my mind. And that's…well… not really the kind of enlightenment I seek.

  3. AMO says:

    It is always amazing to me how upset people get if you mention human sexuality. Why is that? I have over 3000 FB followers and I will lose 1-5 every time, guaranteed, I use the word VAGINA. Seriously. Sometimes, I just post the word repeated liberally on my page to get rid of bad energy. Vaginavaginavagina.

    How could this article upset anyone? Why is it, as "Adenia" tweeted, "degrading" to talk about the body, sexuality and desire in an honest and informative way? How sensitive are you really sister? I must say you couldn't possibly be any fun in bed if just a discussion about butts gets you this uptight. Maybe you really just need to get laid…

  4. Rebecca says:

    Posts like this definitely have me raising my eyebrows, but its also rather refreshing to see someone with a sense of humor about sex, which is generally treated as taboo and not for civilized conversation! Well done, Ella!

  5. […] apartment or house for a year and still don’t know your neighbors? Bake something and get your booty over […]

  6. […] pins and needles. Even if your foot goes numb. Even if you get an unbearable itch under your right butt cheek. Do not […]

  7. sara says:

    I think it depends on your ability to speak freely about anything that is not patently violent. Talking about butts, vaginas, etc….should be part of healthy discussion in any enlightened society.

  8. Amelia says:

    I will admit that I clicked the link because I saw an ass. And I just love 'em. I'm kind of a sucker. They are sooo beautiful. I am a spiritual animal learning to release guilt and embrace all the yumminess of love and acceptance, and that includes butts! Oh, booties <3

  9. vivies says:

    I agree with you with you, but the last sentence is completely unnecessary. I found it mean and you lost me…..