The Three Keys.

Via Tobye Hillier
on Nov 29, 2010
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A while back I learnt a powerful technique called “The 3 Keys” that I’d like to share. They really have helped me to evolve and be happier in my relationships with people.

  1. Always speak your truth


We have this tendency to lie to people because “we don’t want to hurt their feelings” but this attitude is almost always completely wrong. We generally lie to people in this way because, actually we don’t want to affect the way people see us. We don’t want to be seen in a bad light.

Not speaking your truth can lead to all sorts of pain and heartbreak, for yourself and for others in the long run. We can’t control the way others think and feel. All we can do is be aware of our own truth and speak it.

2.    Create boundaries around unfair treatment.


If people upset you, then some introspection is required to find out why it is they have upset you. A lot of the time the upset is based in a past experience. The person that has upset you has only rekindled that pain, it isn’t their fault and blaming them or getting angry with them won’t solve the problem. When you become aware of your own story, you can then put boundaries in place and your relationships will become happier.

3. Oxygen mask.


When you’re on a plane and the hostess goes through the safety routine, she asks you to put your mask on first before helping anyone else. There’s not much point in helping another only to find yourself suffocating from lack of oxygen.

Make sure that you meet your needs first before trying to meet the needs of others, otherwise you’ll burn out.

A good example is the boss that asks you to work late all the time and you stay behind to please him because you wish to be seen in a good light, meanwhile your personal relationships outside of work with family and loved ones suffer. People won’t respect you if you don’t learn to stand up for yourself.

I found that the three keys intertwine with each other and that anytime I’m tired, upset, or someone has hurt my feelings, it’s because I’ve forgotten about the three keys.

When I go back to them and make sure that I use them, all things work out and I find my center again!

Thank you Hardgainer on for the picture.


About Tobye Hillier

Originally from England, Tobye Hillier has lived in Ireland for over 17 years, living in a small seaside town called Greystones 20 miles south of Dublin. A qualified Karuna yoga teacher (RYT 500), Tobye also plays a pretty darn funky 5-string bass guitar and likes to sing in other peoples' showers. Empathic and intuitive, He likes to bend Yoga to suit people and not the other way around.


2 Responses to “The Three Keys.”

  1. yogi tobye says:

    They do really work Helene… completely changed the way I see things!

  2. Ben_Ralston says:

    I would make a very clear distinction between awareness of truth and expression of truth.
    We all have different levels of awareness. Speaking your truth can be extremely hurtful to another person on a different level of awareness. Sometimes, often-times, it is better to hold your tongue.
    It is enough to be aware inwardly of the truth. It is not always necessary to speak it.