November 22, 2010

Zen and the mustache.

You say enlightenment, I say mustache!

Zen rides: $1!

On October 30th, I took the plunge and removed my beard. It was for a Halloween costume where I portrayed a Steampunk aeronaut. But then I decided to continue wearing this wonderfully nerve-racking piece of awesomeness on my upper lip. I signed up to participate in Movember even though I knew that the rules explicitly stated that the participant’s face must be completely clean-shaven on November 1st. I figured that since this is for charity, this minor infarction could be overlooked.

I never realized the impact a mustache would have. The jokes, the awkward feelings, the eventual awesomeness and finally the okay-idness of it all.

So allow me to share with you:

How to obtain your true nature in one, short month!

1. In search of the mustache.

The mustache has been under your nose this whole time but you can’t see it. You know there’s something bad ass you can do with your facial hair but what? You have this awesome beard and know that you can do something epic without looking like one of the guys from that D**** in a Box video.


2. Discovering the mustache.

Facial hair abounds but there is one peace of fuzz that catches your eye. Some bad-ass looking guys are  sporting a mustaches. Perhaps it’s time you went after one of your own.

3. Perceiving the mustache.

Now you see it. There. Within that beard! Your upper lip is shagged like 70’s carpeting. It is full and it is good.

4. Catching the mustache.

Clippers and a razor and all but your upper lip is now nude. All of this after a nice, hot shower to soften up your whiskers.

5. Taming the mustache.

The mustache is rough. There are wild hairs and a lack of symmetry. What kind of mustache should this be? What looks best with your face? Some scissors and mustache wax will help tame the beast.

6. Riding the mustache.

Now you head out, caterpillar-lipped and a little uneasy. You are aware that it’s there and you might feel a bit awkward. Some people love it and some people, not-so-much. You constantly check it in the mirror and make sure it looks okay.

7. The mustache transcended.

Eventually, you forget about the mustache. When someone looks at you and says, “Wow, Mario! How’s the Princess?”, it takes you a minute to realize that they are referencing your ‘stache.

8. Both mustache and self transcended.

Everyone who knew you before the mustache is over the shock of seeing your cookie duster. People you meet only know you with the ‘stache. And you haven’t really given it much thought for a while. Although you do still make sure it’s nice and trim. Practice is key!

9. Reaching the source.

So this is it. You have a mustache. Things go on. Maybe you’ll shave it or maybe you won’t. It just kind of depends. But the important thing is you grew your mustache and growing and knowing is better than nothing!

10. In the world.

And so it goes.

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