In Defense of “Making Love.”

Via Waylon Lewis
on Aug 29, 2011
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There’s no rush. There’s no commute (unless you’re going to his/her place). Take your time. Work it up. Have a conversation while you’re at it. Have two or three different conversations. Shift. Pause. Move around. Go at it. Go slow. Shut up, enjoy the silence. Fall back. Keep going. Get going. Sing together. Good god. And, Jesus H. Christ! Good god! Oh. Yes.

A girl dash friend of mine and her girl dash friend, don’t remember who, were making fun of “making love” this summer. “It’s so sleazy or skeazy, you don’t remember what we said, Waylon,” they said.

“Nooooo…” I disagreed, feeling as if I was defending veganism to a bunch of suburbanites, mid-turkey-sandwich. So I pulled out the mom card, risking any Oedipedal downsides. “My mom always called it ‘making love,'” I pointed out.

The two girls looked at each other, as if checking to see if the other was feeling the same 4.3 earthquake tremor. They nodded at each other, once each. “Well, in that case, it’s different. It’s okay.”

“It’s when men say it.”

Well, I hear you. Hearing a the Situation say “I want to make love to you” would make me queasy. Soooo…it took me six months to come up with a comeback, but here it is. Men can’t say “make love” without being tacky or sleazy?

“I think that making love is the best form of exercise.”

Cary Grant said it.

40, Love. Point and match.
Further Relephant Instruction:

“The Most Erotic Kiss in Movie History”—censors would only allow three seconds, and it was all done in one take, with a camera and crew and track…masters of intimacy and details at “work.”


About Waylon Lewis

Waylon Lewis, founder of elephant magazine, now & host of Walk the Talk Show with Waylon Lewis, is a 1st generation American Buddhist “Dharma Brat." Voted #1 in U.S. on twitter for #green two years running, Changemaker & Eco Ambassador by Treehugger, Green Hero by Discovery’s Planet Green, Best (!) Shameless Self-Promoter at Westword's Web Awards, Prominent Buddhist by Shambhala Sun, & 100 Most Influential People in Health & Fitness 2011 by "Greatist", Waylon is a mediocre climber, lazy yogi, 365-day bicycle commuter & best friend to Redford (his rescue hound). His aim: to bring the good news re: "the mindful life" beyond the choir & to all those who didn't know they gave a care. | His first book, Things I would like to do with You, is now available.


15 Responses to “In Defense of “Making Love.””

  1. Becky says:

    Haha too funny, well I think the best of both worlds: I love calling it making love, and it is one of the best forms of exercise .

  2. Brilliant. Love Cary Grant…and "making love" is definitely preferable to many other things it's been called. Of course, now I will be forced to forgo getting anything useful done this evening and watch "An Affair to Remember" or "North by Northwest" instead!

  3. […] Make love: with a friend, or with your best […]

  4. Sherri Rosen says:

    Making love and fucking are two different sports. The making love is taking care of one another. The fucking is just that and or getting your rocks off

  5. Becky says:

    I honestly have felt it was making love and good exercise. I'm indifferent now. What if it's all overrated.

  6. tridentgirl says:

    I would stop in the middle of on coming traffic like a deer caught in headlights and then begin to purr deeply like a kitten if a man (presumably a man I were in love with) were to tell me with absolute certainty that he wanted to make love to me.

  7. as long as making love is what they want then it's good — but if they want to fuck and say making love it's creepy — it's all intention!

  8. […] liquid meditation. If you are making love, you better not be anywhere near that damn iPhone, please, for the love of Cary Grant and all that is sacred—just be […]

  9. […] Make love/have sex with someone you care about. Filling a gap through sexual acting out is only a temporary solution that will ultimately only […]

  10. […] let’s be clear here, we aren’t talking lovemaking. We are using a word we connote with violence. We are using a word that means you are taking […]

  11. […] Bonus: In Defense of “Making Love.” […]

  12. […] love sex; it’s an amazing part of being alive. It’s a fleeting thing, in the best, melting ice cream cone, passing spring rain shower sort of […]

  13. then there's making love and getting your brains fucked out at the same time, a colliding of spiritual intimacy and animal urgency, a mind-body plateau of connectedness and you don't know if it was more physical or more spiritual because you are wrapped up in the individual moment second by second, breath by breath, swinging between the abstract and concrete on a trapeze of lust and love…i just told a man recently that i wanted him to make love to me…and he did and i love those words, i enjoy saying it, i enjoy asking for it, i enjoy doing it…shoot, now i want to get off my computer and go find the most beautiful boy i can find and tell him i want to make love with him!

  14. andeejo says:

    it's true, you do win… but honestly… i think it totally depends on the intent behind the words no matter what words they are. and personally,… i mean, if i'm actually going to comment on this (since i read it ages ago, but i love cary grant so heck, why not revisit when things re-pop up on fb)… i'd rather not name it anything most of the time. … there are some things that are not describable in words 🙂