Why I’m a Gay-friendly pastor: World AIDS Day.

Via Roger Wolsey
on Dec 1, 2011
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I’m a man of the cloth. I wear a robe.

As an ordained United Methodist pastor, I sometimes wear a robe when I preach and lead worship. Okay, I don’t wear it all that often any more now that I’m doing campus ministry (mostly wear jeans and one of those hip short sleeve shirts tucked out), but I do still wear it several times a year when I perform weddings or guest preach at area churches. But it’s not just any robe. It used to be Ron’s.

I grew up in St. Paul, MN and attended Hamline UMC (United Methodist Church). A woman named Beryl Hillstrom was the director of Christian education. She had a son named Ron who was a few years older than me.

Eventually, I attended the Iliff School of Theology in Denver, CO. The year I arrived there, the majority of that student body were active in the “Vote NO on 2!” campaign to try to sway Colorado voters to not vote for an amendment to their State Constitution which would have legalized discrimination against gay and lesbian citizens. I learned quickly about those matters and was soon swayed to become pro-LGBTQI … but primarily on a heady, intellectual level.

It wasn’t until I was ordained after earning my Masters of Divinity degree that I came to own that pro-gay stance on a more heart-felt level. Before the ordination service took place, Beryl gave me a present — the clergy robe worn by her son Ron when he was a pastor.

I learned that her son had also become an ordained United Methodist pastor and that he ended up in ministry in Colorado like me. I also learned that he had been forced out of his ministry due to his being gay. And, I learned that he died of AIDS. I was being given the gift of wearing the robe that had been worn by an oppressed gay man who died of AIDS.

Sadly, not every Christian pastor would appreciate such a gift, let alone want to wear it.  I told her thank you and tears flowed from my eyes as I donned that heavy vestment. It turns out that Ron was exactly the same size as me. We were both white Minnesota boys who were United Methodist Christians and who had decided to respond to God’s calling to devote our lives to ministries of love and service. The only difference between us was in who we were oriented to love romantically.

All at once, all of the intellectual, biblical, and theological discoveries that I had made to sway me to adopt a pro-Gay stance … fell like leaves on a windy November day. I got it. Indeed, it got me. The ominous power of that robe’s story and heritage adopted me into it’s story. It would be hypocritical for me to wear that robe and to preach any message other than compassion, inclusion, and God’s radical grace and love. To the extent that I’m in any way loving toward people who don’t happen to be straight, to the extent that I am comfortable giving hugs to people with HIV or AIDS, to the extent that I am an advocate for LGBTQI persons, to the extent that I give a damn about the 8,000 people who die from AIDS every day and the children who are orphaned because of it… that robe gets a lot of the credit.

On this World AIDS Day I hereby rededicate myself to my commitment to love; reaffirm my vows to do justice to Ron’s legacy; and to seek to ensure that all people who encounter me in that robe (and even when I’m not wearing it) – experience love, love for them, love for the oppressed, and love for God’s justice and peace.

Thank you Ron. I never really knew you, but I know your heart. It’s the heart of Jesus, and I promise to do my best to help work toward a world where all of God’s people are loved and accepted.

your brother in the cloth,


p.s. To learn more about how Christian churches are rising up to the plate to make a difference in the world by calling attention to AIDS and seeking to create a world free of it, check out The Center for Church & Global AIDS; WORLD AIDS DAY

To learn more about why Christians should accept and welcome homosexuality see: Walter Wink;  Mel White;  Confessions of a Former Sodomite Reconciling Ministries Network; — oh, and be sure to read up on what Jesus had to say about homosexuality. ; )

Roger is the author of Kissing Fish: christianity for people who don’t like christianity and he is an active member of The Christian Left Facebook page.


About Roger Wolsey

Roger Wolsey is a free-spirited GenX-er who thinks and feels a lot about God and Jesus. He’s a progressive Christian who identifies with people who consider themselves as being “spiritual but not religious.” He came of age during the “Minneapolis sound” era and enjoyed seeing The Replacements, The Jayhawks, Husker Du, The Wallets, Trip Shakespeare, Prince, and Soul Asylum in concert—leading to strong musical influences to his theology. He earned his Masters of Divinity degree at the Iliff School of Theology in Denver, CO. Roger is an ordained pastor in the United Methodist Church and he currently serves as the director of the Wesley Foundation campus ministry at C.U. in Boulder, CO. He was married for ten years, divorced in 2005 and now co-parents a delightful 10-year old son. Roger loves live music, hosting house concerts, rock-climbing, yoga, centering prayer, trail-running with his dog Kingdom, dancing, camping, riding his motorcycle, blogging, and playing his trumpet in ska bands and music projects. He's recently written a book Kissing Fish: christianity for people who don't like christianity


11 Responses to “Why I’m a Gay-friendly pastor: World AIDS Day.”

  1. Jessica says:

    Thank you for wrote this, Roger..
    Nice to meet you..

    Best regards from Jakarta 🙂

  2. Rachael says:

    This is beautiful!! I also love your bio! I earned my MDiv at Candler, married a UM pastor, and identify myself as a progressive Christian….but i almost wept with joy to see that you play ska!! your blog has a new fan! 🙂 🙂 🙂

  3. Roger Wolsey says:

    I'm thrilled that so many people are liking this blog of mine and sharing it with others! Bless you!
    World AIDS Day falls within the season of Advent. Click here to see a poetic reflection I wrote for Advent 2011: http://www.elephantjournal.com/2011/11/adventus-a

  4. Nicole says:

    Thank you Roger for your loving witness. My first youth minister died from AIDS. Today especially I am thankful for his impact and his witness to Christ's love. I also remember how his partner loved and cared for him when he was so ill, and even though the state made no recognition of their relationship, I saw "for better or worse and in sickness and in health" in action. Thank you again for sharing.

  5. Even though the Christian paradigm didn't feel like a good fit for me, it encourages me to see people within the Church who embrace the gay community! May more people be like you and see that this is "what Jesus would do" rather than strike out with fear and hate. Thank you!

  6. […] in Denver, CO. The year I arrived there, the majority of that student body were active in the “Vote NO on 2!” campaign to try to sway Colorado voters to not vote for an amendment to their State […]

  7. Amber says:

    I loved this; thank you. As a person who has left her religion, this gives me hope seeing that there are real Christians out there. Definitely going to check out your book.

  8. ananda says:

    Thank you for this wonderful post, Roger. I have enjoyed all of your articles – this one especially. I lost many friends to AIDS in the 80's, and I connected with each one of them while reading your words. Bless You.

  9. […] I was thrilled to dress in male-drag. I have suits that I rarely wear anymore, and doing drag makeup for both genders is a specialty of mine. Not only was it really fun to participate in such an interesting social experiment, it really made my heart sing that a Christian community not only tolerates their gender-alternative congregation members, but celebrates and embraces them for exactly who they are. […]

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