January 11, 2012

Give Me Some Bad Advice.

It’s great to be good, but I don’t want to become one of those people.






You know the type. They love to tell you all the wonderfully healthy and noble things they do. Since I’m going vegan with Waylon, and Jessica Durivage has talked me into 40 days of yoga, I’m a little worried I might be getting too darn squeaky clean to be likeable.

I’m vegan, love to exercise and be active. Tried smoking some interesting stuff when I was young and invincible, but gave that up a long time ago. Rarely drink, and usually have one glass of wine,  maybe two. Don’t swear much. Always floss. Rarely watch television. Meditate daily. Give to charities and causes I believe in with my time and money. Hmph. It might be time for a new vice.

So help me out. Here are my current vices:

1. I drink too much coffee. I drink two mugs a day. The mug is about the size of my head. To be fair, though, I don’t usually finish them both.

2. I do spend a lot of time on Facebook and Twitter. Since my goal there is generally to network and find ways to be of benefit to others, I’m not sure if that counts as a vice.

3. I chew on my pens.

4. I hate putting laundry away and avoid it when I can.

5. Ummm….

Yeah. Lame.

I posed the question to my friends on Facebook and received 46 comments! Apparently everyone else thinks I need a vice as well.

Here are a few of the suggestions:

1. Flash people your “cupcakes” while driving. (Hmmm…seems dangerous.)

2. Crystal meth, snuff porn, and reality television. (Reality TV is appalling.)

3. Swearing more. (Maybe. We’ll see what you mothereffers suggest first.)

4. Stop shaving armpits. (I’m sure Eve Ensler will probably excommunicate me from the feminists for saying it, but I like to be clean shaven. Not obsessive about it. It’s just what I like. So there.)

5. Start reading Harlequin romance novels. (Yeah, right up there with Reality TV)

6. Start reading gossip magazines. (I don’t buy print mags much no matter what the topic. Just not that eco, and so much good content online. I can even get The New Yorker on my Nook now.)

7. Lots of suggestions that I drink more, smoke pot, smoke crack, become a drug dealer etc. (Perhaps people would like to see me relax a bit more.)

8.  Stop flossing. (That’s a big no. Ick.)

9. Acquire an annoying tapping, pen-clicking or similar habit.

10. There was some mention of vegan chocolate cake. (Which would be nice right about now…)


So what do you say? What’s your favorite (legal) vice and why should I take it up for 30 days?



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