4.8
January 5, 2012

“Why Women Date Assh****s?” Why We All Date Assh****s. {NSFW language}

Be interesting.

This gent (below video) is talking about women dating assh****s, but that’s too easy.

A lot of men talk about getting “friendzoned”…falling for that beautiful mysterious elusive lady who never returns your calls but keeps you on the hook…same thing. We want them even though they’re bad to us and take us for granted and make us miserable. We want them because they’re bad to us and take us for granted and make us miserable. So let’s just acknowledge that while there are differences in gender and dating balances, we’ve all got our issues, we’re all human, and you can take from the below anything that inspires your experience.

For me, I like the first part: learn from every breakup. Don’t blame the other, just learn from it.

“Three reasons why assholes win over “nice guys” 9 times out of 10.

Facebook me! http://www.facebook.com/mikefalzone

Great Reddit comment that I read after posting the above, so it’s a bit redundant but more eloquent:

What goes missing here is that men date assholes too. How many male friends have you had throughout the years who had a girlfriend who was shit to them, shit to you, your mutual friends, your friend’s family, demanding, whiny, stupid, loud, obnoxious, cheated, pretended to cheat, played games with your friend’s emotions, etc? There are a lot of women out there who are assholes and a lot of men who will deal with bitchy, stupid, ridiculous, unnecessarily crazy behavior just because they are used to it, the girl is hotter than they thought they could get, they are afraid to be alone or just want to get their dick wet regularly.

I honestly don’t know what having multiple relationships is like, I’ve had one long term girlfriend in my life and all of the previous girls I went out with only lasted 2-3 dates max before I decided they weren’t worth the effort for various reasons, usually something on the list I made above. The real problem here is that people don’t know what they want, they don’t really think they deserve much and they aren’t willing to keep trying and failing just to find someone great instead of just working it out with someone who is ok.

Also:

I hate this popular and largely incorrect generalization. No one likes asshole behavior. When I was younger I dated an asshole and it made me feel terrible when he put me down or embarrassed me by acting like a jackass in public, but I put up with it because I was insecure, lonely, and inexperienced. Most other women I know who dated guys who did similarly assholish things were either in the same situation or simply suffering through that behavior because they liked other qualities about these men. Also, assholes are often confident enough to hit on women that other men wouldn’t, and so they often get the girl that other guys are too intimidated to ask out by default, which makes men feel like they get better looking or more women than meek men.

I agree that some people may interpret asshole behavior as “alpha” and therefore somewhat sexy, but not the majority of women by any stretch. If a woman is dating a guy that acts like an asshole, she’s most likely overlooking the behavior for some reason, not condoning it.

And:

Right on. I heard a story on NPR this week where inner-city teenage girls were interviewed at a Chris Brown concert in Baltimore. All of them knew that he beat Rhianna, but either didn’t mind, blamed her, or both. One even said he was a “model for how they want their boyfriends to be.” Ugh.

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