2.9
February 9, 2012

The Loneliness of Meditation. ~ Sheila Singh

Yaniv Golan

My meditation has been an interesting place for me.

After more than six months of consistent practice, my meditation has become an almost lonely place of self observation. I watch as various thoughts fire off, one at a time. And each time I return back to my breath. Trying not to judge, to anticipate, to linger. Just returning to the breath.

Truth be told, at times it has gotten a bit dull.

But what I have found is that this practice of mindful self-observation has ultimately brought me greater insights in my day, in my life. I notice when I am reacting stubbornly from a place of ego with my husband. I watch when I am less than compassionate with my kids. I feel when my heart goes out to the homeless lady I see most mornings on my drive out.

At times, this dull and lonely meditation practice has, in fact, awakened my experiences in a more vivid way. It allows me to know my nature more intimately and to know how my nature is relating to everything and everyone around me. Sure it’s not a pretty picture often. Actually far from perfect, but that’s fine. It is what it is.

What I have found is that this deeper self understanding is a place from which organic change can arise. Where I can catch myself when I am not the version of who I want to be. And the more I actually awaken to it, the more opportunity I have to initiate small changes.

The dullness becomes vibrant. The imperfections become the perfect space for me to see where there is still room for change…still room for me to become the compassionate and connected person I want to be.

Over time, the challenges bring understanding and the joys bring just that — real joy. Meditation has been the place of calm where I can carry the fire, the fire of difficulty and the fire of inspiration. It serves both evenly. It allows me to turn toward both a little more equally.

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Sheila Singh is inspired by many traditions of yoga and sees her yoga mat as a place for her to let go and drop into her body and mind and ultimately open into spirit. She hopes to hold a space for students to do the same. Sheila views the practice as a mindful dance between breath, movement and drishti. Sheila loves that yoga is truly a philosophy on how to lead your life with a greater sense of awareness and intention. It goes beyond the physical practice and helps to guide practitioners in every aspect of life. For Sheila, her yoga practice has enabled her to remain true to herself and embody a deep sense of awareness, acceptance and love through everything that life brings her way.Most importantly Sheila continues to be a student and is inspired by the wonderful community of teachers in Austin. When she is not practicing yoga, Sheila loves spending time with her two girls, her husband and beautiful circle of friends. www.sheilasingh.com

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