April 30, 2012

Am I Falling Out of Love? ~ Tyler Stroebel


Hello elephant journal! It’s me, Tyler, your soulful advice columnist.

Here is a question I received about love, moving forward, fear and guilt:

“I began my asana seven months ago, and it has opened my heart and idea of possibility for me. I am a totally changed person now. I don’t feel any emotion towards my husband anymore and feel guilty about it. But at the same time, I feel calm. Is it possible to fall out of love with my mate? I am trying my best to listen to my heart, and it is very easy to get stuck to my voice of fear of letting go.” 

It sounds like you have been on an amazing journey. Regardless of whether your husband and you remain married (because, of course, I have no insight into your marriage), the relationship you have had thus far has been an intimate one, intimate in that at one time the two of you chose to spend your lives together.

The fact that you are completely void of emotion toward him and have an open heart in your personal process actually feels quite powerful to me. I find that I tend to project my “stuff” onto the people who are closest to me, my husband being one of them.

Your personal process/journey has obviously been very empowering. My guess is that you will continue on your journey, and I am suggesting (again, without any real understanding of your current situation with your husband) that this may be a stage. So, I recommend going deeper. Ask yourself more questions about your feelings. Why do you have an open heart that lacks emotion toward your husband? Are you and your husband a poor match? Have you outgrown him? Has he outgrown you? Have you mutually fallen out of love? Have you stopped being kind to each other? What is it?

Pose these questions, and let the answers speak for themselves. People fall in and out of love all the time. I think the real question to ask is, “Have I truly fallen out of love, or is my lack of feeling for my husband a stage in my process?”

I love getting these questions…keep them coming to [email protected]!

Thank you for having Tea with Tyler!




Hi, I’m Tyler Stroebel, and I am Tea with Tyler. I’m a mother, wife, business owner, healer, and reverend, passionate about providing comfort in a sometimes uncomfortable world. www.teawithtyler.com is a free online soulful advice column.



Editor: Cassandra Smith

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