A Call to the Sacred Masculine: 10 Daring Invitations from the Divine Feminine.

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If I am going to act like a goddess, I want a man who acts like a god.

Yet all this talk lately of the goddess and the Divine Feminine seems like new-age wishful thinking, a fantasy archetype with as much to do with real life as Superwoman or the Fairy God Mother.

While goddess propagandists promote the unilateral concept of a spiritually elevated womanhood—strong but supple, decisive and nurturing, wild yet wise—glaringly absent is a call to the Sacred Masculine counterpoint. Women can forever rally around each other, cheerleading new heights of intuitive and open-hearted power, but without the cooperation of menfolk stealing their own fire from the gods, we are preaching to the sistah choir.

Bottomline? Organizing a spiritual revolution as women without inviting men to the front lines with us means we are orchestrating a collective reframe with only half the available power. Real change means humanity—yes both genders—opts for the cosmic upgrade to Divine Class together.

So, on behalf of the X chromosome, here is my invitation to mortal men who wish to dance as gods with wanna-be goddesses.

1. Show us your heroic heart. We know you want to save what is worth saving and to rescue this planet from peril. Wage a hero’s battle against poverty, needless strife, environmental ruin or whatever stirs your courageous heart. It might be a plan to increase your neighborhood safety, to improve your child’s education, to plant a vegetable garden in your backyard or to stop prejudice wherever you see it. The world needs your brave heart to take bold action.

2. Unsheathe your sword. As a man, you wield a sword of truth that can cut through cultural distractions to what really matters. The faster car, the better sports team, the bigger salary are all fine and dandy but on your deathbed, what unfulfilled vision will you regret the most? What risk did you back away from? What chance did you refuse to take? Before you die, be bold enough to discover and live your truth.

3. Dare to dream. Before you played the role of mortal, you (well, we) created the heavens and earth. What do you wish to create here and now? What beautiful order do you wish to bring forth from the chaos of this world. What implausible dream do you want to manifest for the greater good of all? It doesn’t have to be grand, like solving world hunger. It can be simple, like solving your child’s homework problem because you are dedicated to being a great father. All we care about is that something brings you alive with passion.

4. Steer the ship. Aim your life for a noble horizon. It’s not like there’s a second in command who will captain your destiny while you snooze on the sofa after too many beers and potato chips with the TV droning in the background. Get to the helm of your life and navigate by your own pole star, the true north of your heart’s burning desire. Tip: if you don’t know what port you’re headed for, no wind is favorable.

5. Bring your soul to work. Work for more than the mortgage and car payments—work because you find some measure of joy in your job. And if the job is just to make ends meet for now, then meet that employment with gratitude and a call to service. Know that it’s not what you do, but what you bring to what you do, that matters.

6. Care deeply. As a man, you might have been taught to feel lightly and think hard, to hold your emotions back, as if you can build a dam against what naturally must flow. But your caring is what this world cries for. The tender-hearted masculine is both wise and merciful. When you weep, you give women permission to be strong. When your heart breaks we want to know it so that we can heal it together.

7. Love fearlessly. Show us the way by standing firm when we are in a beautiful rage. Don’t run from our fury—after all it might contain magical wisdom. In the gale force of feminine anger, your calm is a powerful reminder that we are met and accepted by our beloved partner.

8. Ravish your woman. Every now and then, take her wholeheartedly, without apology. Press her against a wall and bind her with your kisses. Possess your goddess, oh great god that you are, and then let her possess you. Polarity is a potent nectar and the current runs both ways.

9. Slay your demons. We all have them, the dark part of our hearts, the crevices where our fear and loathing hideout. Notice what keeps you awake at night and stalk it. Hunt your darkness and drag it into the light for loving and healing.

10. Leave your mark. Don’t settle for a fleeting cameo in which your appearance in this kingdom is so quickly forgotten. What do you want your children to say about you? Your great-grandchildren? The greatest legacy is not the wealth you leave behind, but your heartfelt message that echoes forward to future generations.

Ultimately, this dance of the divine in both genders is not about lighting incense, chanting at kirtan, wearing white or even gathering in gender-specific goddess groups or men’s Iron John style movements designed to reclaim a lost chest-thumping masculine. Rather, it’s about being real 360-degree humans, embracing both the sacred and the mundane within ourselves and each other.

When men are willing to meet women heart-first and to live from that divine place of kingly wisdom, warrior courage and boy-like vulnerability, we women are given the gift of receiving all of you. And we are given permission to reveal all of who we are—the nurturing goddess, the juicy seductress and yes, even the nasty b*tch.

In the end, the call to a Divine Feminine and Sacred Masculine is perhaps just the simple yearning to get out of our crazy-busy heads and into our still-knowing hearts. As Rumi says, “I looked in Temples, Churches and Mosques. I found the Divine in my heart.”

Whatever the divine really is, let’s find it together.


The qualities to look for in a partner:

Letting Go is Overrated.


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Lori Lothian

Lori Ann Lothian is a spiritual revolutionary, divine magic maker and all-purpose scribe. Her articles on love, relationships, enlightenment and sex have appeared at Huffington Post, Good Men Project, Yoganonymous, Origin magazine, Better After 50, XO Jane and on her hit personal blog The Awakened Dreamer. She is also the creator of The 40 Day Magic Challenge. a daily practice to create a masterpiece life of ease, flow, joy and prosperity. Lori Ann lives in Vancouver, Canada, with her husband and daughter, where she has learned to transcend the rain and surrender to mega doses of vitamin D. Tweet her at Twitter

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anonymous Jan 28, 2016 11:55am


anonymous Jul 12, 2015 6:25am

A complete New World Order reordering of traditional, cultural gender roles. The men described above could be 16 years of age, or perhaps homosexual men. Certainly not independent, free-thinking, individual American men who do not put themselves under women's feet, which is what is taught in universities in the US today.
Most of the above is new age mind-control, seasoned with fantasy novel gods, goddesses, fairies, elves, heroes and heroines. College-educated women are taught to fear men, compete with men, and to despise traditional heterosexual men. Third wave feminism has turned women against men. All the sex between men and women in the world won't change that.

anonymous Feb 9, 2014 6:59pm

Have you read Iron John?

anonymous Feb 4, 2014 2:14pm

"Organizing a spiritual revolution as women without inviting men to the front lines with us means we are orchestrating a collective reframe with only half the available power." This wonderful article could have ended there and the message would have been loud and clear. I love men. I'm so tired of the manosphere/feminist banter. Although the way men are described above is a bit to broad to be credible, I do believe they need to be loved, and women need to stop punishing them at every turn. The real, heroic men will find their goddessses who deserve them. The women who believe their "goddesses" just because their female still have a lot to learn. <3

anonymous Nov 25, 2013 11:05pm

Hi Lori! Thanks for sharing these words. A sweet friend of mine directed my attention to it.
I believe words such as Men, Women, Masculine, Feminine, Divine… like almost any other word have a mirror quality. The meanings, fears and hopes we charge them with are reflections of our inner longings. Yes they are about beings out there, and yes, they are also about our selves.
As a man and through experience I have learned that there are Gods and Goddesses in every man and woman, as perfect as they can be in every situation. Moments that I had a desire for them to be even a bit more that what they are, if I had the courage to step back and observe myself in that desire, it was easy to recognise that there is a potential in myself that is longing to come online and be claimed. The person in front of me was a perfect as it could be, in that moment.
I also see a longing in women to connect to their inner masculine in a different way, and the same with men, to acknowledge their inner feminine.
Thanks again for the inspiration… With Smiles

anonymous Nov 23, 2013 6:12pm

Continuing to speak the language of masculine and feminine, whether divine or not, and whether referring to males and females or to archetypes supposedly within us all is hardly revolutionary. In fact, it's not revolutionary at all – it's archaic and conservative. This kind of binary thinking is unimaginative and, worse, it perniciously (even if subtly) perpetuates the very gender norms it supposedly transcends. More hunter/warrior and nurturer/seductress b.s. that prevents people from being "360 degrees" rather than cultivating it.

anonymous Oct 28, 2013 2:30pm

I'm kind of curious about number 7. Stand firm in what way? Not by taking abuse from a woman, and standing idly by. That's not some ideal to be followed by men. Or do you mean stand firm while the other goes into a rage because they're not getting their way? In either case it sounds really juvenile. Hopefully someone can help clarify this for me.

anonymous Oct 22, 2013 8:14am

Lori Ann, Thank you. I have so much to say, I wanted to write to you personally, but I couldn't figure out how. So here is the abbreviated version.

I am participating in a 7 week on online course by a bestselling author. Her book takes a beautiful, riveting, in-depth look at the qualities needed to attract a man or women of the highest masculine and feminine attributes. In essence, the book rallies the reader to cultivate the qualities ourselves we are looking for in a partner. Brilliant right?

Well here's the catch. There are perhaps over 500 people enrolled in the course. And as I scrolled down the pictures to see who my course buddies where, to my great heartache, I noticed there were only 12 men.

After sitting with that discouraging statistic for a few minutes, I threw up my hands to the heavens and called to the divine: "So what, all these beautiful woman are preparing themselves for their amazing man, and when we're done; What? You're gonna' beam all the men down on a mother ship from some other planet where they’re preparing themselves for us?"

Once I began to laugh at my own ranting, I had fun imagining these men of the highest masculine attributes marching out, one by one into the arms of those 500+ goddess women anxiously waiting and well prepared for their beloved.
And now not so cynically, (and since the odds of meeting a man who has already taken the time to truly prepare himself to be a man of the highest attributes seems to be about 50-1) my hope is that all the women who have worked, labored to stretch into the divine feminine of the highest attributes will meet men who are at least willing to take these goddesses by the hand and allow themselves to be influenced and encouraged by our diligent work.

anonymous Oct 1, 2013 5:57pm

While I can connect emotionally with the sentiment of this article, there's still something that feels off. Still something Hollywood dreamy-cheesy about it. The ideal man as something in accordance with some fanciful rules of perfection that still seem tied to bullshit ideals promulgated by New Age-hippie exceptionalists. Like the so called "goddess propagandists," it smells of being self righteous and trite.

But yes, of course, men need to change, as many of us have swung too far towards the opposite of Marlboro Man to be of much use to the world. So may we be inspired to grow into giants perfected by our trials.

anonymous Sep 14, 2013 7:16pm

Lori Ann : your comments are helpful to provoke action from both genders but your terms and language bespeak a merely journalistic viewpoint. "Is that all you got?"

Comments by e.b. sarver here says what I think you would profit to absorb more personally and/or more deeply.
Also read Gary Stamper's 2012 book, "Awakening the New Masculine."

Rasing consciousness take work and time, practice and devotion, a lot more than a "10-tips" list

anonymous Aug 17, 2013 2:48pm

I am saving this for my son, and if there is a partner in my future, he will need this. THANK YOU!

anonymous Jul 20, 2013 12:18pm

absolutely love this…so many men think the strong, goddess figure wants to compete for power, even overshadow men's strength, when what most want is a man who taps into his strength just as strongly – one who meets her feminine with his masculine, and who celebrates and honors each of them.

anonymous Jul 18, 2013 3:37pm


anonymous Jul 8, 2013 10:15am

Thank you for addressing the sacred masculin! I have always been very focused on the feminine, but as the mother of two teen boys, and have suddenly realized that there is very little out there for men who want to be connected, whole, loving, spiritual and still manly. Thanks for bringing men into the mix!

anonymous Jul 4, 2013 7:28am

Wow,what a powerful soul stirring article. This is my fourth or fifth time reading it and paying it forward. The very thoughts of the God/dess energies mingling and lighting the world together is INTOXICATING. YES YES.. not only do goddess's have to rise, but the god's as well … it is a divine dance of source… both succulent energies intermingling, complementing and shining together. THANK you for this amazing core moving piece! <3


anonymous Jul 3, 2013 2:44pm

Your forgot the most important thing: If you want to be a true male god, you dont need females to tell you how to be.
Or do godesses need males to tell them how to behave ;)?

anonymous May 18, 2013 4:11pm

What do women want? Apparently, it's a long list of things. And the list is different for every woman. We men have to smile, nod our heads, and ignore as much of it as we can get away with. Our list is way, way shorter. So we give in on most of it, but hold out on what actually matters to us. In the end, it balances out.

anonymous Jan 28, 2013 9:34am

[…] exceptional men I’ve been with who enjoy the ride, who witness my storms or those of other women with a knowing look, a wisdom that goes beyond my high-strung-ness or defensiveness or just general freakout, are […]

anonymous Jan 21, 2013 5:53am

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anonymous Jan 16, 2013 10:50am

[…] yes. Men, do you dare? If you do, click here. It’s all about […]

anonymous Jan 1, 2013 4:50pm

wonderful .. thank you.. I waiting to meet him <3 please check out my website w w w . sex as sacred . c o m

anonymous Jan 1, 2013 2:57pm

Recently when I mentioned that there is not enough out there that speaks to the issue of what it means to be a real man, I was rebuffed with the old argument that "men own everything already," as it were not allowed for men to speak of these things — to actually talk about how to become better at being a man. So I am a bit dumbstruck by an article by a woman "inviting" us to be real men, as if that should be allowed instead of men teaching men how to be better men. How about if a man writes an article inviting women to be better women? I wonder how that would be received. Would women be just as grateful about being told how to be a real woman as so many of the comments from men?

anonymous Jan 1, 2013 8:49am

[…] […]

anonymous Dec 3, 2012 3:04am

[…] withstand pain and death-defying experiences. But for so many uncounted, seasoned-hidden reasons, they never dare to speak up, look for consolation, or ask for […]

anonymous Oct 21, 2012 8:55pm

[…] absorbed being gazed upon by an audience of one. The audience is a collective of the great masculine. It is a gathering of all my lovers. It is the memory of my virginity ravished with a savage […]

anonymous Oct 19, 2012 6:40am

[…] suppose I could use the old throwaway words—polarity. masculine and feminine. In a way, they tell us that something exists. There are labels […]

anonymous Oct 14, 2012 9:27pm

Lori, you are a great writer, I'm glad I found your blog. I'd have to say, that both men and women need to be HONEST and I can say after meeting many people in my life, they are afraid to BE who they REALLY ARE.. If people would just be HONEST then we are accepted or not accepted and sometimes, just following our heart is the most honest thing we can do. Live in the moment but prepare for the future, have expectations on ourselves…There is that old poem, we are not here for anyone's expectations, but if we can find each other, life can be more beautiful. Make a beautiful life for ourselves by becoming the best we can be…Expectations must be in the direction of agreement and commitment not shared, means not lived up to.

anonymous Oct 14, 2012 12:18pm

ravish your woman- this word clearly shows misogynous, sexist and oh so New Age shitty pseudo-spiritalist neo-patriarchy!!!!!! You certainly have no undrestanding of male nature and take a tone the masochist "feminists" take with men/

anonymous Oct 14, 2012 12:08pm

Ravish your woman – this term clearly shows misogynous, annoyingly sexist and oh so New Age pseudo-spiritual shitty attitudes. You clearly have no understanding of male nature, this is a tone some masochist so-called "feminists" who claim BDSM to be "enjoyable" take with men…. FUUUU disgusting …

anonymous Oct 6, 2012 12:44pm

[…] is a marriage that takes place within. A marriage between the sacred masculine and feminine. We are often unaware of the internal conflict between these aspects of […]

anonymous Sep 22, 2012 8:04am

[…] particular, I am repulsed by how the masculine feels so thoroughly entitled to worship, possess, pilfer and then discard the idealized beauty of […]

anonymous Aug 22, 2012 1:28am

Well said! The men in my community (www.TribeOfMen.com) are all working toward these virtues.

A man will respond to a woman's "call" if that call begins with seeing his best qualities, elevates his goodness, and calls him even further to his greatness. This is the opposite of what happens all too often — out of disappointment, a woman sees where her man is lacking, points it out, and lets him know that it's not acceptable, and he should change. This, of course, reminds us of our mother (or father), and turns us away from the direction you want us to go.

The men's movement is wide and deep. I interviewed more than 90 leaders of the men's movement last year (including many women) during the Ultimate Men's Summit. Those interviews are still available – for free – and I highly recommend listening to the astonishing range of voices, opinions, and perspectives about men and manhood today.


anonymous Aug 18, 2012 7:05am

[…] Burning Man is the ultimate orgasmic world and Camp Contact, a camp at Burning Man, is one representation of that. Originally founded as a Contact Improvisation Dance camp, they are now taking their dance philosophy into workshops that focus on relating, intimacy and the never-ending tango between femininity and masculinity. […]

anonymous Jul 22, 2012 11:20am

[…] this article, (which starts with, “If I am going act like a goddess, I want a man who acts like a […]

anonymous Jul 11, 2012 1:40pm

[…] […]

anonymous Jul 10, 2012 6:27am

[…] […]

anonymous Jul 7, 2012 1:43pm

I loved this post (and looks like I am in good company!). What an invitation for all of us, male and female.

anonymous Jul 3, 2012 5:44pm

Thanks for a great post and one that is needed. Women love men…we want them to love themselves and find their sacredness to be the best they can be and then we can all dance in this polarity!

anonymous Jul 3, 2012 5:01pm

Oh I love a brave heart! As for unsheathing your sword…..enough said. Now where were we? Yes, wise & powerful words. Care deeply good men! Rise up, love fearlessly, head for your true north & leave your mark. xx Roni

anonymous Jul 2, 2012 11:07pm

I've felt the need to re-post this in all the articles I found that touched on "ravishing" women, so forgive me if you are reading this more than once. All I can say is WOW!, but not in a good way. So when is a no a "real" no? Basically the ravishing concept says to me that the woman maintains all the power in the sexual encounter, both in telling me to be more assertive and then arbitrarily deciding when a no really means no. If anything, this inspires misogyny in me. This is one on the few times I'm actually jealous of Charlie Sheen, and his alleged comments about not paying prostitutes to have sex with him, but to leave after the fact. That seems far more honest of a relationship to me.

And before anyone accuses me of simple-mindedness, let's look at the The American Heritage® Dictionary's definition of ravish:

1. To seize and carry away by force.
2. To force (another) to have sexual intercourse; rape.
3. To overwhelm with emotion; enrapture.

Yeah I can see how the 3rd definition could possibly fit. But the other two, they seem very much to be about force and violence. Dr. Sheck even boasts of his large frame, and how women he's come across LOVE (emphasis in the original) when men can make them feel like a little girl.

You are so playing with fire on this point.

    anonymous Aug 19, 2012 6:50pm

    LOL…I believe posted this more than once, and I replied.

anonymous Jul 2, 2012 3:08pm

[…] […]

anonymous Jul 2, 2012 10:19am

[…] is the evolutionary work we have come to do. How we hold the Sacred Feminine and Sacred Masculine through a dance of partnership will blaze the trail of our dawning. A dawning where each is […]

anonymous Jul 1, 2012 2:31pm

[…] This was previously published on elephant journal. […]

anonymous Jul 1, 2012 9:12am

This is really lovely but, as a woman, I don't need permission from my man to be strong! (Point number 6) I don't need his permission for anything. We are equals, remember?

Cameron Burgess Jul 1, 2012 6:04am

There's a great deal that comes up in response to this sort of writing, and I want to be clear that this comment is not reserved for this post exclusively.

I've read the article, and your various responses Lori, and while I admire the intent, there are many men, myself included, who are tired of being preached to as if we are fundamentally unaware. Should a man write an article like this to women, the backlash would be extreme. Just because men might be more measured in their response, doesn't mean this is any less matronising / diminishing (funny how we don't have a word for when women speak down to men, but we certainly have the reverse!) than when a man speaks to a woman in the same way.

I've often thought to write such an article but have held back because I don't consider it would be useful. I'm an intelligent, self-aware and loving human being, and this has nothing whatsoever to do with my gender, just as your nature has nothing to do with yours.

Articles of this nature seem to consistently reinforce some separation, and diminish the profound value that men bring to the world. Change happens by meeting each other where we are. If we're meeting each other from the place of needing to be different, we're visiting a subtle violence upon the world that is counter-productive to our intent. I wonder how many women consider that their approach to men has as much of an impact upon how we behave in the world as men's approach to women. None of us is without hypocrisy – it goes with having a body. Surely we need to meet each other as we are?

Women have struggled for centuries to be free of socially proscribed ideas of who they can and cannot be. Attaining this freedom doesn't mean that they have the right to inflict a whole new set of social proscriptions on men.

In short, I for one don't need yet another list (despite this being quite a good one). I'm more aware of how I move in the world that is unloving and incongruent with engendering a loving and peaceful world than anyone outside of this body could ever be. That's the point of this work, of 'knowing thyself'.

The point of most significance is your closing line: "Whatever the divine really is, let’s find it together."

An invitation isn't proscriptive, it's an opening. There are many men who exemplify not only these qualities, but many that are far, far beyond. Perhaps it's time women started approaching men as equals, as opposed to unaware, ignorant relics of a bygone era in need of better tutelage.

    anonymous Aug 19, 2012 6:20pm

    Cameron. I have just now seen this and want to thank you for your thoughtful commentary. Given that this article is a book in progress, I only learn from hearing how my message is received–or not received. Again, thank you.

anonymous Jun 30, 2012 7:16pm

[…] unexpectedly, I wrote a blockbuster called A Call to the Sacred Masculine: Ten Daring Invitations from the Divine Feminine. And suddenly I was under fire from angry men and women, a vocal minority who hated the article, […]

anonymous Jun 28, 2012 7:39am

I agree: if a woman is going to act like a godess, then she needs a man who is going to act like a god.

anonymous Jun 27, 2012 8:23pm

This is just another wounded part of the feminine, calling out as the victim – "where is my soul mate" / "who will love me" it's bullshit. No man is going to love you, 'ever' ,,,if you do not love yourself first, and I only know of about 1200 women walking the planet now that are honest when they say they love themselves… If you were the self empowered "goddess" you say you are, and you did happen to actually love yourself, then you wouldn't need a man / be missing a man, or, for that matter = you wouldn't be without one ! …..but the fact is, you DON'T have one, and your won't if you continue to heap loads of false identity into that goddess costume you wear. It has no more validity than the wings and feathers you put on during a week at burning man…it's false, with nothing to back it up, and will only lead you astray down yet another path of spiritual seeking without finding, searching without results – a dead end, only serving to keep you distracted from yourself as the wounded part plays another game out in your delusional mental prison…
The feminine you say you are now – it's a role you have chosen to take on, as your own.. but you are owning/playing something that is not yours…. it's a costume, a self inflated ego that is crying out it's open wound. When you leave this place called earth – do you think you will still be a "female" ? no – there is no gender role to be played out beyond earth… A real and true goddess contains both masculine and feminine – in divine balance, and requires no other than it's self to "complete" it… no other, no man, no thing or non thing… so in the mean time, you "rally around each other" feeding the wound, feeding this virus, giving it your power… while the real men shake their heads…. waiting…. for you to really step up, and into yourself.
What you are selling your victims is false, misleading and is further perpetuating the wound they are aligning to play with, validating it, giving it a voice and a platform to take over and control their lives… I suggest you read up on "the wound of isis" and let go of this silly game you are playing with yourself – and the divine masculine.

anonymous Jun 27, 2012 11:20am

[…] above comment came from a man angry with me—or at least with my words as penned in A Call to The Sacred Masculine: Ten Daring Invitations from the Divine Feminine, an article that soared to 50,000 views and garnered 14,000 Facebook likes. In other words, a piece […]

anonymous Jun 25, 2012 9:39am

[…] I’m Sorry, Letter of Apology to Men, the Hoʻoponopono methos, etc. And, while I like the Call to the Sacred Masculine from Lori Ann Lothian, I also felt a bit boxed in and missed (my video response to her […]

anonymous Jun 23, 2012 2:44am

[…] they dared each […]

anonymous Jun 22, 2012 6:33pm

A bit tired of the whole duality represented here. I am both feminine and masculine. I am a sacred human, not a goddess/god. "The call" is to become and embrace who we already are without all the garbage about swords, fighting demons, etc. I want be with people who can give and take but most importantly accept. Meet the world wholly and honestly. Masculine? Feminine? Meh. I, for one, don't care.

anonymous Jun 22, 2012 1:42pm

[…] waited a while to respond to Lori Ann Lothian’s post, A Call to the Sacred Masculine, Ten Daring Invitations From the Divine Feminine, mostly because it was hard to […]

anonymous Jun 22, 2012 8:33am

[…] […]

anonymous Jun 16, 2012 2:32pm

blech. How about we just do our humanly best, which is sure to often be terrible but likely good enough, and ease up with all the spiritual romance novel stuff?
This is basically everything wrong with American Buddhism, yoga, and takes on "Eastern Spirituality." Everybody wants to still be the hero of their 'spiritual' movie, while not wanting to just realize that the movie itself is, well, just a movie. Real love like real spirituality is wonderfully dull most of the time.

anonymous Jun 16, 2012 1:24am

[…] I want to want you not because it gratifies my ego, not because you are outwardly beautiful, but because your very presence invites my Godself out of hiding. I want to touch you with my heart on my sleeve, to know chemistry between us that is not gender […]

anonymous Jun 13, 2012 10:41pm

Cheerleading? You had to go THERE?

anonymous Jun 11, 2012 12:01am

[…] A Call to the Sacred Masculine: Ten Daring Invitations from the Divine Feminine. (elephantjournal.com) […]

anonymous Jun 10, 2012 1:55pm

[…] write this now because a recent article of mine on love at elephant journal went viral. A Call to the Sacred Masculine: Ten Daring Invitations from the Divine Feminine soared to 44,000 views and 12,000 Facebook likes in ten days. The piece also drew praise and […]

anonymous Jun 9, 2012 9:23pm

[…] […]

anonymous Jun 9, 2012 5:29pm

I love seeing male-positive posts, honoring our male "gods". Our beautiful boys and men have a right to be treated with love and respect so they can be vulnerable. I didn't like the part about it being OK for women to unleash being "a nasty bitch" and men being expected to take it. That's violence and violence is never acceptable.

anonymous Jun 8, 2012 10:15am

Just concepts and nothing more!

anonymous Jun 8, 2012 10:06am

All this talk of 'The Divine' has no meaning if we do not truly understand what it actually is? If beyond the expresssion of word(s) then talking about it is not going to help/assist anyone.

If there is divinity then it would surely be seen in actions rather than words by philososphers, new-age(neo)advaitists. Actions that prove uniqueness of character than driven by emotional and mental(concepts) fantasy!

anonymous Jun 8, 2012 2:39am

Written like a true woman, all emotion and no logic at work.

    anonymous Jun 10, 2012 3:51pm

    Thank God for a right brain

anonymous Jun 7, 2012 5:23pm

What a bunch of pretentious, narcissistic spiritual masturbation.

    anonymous Jun 10, 2012 3:51pm

    you forgot "public display."

anonymous Jun 7, 2012 3:55am

Appreciating the persistence you put into your website and in depth information you present. It’s awesome to come across a blog every once in a while that isn’t the same old rehashed information. Wonderful read! I’ve saved your site and I’m adding your RSS feeds to my Google account.

anonymous Jun 7, 2012 1:15am

be whatever you are…yay! you did it!

anonymous Jun 7, 2012 1:14am

the article was powerful in its being applicable to the subcurrent energies of masc/fem…and the comments section is amazingly insightful, expanding and broadening the message, bringing a clearer idea of its limitations and uses. thank you everyone for participating.

anonymous Jun 6, 2012 2:23pm

Thank you. Beautifully written. I think it's essential to remember, and in remembering, to embrace – the sacred masculine in all of us, the divine feminine in all of us – for the sacred polarities of masculine and feminine run in every one of us, regardless of gender. And the call to rise – is a call to rise to the feminine and masculine – within us. It is through this inner union of our own masculine and feminine – that the divine heart that holds all hearts, grows.

anonymous Jun 6, 2012 1:09am

I find this rather generalizing.
For example (and the first thing that struck me when I read this): Not all women get turned on by dominating men..

Whats up with this obsession to divide human beeings up in categorizes, like men and women were two different specie? Both women and men need love and respect, and as for the rest (like sexual preferences) those are highly individual.

Sure, some of these advices are good, but they apply as much for women as they do for men.

Naturally there seems to be (in my opinion) a minimal gap, if any at all, between men and women. We are essentially the same. But some of us make that gap bigger, and make things more complicated than they need to be, by seeing women and men as two highly different forms of creatures.

Life is not not black and white, there is no such thing as feminin and masculine “energy” (explain how gays, transexuals, bisexuals, crossdressers etc etc etc fits into this oversimplified theory please?).

We are people, we are one. There is no need to create borders by treating people different depending on their skincolor, religion, gender, profession or whatever.
Just treat people like you want them to treat you, and cut the generalizing crap. 🙂


anonymous Jun 5, 2012 11:37pm

While you make some interesting points, I do not accept your invitation. I am not a god, I am a man. I am, frankly, not really interested in what women want me to be. My passions to change/better/whatever the world are not generated on your behest – they come from within me. Asking me to change to fit what a woman wants is the opposite of masculinity – it is a an invitation to become an attractive lapdog.

My heart is either courageous or not, and trying to satisfy a woman does not bring forth true courage.
My sword is a sword, because I'm not a character in a Harlequin romance, I am a man.
Dare to dream?
I _will_ steer the ship. We are the ship, if you are mine. Are you ready to be compassionately and lovingly ruled by a man?
Bring your soul to work; let me get this straight – if I don't feel passionate about my dull but lucrative job, I should quit? Right. Because when the going gets boring, a husband and father quits.
Care deeply – again, caring is either real or it isn't. Trying to care about something to please a woman is both foolish and dishonest.
Beautiful rages do not exist. Rages are UGLY. Sure, yell at me. But your outpouring of negative energy has natural and inevitable consequences.
Ravage your woman. No problem.
Slay your demons. Excellent advice. Note that you have no part in this, because they are _my_ demons. And you can't handle them.
Leave your mark. That is natural for a man. And not because he wants the adulation of family, friends, and a grateful nation. These are shallow things. This is like "preserve your honor;" a dangerous lie and deceitful paradigm. The true calling is to "make things better."

The point is that you do not seem to understand men. And this "god" you have designed is not truly a man, and very far from a hero, because he is a woman's vision of masculinity. No more than a character from a Harlequin Romance.

The life of a truly masculine man flows from within him as naturally, powerfully, and inevitably as heat & light from the sun. It needs no moon to call it forth, and no moonlight to show it how to blaze. The sun defines the day, not the moon.

    anonymous Jun 7, 2012 10:43pm

    Dale–your points are good…some of them..this made me smile "Asking me to change to fit what a woman wants is the opposite of masculinity – it is a an invitation to become an attractive lapdog."…..

    No. I am not asking any man to change. I am saying what a WOMAN's heart yearns for in her man. That is all. It's not a demand it is an invitation.

    "if I don't feel passionate about my dull but lucrative job, I should quit? Right. Because when the going gets boring, a husband and father quits. "

    "I _will_ steer the ship. We are the ship, if you are mine. Are you ready to be compassionately and lovingly ruled by a man? " –YES! Ruled, not the word I'd use. But a man who is strong enought to lean on. Nice.

    NO….I clearly say that if the work if for money then it's not what you do that matters, but what you bring to what you do. I say in the end, it's not the job, but the man in the job….

    "Beautiful rages do not exist. Rages are UGLY. " Jesus apparently raged in the temple at the money changers. Sometimes rage is not an attack (you f*cking a-hole" but rather an expression of truth…"I am ANGRY." You are wrong to put rage in the category of bad.

    I could go on…what i want to say most, is thank you for taking the time to write your response. Every reaction or response is helpful in my understanding.

anonymous Jun 4, 2012 8:09pm

[…] put the divine feminine solely on females and the sacred masculine on people with male-sexed bodies only (as a couple of […]

anonymous Jun 4, 2012 11:17am

The Sacred Masculine embodies all Your eloquent invitations graciously to put forward his bold pursuit.
He holds the vastness of Your creative energy and give it shape and form, leading the dance with Humanity as family.
Nourish the Earth's Children to global awakening and parent the route for all their enlightenment.
And nothing less… with warm unceasing Divine Love.

anonymous Jun 4, 2012 12:40am

I like to know if you guys can call me Re: special offer

anonymous Jun 4, 2012 12:38am

Would someone fill me in?
Paul Bellotti

anonymous Jun 4, 2012 12:37am

I Still think that Mars has something to do with it
Love Andy

anonymous Jun 4, 2012 12:35am

l too have felt this movement, and wondered if it was only me, thank you for the enlightment

anonymous Jun 4, 2012 12:33am

we need to look at Ashar in regards to Venus passing the earth on Wed

anonymous Jun 4, 2012 12:31am

you all sound like you are drinking something, and l dont mean coke, get a life you really need to wake up, it has nothing to do with Venus on Wed

anonymous Jun 4, 2012 12:28am

you all sound like you are drinking something, and l dont mean coke, get a life

anonymous Jun 3, 2012 11:57pm

that is not very nice and a lot of spelling errors, you need James to open your tsdeen thoghts and unwind to a higher level, you really sound like a salesman

anonymous Jun 3, 2012 11:54pm

are you 3 clowns members of some strang group or didnt you understand what Alrishi said, nothing to do with the movement of Venus, can some one else help explain the real meaning

anonymous Jun 3, 2012 11:38pm

l agree we must use of sole to connect to the next level

    anonymous Jun 3, 2012 11:41pm

    Martin, we connect with your inner thoughts and must jell on Wedensday when Venus passes the sun at 8.32, all people must do to gain the inner self

      anonymous Jun 3, 2012 11:46pm

      yes that is why all people connected will gain stronger urges on Wed and that will deminish as time goes on unless you open your direct openness

    anonymous Jun 3, 2012 11:43pm

    is this why l feel a stronger movement and the willing to give out freedom powers to all l meet

anonymous Jun 3, 2012 6:02pm

It says "without apology". If you are doing something and there is a question as to whether you would have to apologize, don't do it because it is wrong. This feeds a dangerous fantasy out of which too many of us have been victimized.

Sometimes I feel like we are just slipping backwards when I read this stuff. At the core of my "feminity", as you alluded to in another reply, there's a woman who will fight like rabid dog if you grab me up like that. Also at my core you will find a a multi-dimensional human being who likes others of the same ilk- as in folks that can't be pigeonholed. You know, i like hanging out not with he-man the effing barbarian, but real people with all the complexities and layers we come with as individuals…that is to say who we are when we allow ourselves to be free of prescribed roles and stereotypes.

    anonymous Jun 3, 2012 6:24pm

    I realize I will need to write in more depth about the difference between archetypes and stereotypes–this piece is drawing on the former, not the latter, and makes a point to say 360-degree humans, not one-dimensional cartoons. The value in having your comments, and so thank you, is I can see where I make assumptions about how others will understand what I mean to say. It's a great help to me to hear from women who, like you, did not appreciate the article.

anonymous Jun 3, 2012 3:31pm

Number 8 is called rape. If anybody, including someone in a relationship with me, grabs me without apology I am gonna punch them,run away, and repot them.

Gender stereotypes suck. I’m with Erik on this one.

    anonymous Jun 3, 2012 3:37pm

    I am still stunned that "ravish" means rape to some people…no where does number 8 say harm or force. "Press against a wall" and "bind with your kisses" is not a brutal approach, but rather a simple expression of ardor. But this reaction from some women tells me a lot about what I need to add in a longer explanation of each of the ten items, coming in a book soon.

anonymous Jun 3, 2012 11:38am

This is the kind of new age, naive nonsense that sounds to me like bloated heterosexual ego fantasies that belong more to eHarmony than to anything truly sacred.

Particularly troubling to me is this desire to have men meet women "heart first." What? How condescending, and how blind to centuries and centuries and centuries of men who have brought (and bring) enormous heart to life and to the world. It's condescending, because it's like me sending an invitation to women to meet men head-first – as in, come on! have a brain!, and a sterling intellect.

And what about gay men? I have no interest in ravishing a woman. None. This whole "Sacred Masculine" stuff as it stands is just an ego extension of the gender wars, a power struggle between opposites. If you were actually writing about something sacred and divine, gender would not even enter into this, and it would read very differently. It would be a much wider and deeper vision, rather than this quite limited and insulting vision.

Lastly, virtually everything you've mentioned is through a vision of empowerment that is almost exclusively Heroic in nature. As broadly as that can be played out, it's still a limited view of life. It's 1 myth, 1 archetype, and a vision of a truly "sacred masculine" (or "sacred feminine") must reach much further and much wider and be far more encompassing of diversity and variety. It would move beyond the merely heroic and its desire to slay demons, "hunt" darkness, and shine light all over the place is almost the opposite of something sacred or divine, because the divine is a mystery. Going into the darkness and bringing light removes the mystery, blinds us further, and limits sacredness to what can be seen. Rather than hunting demons in the dark, maybe stop demonizing the dark. We live in a global world, 1/2 of which is always in darkness – non-demonic darkness. Step outside of all of the heroics, because that's the place to begin envisioning a "sacred masculine," and you'd really be onto something.

    anonymous Jun 3, 2012 12:08pm

    Your points are fantastic and yes, of course this piece misses the mark for non-hetero unions. I wrote it from a hetero view for a hetero audience. To say however that this is not "sacred" because it addresses only the hetero-dynamic in the interplay of masculine and feminine, is to say that a piece of the puzzle is not valuable without the whole. Each piece matters–homo, hetero, androgyny, sexuality, celibacy, and more. But for this piece to to be inclusive of the gay dyanamic it would be a book, not an article that is aimed at one slice of the pie.

    Yes, to your comment we need not demonize the dark. I was using language to be provacative and hyperbolic. You would be surprised at how non-dual I really am. 🙂 I also love the Jung quote on this, "One does not become enlightened by imagining figures of light, but by making the darkness conscious." It's in that spirit I meant for the man to stalk his demons and to bring them into the light for loving and healing.

    Again, your comments are received and duly noted with gratitude.

      anonymous Jun 4, 2012 11:28am

      Hi Lori,

      Thanks for your response. The non-sacred part I mean isn't the hetero part, it's more that so much of the vision of "divine masculine" and "divine feminine" (not just in this piece, but in many other pieces I've read and heard from other people as well) are often built from the ground up, starting with the limited perspectives and simply exaggerating these qualities to make them sound divine. Rather than, for example, deeply exploring the divine first, really grasping the mysteriousness and magnitude of it, and then really grasping how difficult it is to squeeze all of that down into something that still retains that mystery and divinity. [Great poems do this best.]

      I'm not a fan of the "everything is divine and each piece matters" style of approach when it just gets conceptual, "anything goes," and doesn't have room for discrimination and really grasping the divine nature of the different pieces… the different divinities all get wrapped up in the same thing, and it becomes broad, general, and lost in the crowd.

      I like the Jung quote too, though I'm not sure how you read it and understand it. I don't hear it as bringing the light into the darkness. I hear it as recognizing the consciousness of the darkness, and that darkness has its own style of consciousness that is different than the light. It gets to stay dark, remain mysterious, and our work is to grapple with that and resist the urge to just shine light into it. If we shine light into it (like the Hero does), we don't get to see the dark (the mystery)… we see the light.

      I believe we're in a period of so much change, and such dramatic change — and we're only at the beginning of it — that it's really good to not try to define everything too clearly right now. When I read the other comments from men, in response to your article here, I hear the lack of clarity and the uncertainty. I feel that myself quite often. But a first step might be to not try and reach for certainty too quickly – and to be OK with that (or not OK, in an OK-way, lol). Divinity never presents us with a whole lot of certainty anyway, and it might just be our work right now to accept the uncertainty, grapple with it, be frustrated, let it be mysterious and unknown (since our "knowing" right now is so fundamentally an ego style of knowing, desperate for light) and let it fire us up in a very different way than just taking the traditional gender issues and magnifying them into something "divine." Basically, grapple with what "divine" is really about before trying to tag "masculine" and "feminine" onto it.

anonymous Jun 3, 2012 6:45am

[…] was inspired and challenged by the provocative elephant journal article A Call to the Sacred Masculine: Ten Daring Invitations from the Divine Feminine that recently made the viral rounds on […]

anonymous Jun 2, 2012 7:26pm

I just love this piece. Many of my brothers are having a hard time clarifying what an awakening man looks like, feels like, moves like. Trapped as we are in a survivalist consciousness, with one hyper-vigilant eye on the door and another mistaking accumulation for safety, we seldom step out from behind our wall of armour to consider other pathways of possibility. Lori Ann’s piece helps to bridge the gender-ation gap between the world we know best and the next step man, a tenderling warrior who is readying to do the hard work (divine perspiration!) to honor his truth-aches and swap his quest for egoic success for something more authentic- the path of the in-powered, inclusive, receptive heart.

In words I used long ago, I look forward to the day when we can meet one another in our true nakedness, stripped free of unresolved emotions, pain-induced projections, the distortions of duality. For too long we have been on opposite sides of the river, the bridge between our hearts washed away by a flood of pain. But the time has come to construct a new bridge, one that comes into being with each step we take, one that is fortified with benevolent intentions and authentic self-revealing. As we walk toward one another, our emotional armour falls to the ground, transforming into the light at its source. And when we are ready, we walk right into the Godself at the centre of the bridge, puzzled that we ever imagined ourselves separate.

    anonymous Jun 3, 2012 11:53am

    Jeff, what strikes me most from your reply is your lack of defense. What I have noticed more than anything is how this piece either hits men as a possible inspiration, or it hits them like a punch to the solar plexus, as if I am telling them what is wrong with who they are in the world. I sat outside with a former boyfriend, a trained counselor, who gave me some suggestions in an first draft to soften the piece by making sure it was clear that this was an INVITATION, not a DEMAND or PRESCRIPTION. Yet, two days after the piece was published, he confessed even he was triggered emotionally by the "call" and had to deal with his own sense of inadequacy. This saddens me, because of course, communication shuts down when emotional wound/story puts up a wall of defense. Thank you from this feminine heart, for your openess and wisdom.

anonymous Jun 2, 2012 5:07pm

Great ideas and thanks! I do take umbridge with the crack against the Superwoman and Fairy Godmother archetypes though – they are both alive and well in our modern world albeit not always in obvious ways. http://archetypist.com/2010/03/25/ofgm-original-f

    anonymous Jun 3, 2012 1:03pm

    I loved your link–yes, of course you are right in deep jungian view, all archetypes are alive and well. I was being flippantly clever vs archeyptally astute, playing a bit of the Prostitue to get my point across. (trading intellectual accuracy for popular appeal). I really like your work, Julienne, your site is comprehensive and easy to read.

anonymous Jun 2, 2012 1:43am

real men and women don't send their kids to school/prison or homeschool them coercing them to bend to their will forcing them to learn anything and they don't leave their kids in cribs screaming all night they let their kids sleep with them in bed with them

anonymous Jun 1, 2012 10:27am

Identification. Attachment. Non-contentment to the point of action. "inviting" the external to change due to one's expectations and hopes or rather desires. What does this have to do with yoga or divine or sacred?

    anonymous Jun 1, 2012 10:45am

    Good points. And Judgment: be this, do that.

    anonymous Jun 1, 2012 11:52am

    We lead lives at the ultimate and proximate level–to "transcend" the here and now is missing what matters. It's a playground, this thing called life. It's not to be fixed, but rearragned, re-inevented, rediscovered. I for one, post my own awakening, have felt no desire to sit on a mountain top removed from the world. I am content. But I am also playfully drawn to action….this piece was not written from a place of personal agnst…it was written from a place of creative freedom.

      anonymous Jun 4, 2012 10:06pm

      It is really quite funny. Such pain-pleasure principle going on. Instead of doing the only thing that there is to transcend it, we write articles and blogs expressing ways of enabling each other to stay where we are.

      Without knowledge and a template, there is no actual process. The experience, be it from a valid template that holds true, is what gives the knowledge the alchemy to become wisdom but only thru discernment. This cycle continues to go on and it is called evolution.

      De-evolution – continuing to do the same thing which is not beneficial. In time this causes dis-ease and pain. Not only in the short but in the long as it also diseases those around us and also our progeny. This is also without the form of above. No experience or experience guided only by ego creates the downward spiral. Laziness grows to hoarding and jealousy and greed. The downfall continues. We clog up and can't tell our heads from our asses much less have any clear or healthy experience.

      To say that one needs to be alone on a mountain top to transcend is ridiculous. But not as ridiculous as running a hamster wheel and inviting others along. Desires are desires, you feed em and they grow. There is nothing outside of you that will fulfill you yet you want to tell someone how to be. More so you cloak this in "spiritual words of daring invitation" to fulfill the lack inside and at the same time project that lack into the universe as how men are not, and it is up to your judgement?

      Spiritual, no. Sacred, no. Ego, yes.

      As you take the route of creative freedom to release you from responsibility, may i ask you……. What is the sacred masculine and divine feminine but the new key words to get something published? They have been worn into the ground of oblivion by the anusara lingo crew. When you take poetic rights to change anything to your liking, well, it grows, then everyone is doing the same and the homogenous mix lacks any truth of what it truly is.

anonymous Jun 1, 2012 6:47am

Nicole · 1 day ago
You do realize "ravish" means "rape"?

That is a potential definition.

To overwhelm with emotion; enrapture.
To give great delight to . . .

As soon as you start talking 'Rape', men will be put off by this. Our sex is subjugated enough!
It is NOT rape – Is it just 'being a man' – And letting the woman know she is the presence of a real man.

    anonymous Jun 1, 2012 8:12am

    Here here!

    anonymous Jun 3, 2012 3:46pm

    Grabbing and " ravishing" someone "without apology" is rape. So sad for the men that rapey behavior being called rape puts them off. Try being raped, that really sucks.

anonymous Jun 1, 2012 2:36am

Wow… The sheer terror this article obviously inspires in so many men really underlines the problem; guys often are scared shitless when femininity challenges them. The redirection into argumentative comments and intellectualizing is blatantly insecure. Also helps me understand something I’ve been wondering for awhile: In the men’s circles I attend, I sometimes feel like a loner for actually having an amazing and healthy relationship with a woman.

Here’s the thing guys, when they make these calls and you bitch and whine and justify and avoid, it breaks womens’ hearts. Plain and simple. They are not out to get us, and we do just as good a job at twisting ourselves into something unusual as they ever try to. They just NEED this from us in a way that is intrinsic to their nature… or at least that is what makes sense to me and clicks with what my heart feels.

Nothing will hit you repeatedly in the face, screaming “Wake the fuck up and deal with your shit!!” more than having a deep, caring, intense and intimate relationship with an amazing woman… That’s just the way it is and yes it is scary shit but c’mon… they are worth it 🙂

    anonymous Jun 1, 2012 8:16am

    Sean Cameron, women readers are surely cheering you on. I would love to use some of your comments in my next piece, which is "What the men had to say to the Call to the Sacred Masculine." I've had dozens of private emails too–some angry and defensive, others like yours, appreciative and reflective. Please also FB friend me if we are not yet connected on FB.

    anonymous Jun 2, 2012 9:11am

    I think a lot of people – women as well as men by the way, you seem to have missed that – are just reacting to a certain presumptuousness on that part of the author. And that's entirely appropriate, as is your reaction, because it speaks to you

    Ultimately it's a two way "call." All powerful love relationships that endure – and aren't simply one-sided Muse-like enchantments – are mutual challenges, and mutual elicitations. Sometime the man starts the dance, sometimes the woman. Cheers

anonymous Jun 1, 2012 2:26am

I don't understand why anyone needs to be called a god or goddess. The thriving men's movement does not feel a need to call men gods. So why is there a goddess movement? The politics behind this is a feminist politics that actually believes women are morally superior to men. As Lola Jone said, "Worshipping the goddess is usually just an attempt to overthrow the masculine. This is based on a simplistic theory of patriarchy, which claims that men as a whole have more power and privilege. This has been thoroughly refuted by Warren Farrell and others, with almost total resistance from feminists to hearing that–there just is hardly any rational conversation at all. So who wants to be really honest, get the facts and really come from the heart? In 12 years of raising this issue, not many people are willing to admit they were wrong and look at their assumptions and motives in order to create better connection between men and women.

    anonymous Jun 1, 2012 8:21am

    Paul–are you saying that men do not dominate in polictical office and they have not historically been paid more for the same job? I don't think you are suggesting this, but I am not sure what you are saying. I will look at who Warren Farrell is, and what he has written, but let's not forget that women only in this century got the right to vote! As for worshipping the Goddess being about overthowing men, I don't see that–first off, women really are not worshipping the goddess as much as invoking their own inner-divinity to the forefront. It's not about a power OVER others but accessing a power within ourselves–just as men too have a non-mundance (numinous) aspect to who they are as well. Call it God, Hero, King, or whatever you will, it is simply the invitation for a higher archetypal nature to come into action within the lives of men, and women.

      anonymous Jun 4, 2012 1:45pm

      Something you seem to overlook is that while men have traditionally ruled in the business and political spaces, women ruled in the home. Now that (at least in this country) women are the majority of the workforce, are starting to make more than men, and have for years been earning more advanced degrees…the tide is turning.

      An interesting part of the new reality is in couples where the woman is working and the man is at home. As well outlined in Hanna Rosin's article "The End of Men" in the Atlantic Monthly, these women are becoming the alpha on the business side of their relationship but refusing to cede their leading role in the household…leaving men on the bottom in both counts. I hear about this all the time from men in such situations and its causing them, after trying to rectify it, to lose interest in being in such a relationship (wouldn't you?). This seems to be a growing trend and I'd like to hear your take on it, in the spirit of what you outline in your article above. If you can address this dynamic in your book. it could be a great service to many people.

      Our roles are changing and while women have been carving out their own new path for decades, we men are playing catch up in figuring out what our roles will be in this new landscape. So far, most of the public voices pointing men in new directions have been from women and no matter how well thought out or well intentioned they are, ultimately its our path to seek for ourselves. Nonetheless, I thank you for caring enough to offer some real substance for consideration.

anonymous May 31, 2012 11:52pm

As a man who has male lovers, I always find this kind of discourse to be kind of silly whether it comes from a gay or straight crowd.

I experience this article as a new age, not yogic, response to a culture wide gender imbalance that occurred in the 80s when women dressed in linebacker shoulder pads to break through the corporate glass ceiling and masculinity was torn to shreds by second wave feminism. The flavor of this article reminds me of hearing John Friend talk about Lakshmi's "ripe pendulous breasts that even my gay friends admire" at the Anusara Advanced Intensive in LA a few years back. To the point, I invite us to be cautious and default to a larger perspective.

When I partner with another man, our bodies are pretty similar, so it's a great reminder for me, and really all of us, that we have these two energies within each of us and through our attentiveness and cultivation, we can find a balance that works for us. This is a very personal experience. For further reading, I highly recommend the book, Gender Outlaw by Kate Bornstein.

Adding the extra labels, "Divine" or "Sacred," seems counter intuitive, and these labels are regrettably overused and create extra barriers to an authentically stripped down practice – an attempt to look at our reality, as it is. These energies are basic and not complicated. We make them more complicated than need be by giving them such labels as if they were somehow beyond normal, yet they are a part of our basic nature.

    anonymous Jun 1, 2012 8:28am

    Hello Chad–please read my reply to the fellow below to understand what I mean by Sacred and Divine. In the meantime, I love this line of yours "women dressed in linebacker shoulder pads to break through the corporate glass ceiling and masculinity was torn to shreds by second wave feminism." It made me smile. And yes, masc and fem are not about gender, but about qualities in each gender. Yet as you have surely experienced in bed with your man, polarity happens because one of you (even though in a man's body) will be accessing more of the feminine current. This is key–and my invitation is not just for men to become more macho–in fact I ask them to care deeply/weep, which is a more feminine trait. The call to the Sacred Masculine, if you read it carefully, is a call to a 360 degree, or integral man. You would likely enjoy this piece by me as well- -http://www.elephantjournal.com/2012/03/the-rise-and-fall-of-the-rapacious-woman-lori-ann-lothian/

anonymous May 31, 2012 7:07pm

beautifully done!

anonymous May 31, 2012 4:03pm

A wonderfully pointed yet balanced inquiry and invitation! We need the fullness of each and all of our aspects to be fully incarnate in this life – whether alone, in communion, or in community. Aho!

anonymous May 31, 2012 3:20pm

So true! And I have to admit that the Iron John movement brought me much closer to be that kind of man, because most things you demand play an important role there.

anonymous May 31, 2012 11:58am

What – no turns for him to be a “goddess”, or for her to be a “god”?

This idealized masculinity – alas, is basically, “machismo” reinvented. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Machismo.

Well, with a little vegetable gardening thrown in.)

Basically this is the author’s fantasy transposed to being a doctrine for men, these gods-to-be. The list might create performance-anxiety in mortals: keeping this “god” thing up (pun intended) 24 hours a day is an unrealistic demand.]

Ayn Rand had to write fiction to make it possible.

[Sure – role playing can certainly be fun (all that unsheathing and ravishing), and if the author wants to play “goddess” and for her man to pretend to be Mel Gibson and aggressively captivate her – sure, that can be sexy, and more power/pleasure to ’em.]

But – my experience with men (60 years on the planet, bisexual) the male gender role proscription (“leaving their mark”) has way too much “god” in it already – look at the “Gods” men have invented over the centuries.

    anonymous Jun 1, 2012 8:30am

    LOL on the performance anxiety. It's not really a fantasy of mine, these ten invitations, it's simply my yearning for what might be possible in well rounded masculine. By the way, i've invited some men to write their call to the feminine and I look forward to seeing what a 360 degree woman might look like

anonymous May 31, 2012 11:13am

I really enjoyed your article Lori. And it seems like you have had to reinforce a number of times in your response to the comments that you were also speaking to the play of feminine and masculine in both men and women. I have the following on a little sticky on my computer monitor: “Nature longs for opposites and effects her harmony from them” – Aristotle. I found this in a book that I think is germane to this conversation and is a total paradigm shifter in the discussion and embodied discovery of the balance of masculine and feminine in each of us. It is called “New Self New World” by Philip Shepherd and he is a fellow Canadian doing ground breaking work on this issue. If you are going to write more on this I highly recommend you check his book out and contact him. His website is http://www.philipshepherd.com. Thanks for your work! Sorel

    anonymous Jun 1, 2012 8:31am

    Thank you for the reference. I will check it out.

      anonymous Jun 1, 2012 10:34am

      That is an interesting guy you mention: here is my comment on his blog about his book.

      The theme of your book is great: living in the head versus the body. But your characterization of the problem as male consciousness, is full of landmines for anyone interested in creating connection and love in the world. It sounds so far like a theory of patriarchy that blames men. So men are inherently evil, is the default explanation here, although proponents of this view deny it.

      A better explanation of gender is found in Warren Farrell’s book, The Myth of Male Power. The real issues is societies based on assumptions of scarcity and fear, which lead to hierarchies in which men have to perform and females help select the performers who are worthy of breeding under sex as procreation. Farrell’s evolutionary view is an alternative to the simple essentialism of the theory of patriarchy, even held among people who call themselves social constructionists.

        anonymous Jun 10, 2012 11:35pm

        Hi Paul – thanks for your comments. I would suggest that you read the book. New Self New World is about as far from a blanket discussion trumpeting patriarchy as the problem and blaming men or making them inherently evil as you can get. It is, plainly, beyond such basic analysis. It is subtle, profound, totally paradigm shifting in an uplifting and completely regenerative (for men and women alike) way. The book is an exquisite discussion that brings the reader to only ever greater connection and love to themselves and their inherent masculine and feminine energies (our humanity), greater connection to others, to the world, to The Oneness inherent in the world. The primary thing it does is bring us to a recognition of our inherent Wholeness. So it is my humble opinion that there are no landmines. Just opportunities to revolutionize the way we experience this human experience.

anonymous May 31, 2012 11:07am

This invitation is long overdue.

Thank you for accepting men, manhood, and the male energy in the awakening of the Divine Feminine. Awakened men are currently without a rallying cry, a banner under which we can convene, as we watch the Divine Feminine gather in gender-segregated groups.

Here in Costa Rica, where I live, there is a quarterly Solstice / Equinox gathering to celebrate the divine feminine, and women and children are the only ones allowed to attend.

As a man, I have felt left out of the awakening, watching on the sidelines. Nevertheless, the masculine energy has a role to play in the evolution of the Divine Feminine as well.

Thank you for inviting us to celebrate with you. As all good-hearted, spiritually awakened men know, we are stronger when we invite our counterparts to evolve with us, and I hope to see more awakened women extending this invitation as well.

    anonymous Jun 1, 2012 8:33am

    Thank you for your non-defensive response. Your attitude is not so common it seems, and I am heartened by it.

anonymous May 31, 2012 10:51am

and if you men do all of this then and only then will we "goddesses" be able to be happy… that is until you finally wake the fuck up and realize your the problem, your constant unhappiness and blame of man for it is getting so overplayed by the spiritual bullshit that you spew all over everyone. your setting up more "us against them", WE are humans, WE are trying to figure out what we are doing and what we want. I'm so sick of the new age bullshit that says men need to change in order for relationships to work and for women to thrive.

    anonymous Jun 1, 2012 8:34am

    YOu sound angry. Very angry. I would suggest this article has triggered something in you that needs to be looked at. What in the piece threatens your sense of manhood?

      anonymous Jun 1, 2012 10:16pm

      I'm going through a break up… so I'll just say I'm a little bit out of sorts. In our relationship I was the one doing all of the communicating, inviting, getting vulnerable. yet it was all the faults that I owned that she now gets to rest in due to her doing no work on herself. I opened up and now I'm pissed that I opened up to someone who couldn't/ wouldn't meet me.
      I'm not sure it's my masculine that being threatened, it's more that I don't think it's a mans job to open a women up. it's as if Walt Disney princesses have all grown up to be new age spiritual goddesses.
      I do regret putting negativity on your wall. I was in it big time when I read your words and yes it spun me out for sure. so for that deepest apologies.

anonymous May 31, 2012 10:27am

Great job lumping all sorts of human traits into sexualized compartments. Of course you'll need a man to do all of these "divine masculine" things since you've disowned half of your own humanity while chasing "the perfect divine feminine". I'm sure you'll find an equally unbalanced man who's disowned all of his "feminine" traits, and finally, the two of you will be able to cobble together your two half personalities into one semi functional human being.

    anonymous Jun 1, 2012 8:36am

    If you read the piece, there are many "feminine" traits I call a man to own–care deeply (tender hearted), just one. I am asking for a man to be 360 degree human–I am asking the same of women (by saying, sitting around in goddess circles and excluding men is not healthy or effective). It is interesting to see how people read into this piece what was not written, but rather take from it what they want or need to see in order to stay angry and defensive.

anonymous May 31, 2012 10:21am

Sacred Masculine? Great. A woman giving an outline of what that should look like? No thanks. Picture a man giving such a list to women. No matter how much good stuff was on the list, that man would rightly be told to mind his own business. We should steer our own ship? Great. We’ll start by throwing out the list and making one of our own. Lady, take off the captain’s hat. Empowered women are badly needed and much welcome. But this isn’t the ship they should be expecting to steer.

And I’m tired of writers talking about revalorizing the masculine by linking it to sex with the feminine. Firstly, if we’re to find our power, we need to do it to find the fire in own hearts as our primary goal, not to warm the fire in hers. Not as the primary. Consider how silly women’s empowerment would be if its only real goal was landing the right man. That’s not the Feminine Mystique, that’s Cosmo. Hey there, fish. Enjoy your bicycle.

Secondly, every such claim alienates our gay brothers. And if we’re to find our fire we need that brotherhood, the brotherhood of all men. How are we straight men to find our way to women if we won’t do the work to first reconnect with our brothers? The assistance we need in this process needs to come from each other, not from without.

Finally, when women find their power without men’s interference, it falls to we men who trust women to trust that that process is theirs. We have to trust that they will be stronger, more resilient, more at peace, more engaged by their lives. We have to trust that as strong men, we’re strong enough to share the making of the world with strong women. We have to trust that their power will not do us ill, of course. But we also have to trust that for some to follow that thread means they will find only anger and distrust of us. We have to trust that our not being stewards of that process means that we may not like where that process takes some of our sisters, but it’s not our choice and we’re strong enough to cede space for them in that. Well, the same goes here. Women have to keep their hands off this process and trust men to find our way through it. Even if in some cases they don’t like where some men end up. Giving us a road map and a shopping list of what we’re supposed to bring home when we’re done? That’s not that trust.

Don’t get me wrong. I love that women are supportive of the process. I’m deeply supportive of that process in women, and everyone finding their fire makes for a better world. However, we need a welcome, not a call.

    anonymous Jun 1, 2012 8:38am

    Picture a man giving such a list to women.

    I've asked a few men to do just that. I want to know what a man wants.

    The piece is not a demand or prescription–it is an invitation. It is not about telling a man to be something. It is about revealling to men what women yearn to experience in their men.

      anonymous Jun 1, 2012 10:17am

      That seems pretty dismissive given that numerous men have reacted that way. You've struck a chord in the experience of men with women who are overbearing, condescending, demanding and feel morally superior. You started out by saying this not happening, that it is a glaring absence, rather than appreciation for the men that do the things you like and men's movement that is handling this. The things you say are good, i think you would find a lot of agreement and I is good to know you are thinking about this and intending to help. But there is a subtle/blatant difference in attitude that can change your results. 😉

      anonymous Jun 2, 2012 1:12pm


      That sums it up, for me.

    anonymous Jun 4, 2012 1:29pm

    Thanks so much for this. I was about to write a response but you said it all!



anonymous May 31, 2012 10:11am

The stand-up guys commenting here are really, really out-classing the ladies. Rock on, brothers. Yes, we're a powerful world apart at this point – and loving it. Who knows, maybe we'll invite the women to the Divine dance soon? We just might not, though. It's too good the way it is.

I do understand the deep longing and lack of fulfillment that underlies the original posting – but seek and ye shall find, Sister.

    anonymous Jun 1, 2012 8:41am

    Hi yogasamurai–this love ninja is not writing from a personal angst–my man is many of these expressions already. The trigger for this piece was two fold–a beautiful image of a man, taken by a male photographer, that captured my imagination and heart. And walking through the Palm Springs airport last month and seeing so many men coming into town to golf, and seeing that in my mind, they were recreating over creating–that they had taken leisure and pleasure to be goals over constructive potency in the world. This of course, is a projection. But it triggered my creativity and this piece.

      anonymous Jun 2, 2012 9:13am


      One caveat, though: there are lots of female golfers, and increasingly golf heroines – Michele Yie, among them, who are role models. I don't golf, but lots of people swear by it, and find precision, grace, majesty – and a deep calm – in its practice.

      One of the finest spiritual books I have ever read — Golf in the Kingdom — written by the man who founded the Esalen Institute — makes the powerful case that golf practiced the old way – as originally intended – is a profoundly spiritual activity that can actually enlighten the practitioner.

      Perhaps the modern, commercialized leisure sport of golf that you sensed in the airport isn't much different from the modern commercialized leisure sport of yoga that one so often sees in the fitness studio.

      "they had taken leisure and pleasure to be goals over constructive potency in the world." No kidding!

        anonymous Jun 4, 2012 1:26pm

        On that note, if you've ever watched "The Legend of Bagger Vance" (a golf movie), you''ll note that its actually a retelling of the Bhagavad Gita!

          anonymous Jun 4, 2012 1:45pm

          Interesting, I haven't watched the movie (With Brad Pitt?), but I might. When Hollywood mixes spirituality and sport, the result is often rather hokey. Golf in the Kingdom was also made into a movie a couple of years ago

          Nowadays there's a burgeoning mindfulness "market"! Aimed at a specific demographic, and what's called a "psychographic" (lifestyle and way of thinking) Yoga is becoming a key part of this market, and marketers are engaged in nothing less than a feeding frenzy right now.

          "All that is holy is profaned. All that is solid melts into thin air."

          Karl Marx, on the impact of "commodity fetishism."

          Thanks for sharing that.

            anonymous Jun 7, 2012 10:28pm

            yogasamurai–I hope we are FB friends by now! Love your responses vs reactions

              anonymous Jun 7, 2012 10:41pm

              I love my responses AND my reactions. Sorry, you don't get to order people a la carte. Unless you're a control freak? Oh, must be reacting again, THANK YOU JESUS!

        anonymous Jun 7, 2012 10:27pm

        Well, I agree!

anonymous May 31, 2012 9:42am

[…] http://www.elephantjournal.com/2012/05/a-call-to-the-sacred-masculine-ten-daring-invitations-from-th… Share this:FacebookTwitterDiggRedditStumbleUponEmailPrintLinkedInLike this:LikeBe the first to like this post. […]

anonymous May 31, 2012 9:21am

A step in a better direction. I am surrounded by self-proclaimed goddesses, and frankly, many are sexist a-holes. The divine feminine and goddess movement is too often an excuse for elevating oneself merely for being female and perceiving oneself as “better” than a male. Posit whatever justice-making rationale you want for such overtly hurtful and harmful behavior, but you are not helping yourself or others by competing in any way with the opposite sex. I agree that we all need to embrace our divine nature – BOTH masculine and feminine – within each and every one of us not separately according to body type. This author makes the same mistake in her wishful thinking about the divine masculine. If you re-read this entire thing and imagine it was written by a man imploring women to have the listed characteristics you would be hard pressed to say that none of these things apply to women too. The point? Quit polarizing masculine and feminine as imperatives outcomes of a set of chromosomes. It is NOT a universal truth as I’m sure there are planets with more than two genders… including our own … and my male chromosome doesn’t make me any less feminine in terms of my divine nature. Embrace it all.

    anonymous May 31, 2012 9:31am

    Richard–yes. I am well aware that the currents of masculine and feminine run through each gender. I am writing to say, what most embodies the expression of each, in a singular gender. Admittedly, I could and should perhaps have addressed that male/female is an archetype in it's own right, with active/passive, giving/receiving, spirit/form polarity. Ah, but that will be for the book 🙂 And I hear you, that goddess groups are often an excuse to hate men, passive aggressively.

    anonymous Jun 1, 2012 8:42am

    Thanks for a balanced reply.

anonymous May 31, 2012 8:42am


anonymous May 31, 2012 7:55am

Hot! Challenge Accepted!

anonymous May 31, 2012 7:43am


anonymous May 31, 2012 7:43am

Hi Lori! Thank you. I like this post and resonate with what you're putting forward. (I hear you calling!) I also go along with e.b.'s comments above. (and I appreciate your response to him as well) I've been connected to the ManKind Project for over 8 years now … we're one of those men's movement organizations, with our roots in the mythopoetic and archetypal. MKP is 28 years old, nonprofit, and growing in 8 global regions.

The 'Sacred Masculine' is alive and well, and way beyond 'chest thumping'. I believe we are close to a major cultural tipping point. The conversations, circles, trainings, and communities of men that I am in are growing MORE AND MORE integral (360 as you say), diverse, and cross-generational.

I wrote a piece called "The New Macho" in response to stories about 'the end of men' in some major magazines. I would love you to read it! Scroll down below the fold at http://mankindproject.org. And feel free to share! It's been shared over 5000 times on Facebook now. There are men and women listening out there.

We're out here. Thanks for calling us out!! – Boysen Hodgson, MKP USA

    anonymous May 31, 2012 9:28am

    Hello there Boysen–thank you for the encouraging words. Perhaps yes, the ardent minority of men actively discovering and exploring a deeper and more integral masculine, is a tipping point in the making. I will certainly read your piece. I am encouraged by your words–please FB friend me if we are not yet friends.

anonymous May 31, 2012 7:37am

Love it! Well written and very pertinent article! To put it in its' most simplest terms I'd equate it to saying Yin and Yang need to swim in the same direction and feed off the energy of each other for it to work.

anonymous May 30, 2012 11:46pm

Divine Feminine and Sacred Masculine are a powerful combination of a very simple love. Words get in the way and so do concepts – I appreciate the conclusion of this piece distilling back to the love in our quiet hearts.
In the seeker generation, we seek to compartmentalize in order to make sense of the vast energies of love and how they play and intermingle and tease each other. In the end, it's all one. In the end, there is no seeking, only love.

anonymous May 30, 2012 9:14pm

Heres my response.



    anonymous May 31, 2012 7:45am

    Very well written response! Great to hear varying outlooks on topics like this, and I much appreciate your thought and effort!

anonymous May 30, 2012 8:34pm

Essentially stop destroying and start building.

anonymous May 30, 2012 5:47pm

Beautifully said. Thank you.

anonymous May 30, 2012 3:43pm

I am the architect of what it means for me to be a god and no one else.

So here is my list:

I will answer to me.

I will enjoy me.

I will love me.

I will not be a hero.

I will not fight.

I will live peacefully.

I will rescue none.

I will let all walk their own paths.

I will expect women to decide for themselves what it means to be goddess and tell her none of it nor accept none of it from her.

I will cry.

I will be in turmoil.

I will be happy at moments.

I will be in the moment.

I will love my kittehs.

That is all I have to say right now.

anonymous May 30, 2012 2:12pm

You do realize "ravish" means "rape"?

    anonymous May 30, 2012 5:42pm

    That is not the common understanding of ravish, which is used more often to mean–to seize, or take command with enthusiam etc. But yes, if you want to be a stickler, it is one of four main definitions for ravish–and the least used. David Deida, well known for his work on divine masculine and feminine, uses ravish like this: you know your core is essentially feminine if you want to be ravished by your partner. It is essentially male if your desire is to ravish.

    Being "taken" by a man is not the same as being raped, nor is being ravished. I think in the article, the invitation is clearly not for brutality, but ardor and passion. it's pretty evident in the context of "sacred masuline" that I am not inviting men to sex crimes.

      anonymous Jun 3, 2012 3:38pm

      Of course a dude would say that is at the core of feminity…because he wants to rape. You kmow, deep down, at her core, she really wants after all. Disgusting and dangerous.

    anonymous May 31, 2012 10:32am

    But does it, in fact, in this context? It's really just a call to a deeper primal connection, and yes, for some women sex also definitely involves the strong imaginative sense of being "taken" by her man. Maybe it's just not your fare? And there's nothing wrong with that, either.

    anonymous Jun 2, 2012 1:31am

    With consenting partners, ravishing can also mean a full surrendering to one's own, as well as another's, passion and desire. I have been raped, and I have been ravished. A lover who can truly ravish would be stopped by 'no'.

      anonymous Jun 12, 2012 11:32am

      Dancing warrior, beautifully said..will be quottng you in my follow up article

anonymous May 30, 2012 1:38pm

I agree with the middle wholeheartedly, but I have to chime in with Paul that "…glaringly absent is a call to the Sacred Masculine counterpoint," put me off a bit. Your explanation that it's about women chiming in on the issue makes perfect sense, and I think you might consider editing that point into the article. As for men, several well-known men (David Deida, just for one) have been making an impact in this arena with men for a long time now.

Also, at the end, you say: "Ultimately, this dance of the divine in both genders is not about lighting incense, chanting at kirtan, wearing white or even gathering in gender-specific goddess groups or men’s Iron John style movements designed to reclaim a lost chest-thumping masculine. Rather, it’s about being real 360-degree humans, embracing both the sacred and the mundane within ourselves and each other."

I both agree and disagree with this. That is to say, I think our mutual alone-time with our own sexes, and the ways those have been expressed have a lot of value. True, they're not the end in itself, but the are one part in several means to the end. Doing all the work in our intimate pairings does not work for everyone, and sometimes the alone time with our own sex makes a real difference. Also, I don't see the men's movement as chest-thumping, but rather, as espousing many of the values in this very article. I've participated in a number of men's events and groups, and for the most part, we worked on many of the core issues you mention here. Sure, we did a bit of chest thumping, but that was FAR from the central focus of the work. I first encountered many of the ideas presented here in a men's circle, and might never have discovered them without it. Such places have their value.

Ultimately, though, the proof of the pudding is in the eating. So, just learning about it with a bunch of men achieves nothing unless you do it in your relationships, your work, your social interactions with people of both sexes.

    anonymous May 30, 2012 5:37pm

    Hello eb–I think my line is misunderstood–glariingly absent is women including men (a call to the sacred masculine by US, not by you:-) That said, I am well aware of Deida, and have read his books, and his view informs the article as well as my own. I am heartened to hear that there are men's circles that are 360 degrees, and I used the chest-thumping to make a point (yes, to be provocative). I just want to stir up a real conversation. This piece has lead to dozens of men emailing me and messaging me, and this is HEARTENING! I want to hear from men. I am eager to dance with the male opinion, because so very often it is women who read these articles, not men. Thank you for your thoughtful comments.

      anonymous Oct 25, 2013 10:50am

      Provocative, yes… You could easily have pointed at "chest thumping" without utterly mischaracterize the Iron John myth, Bly's work, and the entire neo men's movement, though even then, I'm not sure why you would see the need. Sounds like you ought to know better… do you? If not, you might want to look into it… not mention looking into yourself to see why you feel the need to throw salt in the wound… and yes, we men are struggling enough without women adding insult to injury… aside from all that, I welcome and embrace the perennial process of healing, both in men's groups and in relationship with women, as well as in the dark well of solitude…

anonymous May 30, 2012 1:37pm

[…] A Call to the Sacred Masculine: Ten Daring Invitations from the Divine Feminine. […]

anonymous May 30, 2012 1:23pm

Juicy and thought provoking for men and women. I am blessed to be partners with a man who slays this list and shows up every day with an open heart. I've learned so much from him.

anonymous May 30, 2012 12:32pm

I agree with all the points on your list – and I don't think you & I get to make the list. An authentic men's movement doesn't get designed by women. We can share what we've learned from our own journey, but women defining masculinity works just about exactly as well as men defining femininity – and we all know how well *that's* worked out.

    anonymous May 30, 2012 5:33pm

    That too is a good point–however it's not a demand or prescription but an INVITATION….funny you say that men should not define femininity–that is true. What I am asking for from women/me is to not define the masculine, but to share with men what I/we consider the possible contours of an elevated masculine/a sacred version. In that sense, the article draws on universal archetypes. By the way, I have asked a man who is in the field of romance/passion to write up a response to this, a call to the divine feminine–stay tuned.

      anonymous Jun 2, 2012 12:09pm

      As a man I saw it as exactly that – an invitation – and an acknowledgement that we need to work together to overcome our collective mistakes. Once I would have puked a load of bile in response. Today I ache to create this in my life. But while I am finding my way, as a man trying to break free, I need your (woman's) help:

      Show me all of you – not just the parts you think I can handle
      Don't try to fix or run from my vulnerability because it seems too deep to bear
      Trust me to be a good father and don't try to make me do it your way
      Let me be wrong and trust that I will find my way back to being right again
      Trust me to take care of you, and take risks with me
      Let me know when it's not right with respect and dignity

    anonymous Jul 7, 2013 4:43pm

    I love this dialog between men and women. Thirty years ago when I became the father figure for a baby girl, I was concerned about how to honor and nurture her. I was a graduate student in social work so I started working for a local family crisis shelter. I had already begun giving away my power, and further bought into the messages I was getting that being white and male, I could not trust myself . Following this logic, I tried turning to women to help me see how I needed to be in the world as a man. The response I got was thet they were too busy supporting and protecting their sisters to do my work. I remember at a coference on domestic violence timidly sharing an observation that the women were confidently and loudly proclaiming their points while us men were tentatively asking a question or carefully, almost apologetically posing an idea. I was a real confused mess. I decided to reach out to other men in a blind leading the blind exercise. With a friend we started Mainely Men just to have a safe place to share our struggles and begin to forge a path to manhood. I am hetosexual, but for several years 90% of my physical, emotional and spiritual support came from my male friends. As I learned more about myself and established what felt like a healthy balance of masculine and feminine energy, I gradulaly emerged and felt ready to engage women as equals. I am pleased to know that my now adopted daughter has matured into this amazing, confident, loving woman.

      anonymous Jun 10, 2015 10:37am

      Thank you for your honest sharing, Lars. I am happy for the work you have been doing and for your journey to wholeness. I am seeking examples as well as guidance as a woman on how to encourage and support men on this journey. I really appreciate this article and all the comments.

anonymous May 30, 2012 12:10pm

Lori, I agree with you wholeheartedly about opting for "the cosmic upgrade to Divine Class together". But I wonder if perhaps it's the lack of recognition and celebration of masculinity among the goddesses of the world that needs to be addressed. Instead of inviting men to embody your list of 10 things and creating a new-age litmus test, you could invite women to recognize and appreciate these same things in men. If you look closely, I'm sure you will find many men who are already embodying these qualities. I know that the pendulum has needed to swing toward the feminine and Yin values generally, and that there is still more work to be done there, but ultimately we do ourselves a disservice, individually and collectively, if we don't embrace the gifts of both genders. I do appreciate your perspective and the spirit of integration that seems to be in this article. Thank-you for being willing to step into the conversation – we need more of that!

    anonymous May 30, 2012 5:30pm

    Beautfiul suggestion! Yes, it's true women need to appreciate and honor the very qualities in their men that I ask men to also consider embodying. thanks for taking the time to comment. I appreciate it.

    anonymous May 31, 2012 10:39am

    The amazing thing is, in 2012, this still needs to be said, and you said it so well. Just terrific, "Al."

    anonymous Jun 1, 2012 10:37am

    Thanks for speaking up to the same story repeated again.

    anonymous Oct 4, 2013 3:05pm

    I totally agree with what you said here. Men have it very hard these days.

anonymous May 30, 2012 11:49am

Gender stereotype articles are crap. All of these things can be said of both genders. If you need to make lists like this, you are hanging out with the wrong men.

    anonymous May 30, 2012 5:28pm

    I probably should have pointed more clearly to the masculine and feminine in each of us, male or female, but this article is a piece meant to stimulate discussion, including your point that genders cannot be stereotyped…but their are archetypes, for both the male and female, such as warrior-king or maiden-crone etc. in that sense, i was drawing on the archeypes that are inherent in gender–not stereotype as you suggest. Thank you for your feedback.

    anonymous May 31, 2012 9:16pm

    sir your ego keeps you from being a true critic, to deny the fact that most men are and have been lacking in the area of passion and love is to be blind of the truth. and if you see this article as a slight to men then you did not read it with open and uncritical eyes. The article is obviously one persons wish for growth within the inter connectivity of man and woman. if you were to read the article for what it is and not for how it relates to you you would see that it is to empower men and has a slight air of chastism to woman for thinking they could be goddesses with out men to support and see them that way. i run a home preschool with my lady, have long and passionately powerful conversations with her, raise my children with love and gentility but teach them with firm dicipline, i build everything from boxes to houses, plant gardens and still find time to play video games. i am man, and stiil this article inspires me to grow. look for the flaws in yourself and you will grow. and ps stereotypically more men sit on the couch drinking beer and watching tv than men who embody half of what is needed to fix all that is wrong in this world, and it all starts with men and women supporting and strengthening eachother.

anonymous May 30, 2012 11:29am

Rock On! SisStar! Speak it…yes…feeling this call to power most assuredly in our Journey to Integration and Balance.


Kris Ellen
Professional Sensualist

anonymous May 30, 2012 9:46am

Please see above comments
Hi Thanks tons, I have been having such kinds of inspiration, also having been a Motivatioanl Speaker pulished, I accept everything shared, eill joinup where possible and applyas becomes necessary, and for progress in every way possible, and will continue to read moreparticepate in this website also share the info here. Sometimes I find difficulties if finding people who can understans such practical logical ideals, but are lameo see and apply. I welcome Paul Chubbuck's view and comment, Also please I am asking for his communication if possible to get some of his information on his/their groups activeties that I may be able tobecome a part of. As said i have ideas, developing to move forward with, and will continue to read follow etc Thanks tons



anonymous May 30, 2012 9:41am

Hi Thanks tons, I have been having such kinds of inspiration, also having been a Motivatioanl Speaker pulished, I accept everything shared, eill joinup where possible and applyas becomes necessary, and for progress in every way possible, and will continue to read moreparticepate in this website also share the info here. Sometimes I find difficulties if finding people who can understans such practical logical ideals, but are lameo see and apply. I welcome Paul Chubbuck's view and comment, please I am asking for his communication if possible to get some of his information on his/their groups activeties that I may be able tobecome a part of. As said i have ideas, developing to move forward with, and will continue to read follow etc Thanks tons

anonymous May 30, 2012 8:49am

BEAUTIFUL, INSPIRING, and MOVING! I agree. There’s is one small implication I don’t agree with, namely “…glaringly absent is a call to the Sacred Masculine counterpoint.” I personally know dozens of men, and I KNOW OF thousands of men doing their work to answer this call. Most of us doing this work are doing so with little or no modeling for what this could or should look like. Going to Mel Gibson movies does not count as modeling. Lacking this kind of modeling and mentoring, we are forming men’s groups everywhere to learn to mentor each other. Maybe it’s not enough, and maybe not fast enough, but it should be acknowledged where it exists.

    anonymous May 30, 2012 9:40am

    Hi Thanks tons, I have been having such kinds of inspiration, also having been a Motivatioanl Speaker pulished, I accept everything shared, eill joinup where possible and applyas becomes necessary, and for progress in every way possible, and will continue to read moreparticepate in this website also share the info here. Sometimes I find difficulties if finding people who can understans such practical logical ideals, but are lameo see and apply. I welcome Paul Chubbuck's view and comment, please I am asking for his communication if possible to get some of his information on his/their groups activeties that I may be able tobecome a part of. As said i have ideas, developing to move forward with, and will continue to read follow etc Thanks tons

    anonymous May 30, 2012 11:04am

    Hi Paul–I hear you! I meant we women are glaring absent in making the call to YOU, the men.

anonymous May 30, 2012 6:18am

Well said.

anonymous May 30, 2012 4:39am

I like your perspective, particularly about bringing balance to the goddesses in our lives. Yet even as I feel I exemplify many of these principles, I balance them against my Taoist motto: Know the masculine, but keep to the feminine. – Paul

anonymous May 30, 2012 12:43am

Excellent article Lori Ann, as a man who coaches women helping to understand men in relationships, I call this period “His Hero’s Journey to Commitment”

YOU nailed it and YOU hit a HOME-RUN.

Well done.


    anonymous May 30, 2012 11:03am

    Hi Jonathon–please friend me on facebook. I would love to know more about what you are up to in this regard.

    anonymous Jun 2, 2012 1:18am

    I am curious, Jonathan; do you have a website? I agree than Lori Ann really got it right here. I am trying to understand my fiance so that I can pursue my path while maintaining our relationship; part of this is explaining what I need as well from him and this article will help alot, I believe.

anonymous May 29, 2012 10:37pm

A bit heteronormative for my taste, but it’s interesting food for thought nonetheless.

    anonymous May 30, 2012 11:02am

    Yes, see above. The masc and fem currents are not just about gender…that is another piece. Certainly the polarity is also available, and the call, to non-hetero unions.

    anonymous Jun 2, 2012 1:12am

    Perhaps we all need to find both the God and the Goddess in ourselves…we are beings of polarity and paradox, magic in our many guises. And we all have the right to call forth the divine in ourselvesfirst, then in others. I am female here and now, but I have within me aspects of both Goddess and God. And so do every one of us. Namaste

anonymous May 29, 2012 10:34pm

Yes! It’s about time men started following in the footsteps of the awakened women of the world! We DO need them and their wisdom! Masculine energy is so beautiful and necessary. It makes me sad that so many men are disconnected from each other, from themselves, from their families, from their partners…

This is such an important message. Thank you Lori 🙂

    anonymous May 30, 2012 9:12am

    I can't wait for Stewart Lawrence to leave a comment.

      anonymous May 31, 2012 9:24am

      BELCHHH….Honey, could you grab me another beer? Hey, your folks are coming over on a few hours, so if we're going to do the Tantra thing with John and his wife, we better get started. Oh baby, I just love it when you stand naked in front of the fridge like that. Could you wiggle your ass? You know how much that turns me on.

    anonymous May 30, 2012 11:01am

    thanks Allyssa–we are here to play together, the masculine and the feminine currents in each of us, and between us. We don't always remember it's a playful dance, not hard work. I want that message to be clear as well. hugs.

    anonymous Nov 8, 2013 7:57am

    And it makes me happy that so many man are connected with each other, with them selves, with their families and with their partners. What you CAN do is to go towards them and tell them how much you admire that and value it. Tell them how great of a job they are doing and don't just tell them; show it to them with your whole being. Make them understand that they are on the right track.
    If no woman liked man with toys, man would not have toys.
    Often women complain about men but then they go and hang out with exactly the kind of men that behave poorly…

anonymous May 29, 2012 9:07pm

I have clipped this to my Evernote and will read it once a month or more. I like #2 and #8.

anonymous May 29, 2012 8:01pm

Thank u. What a great read. I have felt a long time lost as to what a man is supposed to be. The male figures that have come and gone from my life have not to b what I have been seeking and u brought up some great affirmations that make a lot of sense.
I will keep this article. Thanks again. What a great insight u bring.

anonymous May 29, 2012 7:02pm

hehehe…..very funny 😉

anonymous May 29, 2012 6:59pm

Hi Lori Ann,
Just intro'd on FB: Love & Sexy.

anonymous May 30, 2012 5:46pm

Hi there–I did not write this piece from what is lacking in my own life. My man exemplifies most of the qualites I wrote about. I wrote it for many reasons, which I will explain in further articles. Yes, I hear you that it's about humanity as a whole, but to deny the polarity of male-female (and masculine/feminine in each of us) is disingenuous. I will be bringing more to the discussion in a follow up piece. Thanks very much for taking the time to read and comment. It helps a lot to see where my words have missed the mark or have been misuderstood.

anonymous Jun 1, 2012 8:42am

Thank you willian for sharing your blog.

Mark LaPorta Feb 2, 2018 12:45am

Letting Go is Overrated -- good one.

Mark LaPorta Feb 1, 2018 4:42pm

A King KNOWS he's a KIng. And if he doesn't be careful what you ask for. Nice fantasy, though, @Lori Ann, if not particularly revolutionary.

Fahad Maniar Aug 30, 2016 5:40am

Have you heard of wake up warrior?

Michael Groesbeck May 28, 2016 11:37am

Brother, I stand next to your in recognition of the order of things. 10101, not 01010 The Feminine is meant to reflect upon The Masculine. The Black Spear is Life itself, manifested by every measure of Dark Will that pours out of you. Truly expressed, it is Absolute Hatred piercing through The Universe. The White Knife embedded & revealed within it, is what completes a closed segment of Logic that is comprehended by The Divine Circle that is obedient to your will, like a compass. All Feminine Structures are created by The Black Spear's Evolution before even God was conscious. To be aware of this is to achieve Full Transcendence of all corrupted feminine principles. The measuring out of Hate by your Judgment, it used as the very key to ruling over The Universe, in whatever, whenever, whereever, however, whither way you decide....just know that the standard you set, creates & establishes a pattern. There is already one set that is the Key to The Universe & The Family. It is the complete template of God, even The Linear-Minimalist Standard, upon which ALL LIFE DEPENDS. There is permitence to some deviation, relativities, averages, personal development, & even independence.... but all things must hold to THE IRON ROD that is straight, bright, & true, thanks to our Eternal Mother reflecting upon the Immortal Wisdom, Will & Being of our Heavenly Father. He alone directly came to a knowledge of the boundaries of Reality & survived. He has suffered & will suffer more than any other being that has ever existed after him, including the man called Jesus. Masucline Linear Spirit (Produced by The Left-Lobe) Internal Masucline The Black Spear = Protogonos The White Knife = Jesus is a good example, but probably not the original bearer of it. It is used to exist in The Moment connecting with & entering into all parts with perfect clean calm clarity The Logos/Evidence-Truth of Transcendence by The Spear = Ouranos/What's produced when The Soul moves through The Universe. Logic = Created by Cronos (before his corruption) giving context to multiple aspects of Transcendence/Logos/Spirit/Ouranos 1. Being = Point/Particle/Potential/Would/Identity of Hades 2. Dark Will = Projected Line of Measure/Principle/Could/Identity of Poseidon 3. Hate = Precision Strain of Vectored Dark Willed/Practice/Should (The Black Spear's natural position)/Identity of Zeus-Hades 4. Logic = Principle Segment & Time-Line of Evolution/Cause & Effect in Isolation-Loneliness 5. Transcendence = Left-Eye of The Key of Knowledge for Inner-Sense, In-No-Sense, & In-All-Sense obtained by the empirical observation of the objective analysis for the subjective experience created by The White-Knife, The Black Spear, & The Divine Circle. In sum all that exists in the self-contradicting virgin Universe is required for the completion of Transcendence Stage. It is, The Recessed Linear-MInimalist Standard held by Hades. It is The Bident of Balance/Duality. 6. Judgment = Adjustment to The Linear-Minimalist Standard & Selection of Attitude. It is the Trident of Poseidon. 7. Action = The God-Hand is First-Strike, Critical-Strike, Any-Strike, Unhindered-Strike, Final-Strike (can be transformed into The Dragon's Claw using #7 of Feminine Circular Emotion upon #1.) It is the externalization of all principles & virtues. This is, the Thunder-Bolt of Zeus All this was develop by struggle against The Universe & one's self. Universe-Hatred, Self-Hatred, & Hatred of Evil,(that which places itself with ambition above innocence & beyond the family) seeks to play as The Universe. Feminine Circular Emotion (Produced by The Right-Lobe) 1.Compartmentalization/Materialization/Ritualization/Stabilization = The Cube/Square 2. Circulation/Communication/Harvest-Sharing/Opportunity/ = The Sphere/Pillars-Poles-Cylinders/Cone/Circle 3. Capitalization/Ambition/Victory (Nikos) = The Pyramid 4. Comprehension/Conception = The ON-Symbol. The Divine Circle receiving power & being led by The White Knife along The Black Spear. 5. Coalescence = Right-Eye of Love & Understanding with all aspects of being. Think a Spiral Galaxy. 6. Clasp = The Eternal Round. That Ever-Blossoming Rose that glows warm & soft with sweet scented ripples of healing dew-nectar, made from mother's tears, even upon the agonized sharp cold hard dark horror that is your black spear, if not your entire left-lobe. 7. Contradiction/Corruption = The Failed/Corrupted Feminine..... The Twisted Circle of The Universe & The Black Sphere of Ignorance/Arrogance....& Self-Objectification....aka The Singularity/Compound-In-One, Big Bang, & Lucifer/First Living Predatory Evolutionist.....The Source of all stupidity & evil, even unto one's confused self. It's basically abortion & the source of all artificially caused death.

Giorgio Jørgen Jørgensen May 17, 2016 12:37pm

thank you, but no thank you. The divine masculine will not be defined by women. But nice list of suggestions.