A Call to the Sacred Masculine: Ten Daring Invitations from the Divine Feminine.

Via Lori Ann Lothian
on May 29, 2012
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Photo: Michael Julian Berz

If I am going to act like a goddess, I want a man who acts like a god.

Yet all this talk lately of the goddess and the Divine Feminine seems like new-age wishful thinking, a fantasy archetype with as much to do with real life as Superwoman or the Fairy God Mother.

couple

While goddess propagandists promote the unilateral concept of a spiritually elevated womanhood—strong but supple, decisive and nurturing, wild yet wise—glaringly absent is a call to the Sacred Masculine counterpoint. Women can forever rally around each other, cheerleading new heights of intuitive and open-hearted power, but without the cooperation of menfolk stealing their own fire from the gods, we are preaching to the sistah choir.

Bottomline? Organizing a spiritual revolution as women without inviting men to the front lines with us means we are orchestrating a collective reframe with only half the available power. Real change means humanity—yes both genders—opts for the cosmic upgrade to Divine Class together.

So, on behalf of the X chromosome, here is my invitation to mortal men who wish to dance as gods with wanna-be goddesses.

1. Show us your heroic heart. We know you want to save what is worth saving and to rescue this planet from peril. Wage a hero’s battle against poverty, needless strife, environmental ruin or whatever stirs your courageous heart. It might be a plan to increase your neighborhood safety, to improve your child’s education, to plant a vegetable garden in your backyard or to stop prejudice wherever you see it. The world needs your brave heart to take bold action.

2. Unsheathe your sword. As a man, you wield a sword of truth that can cut through cultural distractions to what really matters. The faster car, the better sports team, the bigger salary are all fine and dandy but on your deathbed, what unfulfilled vision will you regret the most? What risk did you back away from? What chance did you refuse to take? Before you die, be bold enough to discover and live your truth.

3. Dare to dream. Before you played the role of mortal, you (well, we) created the heavens and earth. What do you wish to create here and now? What beautiful order do you wish to bring forth from the chaos of this world. What implausible dream do you want to manifest for the greater good of all? It doesn’t have to be grand, like solving world hunger. It can be simple, like solving your child’s homework problem because you are dedicated to being a great father. All we care about is that something brings you alive with passion.

4. Steer the ship. Aim your life for a noble horizon. It’s not like there’s a second in command who will captain your destiny while you snooze on the sofa after too many beers and potato chips with the TV droning in the background. Get to the helm of your life and navigate by your own pole star, the true north of your heart’s burning desire. Tip: if you don’t know what port you’re headed for, no wind is favorable.

5. Bring your soul to work. Work for more than the mortgage and car payments—work because you find some measure of joy in your job. And if the job is just to make ends meet for now, then meet that employment with gratitude and a call to service. Know that it’s not what you do, but what you bring to what you do, that matters.

6. Care deeply. As a man, you might have been taught to feel lightly and think hard, to hold your emotions back, as if you can build a dam against what naturally must flow. But your caring is what this world cries for. The tender-hearted masculine is both wise and merciful. When you weep, you give women permission to be strong. When your heart breaks we want to know it so that we can heal it together.

7. Love fearlessly. Show us the way by standing firm when we are in a beautiful rage. Don’t run from our fury—after all it might contain magical wisdom. In the gale force of feminine anger, your calm is a powerful reminder that we are met and accepted by our beloved partner.

8. Ravish your woman. Every now and then, take her wholeheartedly, without apology. Press her against a wall and bind her with your kisses. Possess your goddess, oh great god that you are, and then let her possess you. Polarity is a potent nectar and the current runs both ways.

9. Slay your demons. We all have them, the dark part of our hearts, the crevices where our fear and loathing hideout. Notice what keeps you awake at night and stalk it. Hunt your darkness and drag it into the light for loving and healing.

10. Leave your mark. Don’t settle for a fleeting cameo in which your appearance in this kingdom is so quickly forgotten. What do you want your children to say about you? Your great-grandchildren? The greatest legacy is not the wealth you leave behind, but your heartfelt message that echoes forward to future generations.

Ultimately, this dance of the divine in both genders is not about lighting incense, chanting at kirtan, wearing white or even gathering in gender-specific goddess groups or men’s Iron John style movements designed to reclaim a lost chest-thumping masculine. Rather, it’s about being real 360-degree humans, embracing both the sacred and the mundane within ourselves and each other.

When men are willing to meet women heart-first and to live from that divine place of kingly wisdom, warrior courage and boy-like vulnerability, we women are given the gift of receiving all of you. And we are given permission to reveal all of who we are—the nurturing goddess, the juicy seductress and yes, even the nasty b*tch.

In the end, the call to a Divine Feminine and Sacred Masculine is perhaps just the simple yearning to get out of our crazy-busy heads and into our still-knowing hearts. As Rumi says, “I looked in Temples, Churches and Mosques. I found the Divine in my heart.”

Whatever the divine really is, let’s find it together.

Bonus:

The qualities to look for in a partner:

Letting Go is Overrated.

 

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About Lori Ann Lothian

Lori Ann Lothian is a spiritual revolutionary, divine magic maker and all-purpose scribe. Her articles on love, relationships, enlightenment and sex have appeared at Huffington Post, Good Men Project, Yoganonymous, Origin magazine, Better After 50, XO Jane and on her hit personal blog The Awakened Dreamer. She is also the creator of The 40 Day Magic Challenge. a daily practice to create a masterpiece life of ease, flow, joy and prosperity. Lori Ann lives in Vancouver, Canada, with her husband and daughter, where she has learned to transcend the rain and surrender to mega doses of vitamin D. Tweet her at Twitter

Comments

216 Responses to “A Call to the Sacred Masculine: Ten Daring Invitations from the Divine Feminine.”

  1. MamasteNJ says:

    Hi Lori Ann,
    Just intro'd on FB: Love & Sexy.
    ~Mamaste

  2. Mary says:

    hehehe…..very funny 😉

  3. Joseph Russell says:

    Thank u. What a great read. I have felt a long time lost as to what a man is supposed to be. The male figures that have come and gone from my life have not to b what I have been seeking and u brought up some great affirmations that make a lot of sense.
    I will keep this article. Thanks again. What a great insight u bring.

  4. Spencer says:

    I have clipped this to my Evernote and will read it once a month or more. I like #2 and #8.

  5. Allyssa says:

    Yes! It’s about time men started following in the footsteps of the awakened women of the world! We DO need them and their wisdom! Masculine energy is so beautiful and necessary. It makes me sad that so many men are disconnected from each other, from themselves, from their families, from their partners…

    This is such an important message. Thank you Lori 🙂

  6. Taigitsune says:

    A bit heteronormative for my taste, but it’s interesting food for thought nonetheless.

  7. Excellent article Lori Ann, as a man who coaches women helping to understand men in relationships, I call this period “His Hero’s Journey to Commitment”

    YOU nailed it and YOU hit a HOME-RUN.

    Well done.

    Jonathon

  8. progcpl says:

    I like your perspective, particularly about bringing balance to the goddesses in our lives. Yet even as I feel I exemplify many of these principles, I balance them against my Taoist motto: Know the masculine, but keep to the feminine. – Paul

  9. BEAUTIFUL, INSPIRING, and MOVING! I agree. There’s is one small implication I don’t agree with, namely “…glaringly absent is a call to the Sacred Masculine counterpoint.” I personally know dozens of men, and I KNOW OF thousands of men doing their work to answer this call. Most of us doing this work are doing so with little or no modeling for what this could or should look like. Going to Mel Gibson movies does not count as modeling. Lacking this kind of modeling and mentoring, we are forming men’s groups everywhere to learn to mentor each other. Maybe it’s not enough, and maybe not fast enough, but it should be acknowledged where it exists.

  10. elephantjournal says:

    I can't wait for Stewart Lawrence to leave a comment.

  11. Robert Artist says:

    Hi Thanks tons, I have been having such kinds of inspiration, also having been a Motivatioanl Speaker pulished, I accept everything shared, eill joinup where possible and applyas becomes necessary, and for progress in every way possible, and will continue to read moreparticepate in this website also share the info here. Sometimes I find difficulties if finding people who can understans such practical logical ideals, but are lameo see and apply. I welcome Paul Chubbuck's view and comment, please I am asking for his communication if possible to get some of his information on his/their groups activeties that I may be able tobecome a part of. As said i have ideas, developing to move forward with, and will continue to read follow etc Thanks tons

  12. Robert Artist says:

    Hi Thanks tons, I have been having such kinds of inspiration, also having been a Motivatioanl Speaker pulished, I accept everything shared, eill joinup where possible and applyas becomes necessary, and for progress in every way possible, and will continue to read moreparticepate in this website also share the info here. Sometimes I find difficulties if finding people who can understans such practical logical ideals, but are lameo see and apply. I welcome Paul Chubbuck's view and comment, please I am asking for his communication if possible to get some of his information on his/their groups activeties that I may be able tobecome a part of. As said i have ideas, developing to move forward with, and will continue to read follow etc Thanks tons

  13. Robby Artist says:

    Please see above comments
    Hi Thanks tons, I have been having such kinds of inspiration, also having been a Motivatioanl Speaker pulished, I accept everything shared, eill joinup where possible and applyas becomes necessary, and for progress in every way possible, and will continue to read moreparticepate in this website also share the info here. Sometimes I find difficulties if finding people who can understans such practical logical ideals, but are lameo see and apply. I welcome Paul Chubbuck's view and comment, Also please I am asking for his communication if possible to get some of his information on his/their groups activeties that I may be able tobecome a part of. As said i have ideas, developing to move forward with, and will continue to read follow etc Thanks tons

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    Reply

  14. thanks Allyssa–we are here to play together, the masculine and the feminine currents in each of us, and between us. We don't always remember it's a playful dance, not hard work. I want that message to be clear as well. hugs.

  15. Yes, see above. The masc and fem currents are not just about gender…that is another piece. Certainly the polarity is also available, and the call, to non-hetero unions.

  16. Hi Jonathon–please friend me on facebook. I would love to know more about what you are up to in this regard.

  17. Hi Paul–I hear you! I meant we women are glaring absent in making the call to YOU, the men.

  18. You are welcome!

  19. Kris Elleb says:

    Rock On! SisStar! Speak it…yes…feeling this call to power most assuredly in our Journey to Integration and Balance.

    Aho!

    Blessings,
    Kris Ellen
    Professional Sensualist

  20. cureforsanity says:

    Gender stereotype articles are crap. All of these things can be said of both genders. If you need to make lists like this, you are hanging out with the wrong men.

  21. alrishi says:

    Lori, I agree with you wholeheartedly about opting for "the cosmic upgrade to Divine Class together". But I wonder if perhaps it's the lack of recognition and celebration of masculinity among the goddesses of the world that needs to be addressed. Instead of inviting men to embody your list of 10 things and creating a new-age litmus test, you could invite women to recognize and appreciate these same things in men. If you look closely, I'm sure you will find many men who are already embodying these qualities. I know that the pendulum has needed to swing toward the feminine and Yin values generally, and that there is still more work to be done there, but ultimately we do ourselves a disservice, individually and collectively, if we don't embrace the gifts of both genders. I do appreciate your perspective and the spirit of integration that seems to be in this article. Thank-you for being willing to step into the conversation – we need more of that!

  22. I agree with all the points on your list – and I don't think you & I get to make the list. An authentic men's movement doesn't get designed by women. We can share what we've learned from our own journey, but women defining masculinity works just about exactly as well as men defining femininity – and we all know how well *that's* worked out.

  23. Shann says:

    Juicy and thought provoking for men and women. I am blessed to be partners with a man who slays this list and shows up every day with an open heart. I've learned so much from him.

  24. […] A Call to the Sacred Masculine: Ten Daring Invitations from the Divine Feminine. […]

  25. e.b. sarver says:

    I agree with the middle wholeheartedly, but I have to chime in with Paul that "…glaringly absent is a call to the Sacred Masculine counterpoint," put me off a bit. Your explanation that it's about women chiming in on the issue makes perfect sense, and I think you might consider editing that point into the article. As for men, several well-known men (David Deida, just for one) have been making an impact in this arena with men for a long time now.

    Also, at the end, you say: "Ultimately, this dance of the divine in both genders is not about lighting incense, chanting at kirtan, wearing white or even gathering in gender-specific goddess groups or men’s Iron John style movements designed to reclaim a lost chest-thumping masculine. Rather, it’s about being real 360-degree humans, embracing both the sacred and the mundane within ourselves and each other."

    I both agree and disagree with this. That is to say, I think our mutual alone-time with our own sexes, and the ways those have been expressed have a lot of value. True, they're not the end in itself, but the are one part in several means to the end. Doing all the work in our intimate pairings does not work for everyone, and sometimes the alone time with our own sex makes a real difference. Also, I don't see the men's movement as chest-thumping, but rather, as espousing many of the values in this very article. I've participated in a number of men's events and groups, and for the most part, we worked on many of the core issues you mention here. Sure, we did a bit of chest thumping, but that was FAR from the central focus of the work. I first encountered many of the ideas presented here in a men's circle, and might never have discovered them without it. Such places have their value.

    Ultimately, though, the proof of the pudding is in the eating. So, just learning about it with a bunch of men achieves nothing unless you do it in your relationships, your work, your social interactions with people of both sexes.

  26. Nicole says:

    You do realize "ravish" means "rape"?

  27. I am the architect of what it means for me to be a god and no one else.

    So here is my list:

    I will answer to me.

    I will enjoy me.

    I will love me.

    I will not be a hero.

    I will not fight.

    I will live peacefully.

    I will rescue none.

    I will let all walk their own paths.

    I will expect women to decide for themselves what it means to be goddess and tell her none of it nor accept none of it from her.

    I will cry.

    I will be in turmoil.

    I will be happy at moments.

    I will be in the moment.

    I will love my kittehs.

    That is all I have to say right now.

  28. I probably should have pointed more clearly to the masculine and feminine in each of us, male or female, but this article is a piece meant to stimulate discussion, including your point that genders cannot be stereotyped…but their are archetypes, for both the male and female, such as warrior-king or maiden-crone etc. in that sense, i was drawing on the archeypes that are inherent in gender–not stereotype as you suggest. Thank you for your feedback.

  29. Beautfiul suggestion! Yes, it's true women need to appreciate and honor the very qualities in their men that I ask men to also consider embodying. thanks for taking the time to comment. I appreciate it.

  30. That too is a good point–however it's not a demand or prescription but an INVITATION….funny you say that men should not define femininity–that is true. What I am asking for from women/me is to not define the masculine, but to share with men what I/we consider the possible contours of an elevated masculine/a sacred version. In that sense, the article draws on universal archetypes. By the way, I have asked a man who is in the field of romance/passion to write up a response to this, a call to the divine feminine–stay tuned.

  31. Hello eb–I think my line is misunderstood–glariingly absent is women including men (a call to the sacred masculine by US, not by you:-) That said, I am well aware of Deida, and have read his books, and his view informs the article as well as my own. I am heartened to hear that there are men's circles that are 360 degrees, and I used the chest-thumping to make a point (yes, to be provocative). I just want to stir up a real conversation. This piece has lead to dozens of men emailing me and messaging me, and this is HEARTENING! I want to hear from men. I am eager to dance with the male opinion, because so very often it is women who read these articles, not men. Thank you for your thoughtful comments.

  32. That is not the common understanding of ravish, which is used more often to mean–to seize, or take command with enthusiam etc. But yes, if you want to be a stickler, it is one of four main definitions for ravish–and the least used. David Deida, well known for his work on divine masculine and feminine, uses ravish like this: you know your core is essentially feminine if you want to be ravished by your partner. It is essentially male if your desire is to ravish.

    Being "taken" by a man is not the same as being raped, nor is being ravished. I think in the article, the invitation is clearly not for brutality, but ardor and passion. it's pretty evident in the context of "sacred masuline" that I am not inviting men to sex crimes.

  33. Hi there–I did not write this piece from what is lacking in my own life. My man exemplifies most of the qualites I wrote about. I wrote it for many reasons, which I will explain in further articles. Yes, I hear you that it's about humanity as a whole, but to deny the polarity of male-female (and masculine/feminine in each of us) is disingenuous. I will be bringing more to the discussion in a follow up piece. Thanks very much for taking the time to read and comment. It helps a lot to see where my words have missed the mark or have been misuderstood.

  34. Beautifully said. Thank you.

  35. Willem says:

    Essentially stop destroying and start building.

  36. Divine Feminine and Sacred Masculine are a powerful combination of a very simple love. Words get in the way and so do concepts – I appreciate the conclusion of this piece distilling back to the love in our quiet hearts.
    In the seeker generation, we seek to compartmentalize in order to make sense of the vast energies of love and how they play and intermingle and tease each other. In the end, it's all one. In the end, there is no seeking, only love.

  37. zblime says:

    Love it! Well written and very pertinent article! To put it in its' most simplest terms I'd equate it to saying Yin and Yang need to swim in the same direction and feed off the energy of each other for it to work.

  38. Hi Lori! Thank you. I like this post and resonate with what you're putting forward. (I hear you calling!) I also go along with e.b.'s comments above. (and I appreciate your response to him as well) I've been connected to the ManKind Project for over 8 years now … we're one of those men's movement organizations, with our roots in the mythopoetic and archetypal. MKP is 28 years old, nonprofit, and growing in 8 global regions.

    The 'Sacred Masculine' is alive and well, and way beyond 'chest thumping'. I believe we are close to a major cultural tipping point. The conversations, circles, trainings, and communities of men that I am in are growing MORE AND MORE integral (360 as you say), diverse, and cross-generational.

    I wrote a piece called "The New Macho" in response to stories about 'the end of men' in some major magazines. I would love you to read it! Scroll down below the fold at http://mankindproject.org. And feel free to share! It's been shared over 5000 times on Facebook now. There are men and women listening out there.

    We're out here. Thanks for calling us out!! – Boysen Hodgson, MKP USA

  39. Alexandra says:

    Awesome

  40. zblime says:

    Very well written response! Great to hear varying outlooks on topics like this, and I much appreciate your thought and effort!

  41. Scott says:

    Hot! Challenge Accepted!

  42. Heather says:

    Brilliant.

  43. Richard says:

    A step in a better direction. I am surrounded by self-proclaimed goddesses, and frankly, many are sexist a-holes. The divine feminine and goddess movement is too often an excuse for elevating oneself merely for being female and perceiving oneself as “better” than a male. Posit whatever justice-making rationale you want for such overtly hurtful and harmful behavior, but you are not helping yourself or others by competing in any way with the opposite sex. I agree that we all need to embrace our divine nature – BOTH masculine and feminine – within each and every one of us not separately according to body type. This author makes the same mistake in her wishful thinking about the divine masculine. If you re-read this entire thing and imagine it was written by a man imploring women to have the listed characteristics you would be hard pressed to say that none of these things apply to women too. The point? Quit polarizing masculine and feminine as imperatives outcomes of a set of chromosomes. It is NOT a universal truth as I’m sure there are planets with more than two genders… including our own … and my male chromosome doesn’t make me any less feminine in terms of my divine nature. Embrace it all.

  44. yogasamurai says:

    BELCHHH….Honey, could you grab me another beer? Hey, your folks are coming over on a few hours, so if we're going to do the Tantra thing with John and his wife, we better get started. Oh baby, I just love it when you stand naked in front of the fridge like that. Could you wiggle your ass? You know how much that turns me on.

  45. Hello there Boysen–thank you for the encouraging words. Perhaps yes, the ardent minority of men actively discovering and exploring a deeper and more integral masculine, is a tipping point in the making. I will certainly read your piece. I am encouraged by your words–please FB friend me if we are not yet friends.

  46. Richard–yes. I am well aware that the currents of masculine and feminine run through each gender. I am writing to say, what most embodies the expression of each, in a singular gender. Admittedly, I could and should perhaps have addressed that male/female is an archetype in it's own right, with active/passive, giving/receiving, spirit/form polarity. Ah, but that will be for the book 🙂 And I hear you, that goddess groups are often an excuse to hate men, passive aggressively.

  47. yogasamurai says:

    The stand-up guys commenting here are really, really out-classing the ladies. Rock on, brothers. Yes, we're a powerful world apart at this point – and loving it. Who knows, maybe we'll invite the women to the Divine dance soon? We just might not, though. It's too good the way it is.

    I do understand the deep longing and lack of fulfillment that underlies the original posting – but seek and ye shall find, Sister.

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