Did you know?
Unless there is a physical reason for your depression you don’t have to suffer from it for one more stinkin’ minute.
If you are depressed, try this: Stand still for one minute. Just observe your feelings, perceptions and thoughts.
Follow the feelings through to beyond this moment into the future.
See how you feel.
Watch as you create the past into the future. You have an expectation that how you just felt is how you will feel.
You just took the first step out of depression in becoming aware of yourself.
If you distract yourself from your emotions, you stay depressed.
Waiting for someday for your life to begin, it won’t, because you’ll still be you with those old thoughts, limiting beliefs and same ol’ approach.
Remember, many yesterdays ago, you thought you’d be happy by “now,” but hey…”right now” is your future.
Let’s look at six causes of depression.
1. Denying joy.
You don’t deserve joy, love, happiness, etc… until you’ve achieved, blah, blah, blah. I say b*llshit, because even when you achieve all those things, you’ll still have the same limiting beliefs that suffering and punishment are somehow the road to happiness.
Yuck, ick, bummer. You keep it all inside you, pushed down, shoved around…no one knows what you really feel. Where do you think that unexpressed emotion goes? It gets moldy layered in fear. The fear to recognize or be vulnerable with your feelings from your heart. You don’t trust yourself or anyone not to hurt or disappoint you. It’ll happen and you will survive.
Withholding is slow suffocation. You create obstacles making the relationship or situation fail. It’s a guarantee, because your limited beliefs say “this is what you deserve.”
It all happens to you. He did this, she did that, there was an earthquake, I didn’t gain weight my pants shrunk …it says I have no control over my life. It says I have no say and I make no choices, it’s too hard to change things or it’s my excuse to wallow in depression; its comfortable and safe. I do what is expected or adhere to my own limited perception, because I control nothing. It’s the blame game.
That little voice in your head…that’s you as a child.
It reminds you of your childhood where you chose labels for yourself. It gave you a place and a kooky idea of who you really are…and it ain’t true!!!!
4. Lack of love.
When you feel a tingling of love. What happens? Do you associate love with pain, suffering, loss of control? That’s not love!
It’s those pesky limiting beliefs that you’re not good enough and deserve to be alone, because once someone gets close to you, they’ll see what a loser you are….and because you believe this, you’ll create it!
Not taking action; doing what you don’t want to do to please an invisible or visible authority; investment in unrealistic expectations and commitment to doing it the same way.
Depression comes from holding on when things don’t work out, not letting go, not moving on and wanting things to be different, but doing nothing to change it.
6. Only commit to what feels crappy.
Depression comes from not living your life. It comes from one foot in and one foot out in your relationships. Staying miserable by not giving it your all or even giving your all to something you don’t want. Screw duty, find a different perception—it will change the duty.
And now for some remedies:
- Stop feeding what you don’t want. Say no, Say yes—whichever is holding you back—say more.
- You create depression by denying joy, fun and allowing. When you allow, your world changes.
- Stop waiting for the other shoe to drop. If you keep on believing pain must come, it will, because you create it!
- Take an emotional risk, one that makes your teeth chatter with nerves, uncomfortable and scared. You feel it??? If it scares the shit out of you, do it!! Do it now! Don’t wait!!
- If you love someone tell them, show them, be with them, holding back means you feel you don’t deserve the love or feeling good.
- Be vulnerable—it makes you brave. If you compartmentalize or separate your emotions from your everyday life—you are depressed! Feel your feelings—live it up and love your feelings, they’ll love you back when you allow them to coexist in your world.
- You are unlimited. Act without limitations.
- Do something inconvenient that brings you joy and excitement. Make time between the “have to’s” for the “Want to’s.” It brings balance, control of your life and choices. Surprise yourself and others!!
- Love doesn’t hurt, I promise. It’s your beliefs about love that hurt. Physically when you focus on love, it feels good. When you focus on the fear of getting hurt or disappointed, your stomach and whole body tense up and your convinced you can’t handle it. Allow yourself to feel your heart, good will come immediately.
- Share, be intimate, trust, allow, bond, open. Depression is closed and lonely. Be the butterfly and watch yourself fly. It’s okay; to withhold is not okay, unless you like being depressed and alone.
- Have goals that are attainable making your heart pound with excitement and are fulfilling.
- Make today opposite day—do the opposite of your norm!!!
- Feeling you deserve good and happy, rather than suffering and punishment.
- Be okay with how things are less than perfect or how you believe they should look. Life never looks how we want it to for very long. Get used to it.
- Choose!! Choose you, choose happiness, change your mind. Just make a choice and see what happens.
- Accept you, stop trying to be someone else or perfect—there are no rewards for anything less than being authentically you.
- Listen to your emotions. Feel them—they change like the tide. It connects you to you.
When limiting thoughts and beliefs come up, ask their truth. Are they valid? Or bullsh*t. You have as much right to happiness as anyone else.
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Editor: Lynn Hasselberger