Your Ugly “V” Is Normal & Gorgeous. (Adult)

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You don’t like your bits and twinkles?

Have you seen the documentary film, The Perfect Vagina? It’s certainly not for the faint of heart. I sat through the entire thing feeling squeamish, legs crossed tight, one hand over my eyes and a little curious about the look of my own undercarriage. Why all the tension and peculiar interest? The film is about vaginal cosmetic surgery, and according to this film, it’s growing in popularity.

So what is it about the vagina that’s causing a ruckus? Ladies and gentlemen, meet the labia minora.

According to Wikipedia: The labia minora (singular: labium minus), also known as the inner labia, inner lips, or nymphae, are two flaps of skin on either side of the human vaginal opening, situated between the labia majora (outer labia, or outer lips). Inner lips vary widely in size, colour, and shape from woman to woman.

Labiaplasty (930,000 Google search results), also known as vaginal rejuvenation, labia minora contouring, labial reshaping, female genital surgery or labial reduction, is the surgical procedure of reducing the length of the inner labia or inner flaps. (I have also learned of a  procedure called vaginoplasty that tightens the vagina and muscles surrounding it.)

There is one profound question one cannot help but to ask: Why?

As if we need another item on our already massive list of things to stress over, or another body part to obsess about. Why is it now a big deal if our inner flappage is a bit longer than the outer bits?

According to the film, women who want this surgery are seeking a more ‘youthful’ appearance and/or want to balance out the appearance of their labia minora with the surrounding tissue. Some women have claimed to be embarrassed of the length of their labia minora. Some say they’ve been ridiculed or teased by family members or partners. Others claim the length has caused them to have problems doing certain activities or from wearing certain clothing articles. Others say that it has caused (psychological) difficulties in the bedroom.

The influence/pressure for wanting a more ‘balanced and youthful’ appearance is said to come from the aesthetic vah-jay-jays featured in pornographic magazines and films or the skilful yet deceitful technique known as beauty magazine airbrushing. Some also blame plastic surgeons for developing such a procedure and the women who have the money to pay for it (the average cost ranges between 5,000-10,000 USD).

I also can’t help but to ponder, when did waxing and shaving become a part of our beauty routine? According to sex researcher Dr. Debra Herbenick, young women’s pubic hair has been steadily disappearing over the past decade and that younger women tend to shave it off while older women choose to wax. What happened to good old-fashioned ‘maintenance’ where we left a bit of the forest intact? Trees do look naked without leaves. Is a bit of pubic hair just not sexy anymore?

Anyways, I tried to find some statistics about large labia minora cases (also known as labia hypertrophy) and unsurprisingly could not find any solid numbers. In all honesty, I’m sure this number is huge.

But, just because your labia minora peaks out from your labia majora, does it really mean you have a problem? According to the documentary the typical size of the labia minora ranges from two to ten centimetres (0.8 to 3.9 inches). Supporting this range, a study by the Department of Gynaeology in the UK in 2004 shared the length of the labia minor of women between ages 18-50 to be 0.78 to 3.9 inches.

The fact of the matter is, the labia minora comes in varying symmetry, sizes and colours and are influenced by things such as genetics, childbirth, hormones and age.

What are the risks of the surgery?

I’ve read that some of the risks can include temporary numbness, bleeding, pigmentation changes, pain, decreased feeling in that area, asymmetry between the inner and outer labia, excess scar tissue buildup (that can appear as lumps), hematoma (broken blood vessels or blood clot), puckering of the skin and sexual dysfunction. It is also important to note that there has not been any substantial findings or research as to the long-term consequences of such a surgery.

If you really love me, don’t you also love my dangles and bobs?

What exactly is the idea of the perfect vagina anyway? Not too tight? Not too baggy? Or in the words of this film “hairless, neat, pink and tucked-in”? If you ask me, the perfect vagina is a myth.

Photo credit: Wikipedia (A variation of female pubic hair  on a mature female.)

I asked ten random guys ages 25-35, if they thought the size of the labia minora matters. Here are their responses:

1. “It does not matter. What’s important to me are a woman’s curves.”

2. “I don’t think this matters. I don’t think men are that fussy.”

3. “For me it doesn’t matter at all. I actually think it’s quite sexy if you can see them.”

4. “I think it’s a total misunderstanding that any female would get this surgery. I think it’s a total minority of guys that would wish this for a woman. This part of the body is like the ears, it’s a part you cannot judge by prettiness and it doesn’t make sense to me to alter it. This type of surgery, if done just for looks, is a waste of money. Genetically we are coded to be turned on by a woman’s vagina pretty much however it looks.”

5. “All labia minora are created equal.”

6. “I for one, don’t care at all.”

7. “I’d much prefer that she is comfortable with herself versus being neurotically insecure enough to get surgery.”

8. “I don’t think vaginas were meant to look ‘pretty’.”

9. “Couldn’t give a damn.”

10. “I’m sure a guy is just happy to be there.”

There we have it.

Perhaps we should stop reading/watching so much porn, stop perusing beauty magazines and comparing our vaginas. We could also save ourselves a lot of pain and/or money by bringing pubic hair back. 🙂

Making love, looking good, feeling great about who you are doesn’t involve being what someone else thinks you ‘should’ be. Of course it’s a person’s own choice to have this type of surgery or not, but no matter what, a little more self-love couldn’t hurt. It’s not always easy, but a little bit goes a hell of a long way.


To read more (one for the guys) click here.

Or, We heart your imperfect (perfect) penis.

For more of our best sexy content, join our page: elephant gets sexy.



The key to long-term love and great sex:

Relephant: Sarah Silverman on Lady Bits, Comfort, Vaginnaaaaaa:


Labiaplasty: The Australian Classification Board decides what vaginas must look like in soft porn. If a vagina has excess tissue it may be labelled as “offensive”, so porn companies must digitally edit or remove parts of the labia, leading to only one type of vagina see in porn magazines:

Meanwhile, politicians are ignoring real problems.
This is insane. “Remember, Australia also classifies women in porn whose breasts are too small as possible child porn and it’s banned. So no A cups.”


Update: Of Vulvas and Vaginas. ~ Debra DeAngelo {Adult}

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Tanya Lee Markul

Luring the magic of what is natural back into our daily lives, Tanya Markul is a freer of creativity, of inner beauty + power, and an enthusiastic igniter of the wild spirit! She re-writing the wild flower sutras, and offers a refreshing & badass view on spirituality, wellness & authentic living. Sensitivity is her tree trunk, flower stem, and nucleus. It is her belly, and her heart. Tanya is an artist of life, a faery of trees, a wanderer of the dark, a writer of heart, a misfit yogini, and an Urban Priestess apprentice. She believes in the power of your personal weird, quirky, magic, and that only path toward inner freedom & light, is through the dark — eyes closed, heart open. Tanya is the creator of The Urban Howl, Yoga Write Now & Waking Wild. Join her free forum for monthly yoga & writing practices here. Join her free forum for 30 days of exercise for 30 days here. Join her on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter & get her free weekly & quirky newsletter here.

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anonymous Oct 18, 2015 3:30pm

Loved this article, thank you! I had insecurities around my vagina from a young age, my father used to joke about my labia and tell people he thought I was a boy when he first saw me as a baby. He used to tell my mom she had leg warmers and goulash for lips. Started watching porn to see how I compared and to see if I did have an ugly vagina! Have realised I let my dad skew my perception and as a result I saw ugliness where there is in fact beauty. We are all different and so are our genitals. And if someone truly cares about you, they will accept each part of you and not judge you based on the length and colour of your labia! Vaginal rejuvenation is a money making scheme and unnecessary full stop. Who decided what makes a vagina 'attractive' in any case?!

anonymous Sep 1, 2015 10:40am

I will concede that surgery is 95% profit. However, I can’t help but notice that all of the other criticisms of the procedure could apply equally to make-up. I seriously doubt that everyone here is practicing what they preach when they say you’re just fine without any cosmetic enhancement. But as for waxing & shaving, it just exposes the hair follicle to infections and stimulates the growth of bacteria. Who wants to eat that?

anonymous Jul 24, 2015 8:38pm

Hugely important topic. Once again women’s insecurities are being exploited to make people rich.

Very few women need this surgery. From what i am led to believe, some women are born with such large labia that riding a bike is uncomfortable. …. i could understand their desire to alter that….

Plain and simple…. they are all ugly! That doesn’t change the fun in sex or life, unless you buy into the propaganda. ….. get out of the shallow end ladies!

Thanks for bringing this issue up!! Wonan need to really support one another, and we need strong men who shout down the pathetic misogyny that swirls around this society.

anonymous Feb 1, 2015 12:06pm

unfortunately all too often I've heard men call some of these meat curtains and make other disparaging remarks about women they've been with. As a woman who also has this issue I can tell you that sometimes its very uncomfortable with pulling and tugging if not set right in the underwear and almost having to adjust yourself like a man would so I can understand the desire to have surgery for some women.

anonymous Sep 7, 2014 4:36pm

We're horrified by the genital mutilation some cultures/religions impose on their young women, and yet individuals are prepared to impose something similar on themselves. Insecurity knows no bounds.

anonymous Sep 5, 2014 10:12pm

I love that you are addressing this issue….it's all about confidence and liking your own sh**….you could have a really f up tw** but if you love it like nobody's business so will anyone else that you share it with. Self love people.

anonymous Mar 23, 2014 12:22pm

Some women have been made to feel “unpretty” by their intimate partners. Sometimes surgery is to address dysfunction due to trauma from prior experiences. No woman seeking or advocating for their own healthcare is stupid. If you perceive yourself to be flawed. .it impacts intimacy. Even if geometry is corrected..emotionally you have to love yourself to let go of fears of inadequacy. If you love her…or him…don’t judge by parts…measure the heart.

anonymous Mar 22, 2014 4:25pm

Labia minora that are long, assymetrical, or a complex shape are extremely sexy. I unequivocally prefer this to perfectly symmetrical and somewhat hidden inner labia.

This all feels like oversharing to me, but it seems like a lot of women may be misunderstanding this subject a bit: it’s Very Sexy when there’s something there and it’s an unusual, organic shape. It’s a positive. Do you see?

anonymous Jan 18, 2014 7:47am

I sure could have used this a week ago!!! I have been ashamed of my "girlie" parts for years!! I had finely come to terms with them until I was listening to a Dane Cook stand up comedy routine with my boyfriend (whom I had just started dating at the time)! In it he's joking about meeting a girl and having sex with her for the first time…he talks about how relieved he is if he gets down below and everything is neat, tucked in and pretty…not all hanging down!!! I was completely mortified! I became flushed and sweaty and my boyfriend asked me what was wrong…he could tell it made me very uncomfortable!!! Since then I have spent countless hours on the internet trying to figure what men thought was attractive. I found several comments where the inner labia were referred to as "meat curtains" or "roast beef" and not attractive! I had my labiaplasty yesterday!! While driving to the hospital I received a text from my boyfriend. He told me he loved me just the way I am!!! I have mixed emotions today! Of course there is healing that needs to take place but it looks great! But if I was being completely honest I would say I have some remorse! I am 48 years old and I have lived with those large lips for a long time! I hate that I let myself be so influenced by what the media wants us to think is beautiful!!! What's next??? After this, what are we going to find to be unhappy with!!!

Thanks so much for this story!!! Like i said, I would have given anything to find something like this a week ago!!! Hopefully it will bring comfort and acceptance to someone else struggling with this issue!!!

anonymous Oct 12, 2013 8:30pm

Hmm? I don't get where folks are getting that just because a big labia is okay they can just outright stop grooming down there. Don't get it twisted, now.

anonymous Oct 12, 2013 6:51pm

I love the comments by the men!!! Women are the only ones who don't love their private parts.But hey, there is always someone ready to take your money and promise you happiness and "perfection". .All the men I've spoken to about this loveeeeeeee women with large full lips and a labia that peeks thru or a large clitoris. Hairy and natural is a matter of choice and easy enough to change from one to the other. It would be a huge advancement if women could be less critical of their bodies then men are. Why are we are toughest critics???? A little more self acceptance, a lot less self hate. Soft natural breasts of whatever size have got to be more beautiful than anything ever manufactured in a silicone plant…..Viva la difference, thank god we come in all shapes and sizes…What a sad boring world it would be if we were all cookie cutter.

anonymous Oct 12, 2013 1:34am

*sigh * I miss my porn star body of youth. Now all I have is the vagina.

anonymous Aug 15, 2013 9:58pm

News flash ladies; men like women to LOOK like women Not like little girls! I personally love that feminine bulge in the panties, and am disappointed at the lack of beautiful full labia!

anonymous Jun 4, 2013 1:55pm

bonjour, moi, je suis attiré par une femme qui soigne ses lèvres, qui rase ses poils; en tant qu'homme, j'adore donner du plaisir en léchant, avec une touffe de poils, c'est pas très appétissant, mais sans poils pubiens, c'est très excitant;

anonymous Jun 4, 2013 1:55am

I love this. Thank you.

anonymous Jun 1, 2013 8:47am

In her book The Sexual Practices of Quodoushka, Teachings from the Nagual Tradition, Amara Charles details that there are 9 different types of female genitalia of all different shapes and sizes. From a quick glance at the pictures, the least common is the type described by the movie. If you are considering this kind of surgery, I urge you to do a Quodoushka workshop first. It utterly changed my relationship with my vagina and my body. And by the way, I am so very done with all the attempts to make women tiny – in every way. Are we supposed to just disappear next?

anonymous Jun 1, 2013 1:20am

I suspect that heterosexual men are thinking about vagina somewhere between 95-99% of the time. True, occasionally we can focus our attention elsewhere, but that hardly sounds like something men consider to be "ugly." In fact, it sounds much more like "irresistible." And nothing is more sensual to a hetero man– the sight, the scent, the feel against our fingertips, lips, and tongues, the sound of wet lips being softy stroked– nothing is more beautiful, nothing is more alluring, than the labia minora. Women, if somebody tries to tell you otherwise, it is that person, and not you, who has a problem.

anonymous May 31, 2013 9:58pm

I have seen this article posted many times and I have always wanted to comment but never got a chance. I represent Mark Scheinberg, MD, FACOG, DABOG, a cosmetic gynecologist who is a pioneer in these vaginal procedures. He's also been a top OB/Gyn for the past almost 40 years. I can say with all honesty that these procedures, if done correctly by a properly trained surgeon, really make the difference in women's lives. Every day, Dr. Scheinberg see's patients that have extremely irregular labia (I urge you to visit his website and look at the photos). Many of them, have very abnormal bulging, pinching, infections, irregular skin, skin that gets caught during sex, and more. Dr. Scheinberg also lectures directly on behalf of The American College of Obstetrics and Gynecology (ACOG). Their view is that yes, every vagina and labia are normal,and they do not push any procedures on women, but so many women are plagued with extreme irregularities and it will be hard press to find statistics on this because it's such a private topic. How many women are going to go around telling people they have irregular labia? Not very many. Even Dr. Scheinberg's patients are extremely cautious when coming to the office, and some even hide these procedures from their friends, family, and even spouses. The scary part is that so many doctors can take a weekend course to learn how to perform these surgeries and that is absolutely insufficient training to be able to these procedures correctly. Thus, many women get poorly done work, and basic labial amputations (some even by extremely well heard of doctors on hit TV plastic surgery TV shows). My point in writing this is, no one can tell a woman what is normal; they have to decide for themselves. Especially if it effects their confidence or their sex life.

    anonymous Nov 17, 2014 10:53pm

    with all due respect “bluelagoongirl” WOMEN and so called sex researchers and media have been telling MEN what is so called normal or average in regards to penis size,Not to mention the endless,disgusting,hurtful obsurb penis size studies..where kinsey and the rest of these quacks want to cull men into labs and measure their penises like a bunch of cattle.Do you find that odd.Is that not misandry and a horrible thing to do to guys?

anonymous May 31, 2013 8:31pm

I feel so sorry for those women out there, that want to have this type surgery …either because they are stupid, they have money and don't know what to do with it, make more rich these people who does it , and or they are stupidly insecure!!!

anonymous May 25, 2013 12:48am

Those responses of men were complelty fake. They could have been taked to and were described how bad it is just to influence their answer or had picked only men that say they didnt care. Truthfully I know MANY men that do care about this and find it disgusting to have one longer than the other. I wish this was more real and less sugar coated just to convince me not to get the surgery. This in-fact just made me want to get it more because I feel like this does matter to men and it should be acceptable because societies standards require women to be perfect and thats exactly what I will do then because they dont really care about us.

anonymous May 19, 2013 11:00am

This is just wrong. It seems to me that not all penises are that "pretty" either, and I don't see men pressuring themselves to have penis surgery to make them conform to some imaginary ideal.

anonymous May 17, 2013 9:37pm

I hate to tell you this but no one likes an ugly one…..and if your pussy lips are long trust me its disgusting!

anonymous May 14, 2013 4:02am

very interesting blog post… i simply admire the honesty and perspective of a woman. truly, women are admirable and deserves every ounce of respect.

anonymous Apr 24, 2013 11:55am

Quibbler's implication is correct. This conversation is not about women's Vaginas. That aside , everyone is slowly being driven insane with insecurity and anxiety about their genitals because of PORN. Everyone currently anxious about their genitals should watch re-runs of the muppet movies over and over again until the anxiety has passed and we can all laugh about what an asinine conversation and fixation this is.

anonymous Apr 16, 2013 1:03am

I personally LIke… no LOVE a woman with Public Hair! the best vulvas still are covered evenly anbout an inch to 2inches deep. is it possible to have too much hair down there yes. but having none at all is accually a turn off. the basic thing I will tell you is i prefer brunettesor red heads. with long haire onthe heads and hair down there when it comes to groming I would like you to heep it in side a normal pair of panties and not splilling over on to the thighs or aproaching the navel. if you look like the woman reading the sitting the with her body half covered… you are perfect down there. If you do not well i would still love you. but i would beg you on my hands and knees to stop shaving. i may even hige every razor from you to prevent shaving. BTW girls who sit and read with no pants on are one of the bigest turnons to me. so please indulge me !

anonymous Apr 15, 2013 4:53am

Well, I must say, as a man, at 26 now, I have always found the natural vagina, with the nice thick labia, sexy. I have seen where some people have called them "roast beef", "bacon strips", etc, and it was mostly women saying it, it seems to be yet another way to bully women into thinking they aren't adequate enough. you could have A cups or DDDs (yes I know there is bigger, I never know what the highest is anymore as this same reasoning as above keeps pushing that letter higher) You could have no labia at all, everything tucked in, you could have them 5 inches or longer, to the point you need to fold them up, either way, I, and most of the guys I've seen comment on photos before, enjoy it either way. The female body, including the vagina, in it's natural form, is a work of art. Stop butchering them, we don't like it! We like it the way it is!

anonymous Apr 10, 2013 9:59am

Thanks for the article. My only two quibbles: as a women's health care provider, I can tell you that pubic hair started disappearing about 20 years ago. The other issue is about the author's comment,"What happened to good old-fashioned ‘maintenance’ where we left a bit of the forest intact? Trees do look naked without leaves. Is a bit of pubic hair just not sexy anymore?" I would ask, what happened to just leaving your pubic hair completely natural? Why just "a bit"? The general cultural disgust with pubic hair is still relayed by the feeling that there's a need to only have a little bit. Let's get over our fear of pubic hair. Furry is fine!

anonymous Apr 8, 2013 5:16am

Reading this seriously made me tear up, I've been extremely self conscious for years!!! This gave me hope that maybe I'm okay just the way I am!!!

anonymous Apr 6, 2013 6:05am

This article is insulting women's by showing with figures.

anonymous Apr 6, 2013 1:00am

Have to say I do love 'it' clean and smooth…. shaved or waxed. And… with larger inner lips that I can suck on and play with. Just so incredibly sexxy and such a turn on.

Big hairy bushes are really quite a turnoff ladies, but that's just one man's preference.

anonymous Mar 25, 2013 12:51pm

It doesn't matter what they look like, if I guy is looking at them he is happy.

anonymous Mar 17, 2013 11:50pm

LOL, can honestly say this is nothing I've ever, ever thought about. A vagina is a vagina is a vagina — isn't it? At least that's how I've always thought about mine.

This whole obsession with the way they look though is just another Hollywood way to still keep women down and worrying about stupid things like what their vagina looks like instead of how successful their career is or how happy their family. Sorry, but it's crazy and women who do it want their heads examining.

anonymous Mar 16, 2013 3:37am

Tanya, I agree with you completely – when did waxing and shaving become a part of our beauty routine? It costs money, time and pain!! It’s also killing my brain cell to make conversation with the lady who gives me the treatment. It’s so uncomfortable.

anonymous Feb 27, 2013 6:05pm

Really, this topic is worthy of your time?

anonymous Feb 9, 2013 6:17am

very good

anonymous Feb 6, 2013 5:46pm

I absolutely don't get the trend toward no pubic hair. I want to sleep with a woman, not a little girl! Keeping it trimmed is nice, of course, and I do the same to myself… but a "scorched earth" policy is so unattractive. And really, have you tried rubbing any part of your body up against stubble? A scratchy vagina is awful. I've heard so many female friends make a fuss about their boyfriend's beard, stubble, etc… pretty much the same deal :0)

anonymous Jan 30, 2013 8:41am

[…] […]

anonymous Jan 25, 2013 10:18am

The article and the comments made me furious.

A lot of the stuff said here is just trying to make women feel better about themselves. Men have to cop the "penis size" comments all the time.

This surgery is no different to someone having a penis enlargement.

There IS definitely such thing as an ugly vagina, just do a google search you'll find heaps of them. I personally haven't come across one but i've definitely seen them.

Secondly, I've seen a lot of people talk about bringing pubic hair back… You have to be crazy!!! It should be erradicated (Men & Women). It should be part of normal grooming like getting a hair cut, shaving your legs or chest or back or whatever. The "pre-pubescent" argument for pubic hair is a joke. Surely you know the person you with is at least 16 so what are you afraid of. If you need to see pubic hair to be sure of.. then you have problems. Seeing pubic hair at all is a huge turn off for me and would likely cause me not to see that person again. Also, if I found a vagina to be particularly hideous then oral sex is out of the question. This is not sexist, it just depends on the person. Just like some women won't do oral or won't swallow or whatever.

anonymous Jan 10, 2013 11:43am

[…] Where children are taught to appreciate their bodies, rather than fear them. Where it’s not just ‘normal’, but encouraged to explore the depths of one’s sexual desire, kinks and all. Where sex ed isn’t squeezed into a semester of gym class and taught by some ex-football player who keeps stumbling over the word ‘vagina.’ […]

anonymous Jan 8, 2013 11:47am

it's the surgeons propagating the psychology of insecurity… twisted medical industry in this world. not nice to these poor girls at all.

anonymous Jan 3, 2013 8:47pm

Are you kidding me? Women want the most beutiful part of a vagina cut on? I can't believe this. I love them big. The bigger the more sexy they are to me. Please ladies, leave them alone!

anonymous Jan 1, 2013 3:18pm

[…] […]

anonymous Jan 1, 2013 9:50am

The word "should" is a pesky being and one to learn to avoid at all costs.

anonymous Dec 29, 2012 1:21am

[…] To read the Elephant Journal article, go here: […]

anonymous Dec 26, 2012 1:59pm

I personally think that the lips are beautiful. Variety is also beauty. I'm so sick of seeing girls shaven bald down there. Just leave it alone!!! My natural instinct when i see a naturally hairy vag, is to hone in like a cruise missile; not so for a shaven one, its a hit or miss. The shaving should be an exception not a rule. Let nature do its thing (we've been programmed for millions of years). On the flip side, stop circumcising baby boys!

anonymous Dec 19, 2012 6:39am

[…] body could get bruises and illness. My body could be molested against my will and nearly raped. My body could be ugly and unattractive. It bled and had cramps and did all sorts of embarrassing things. I could be judged for my body […]

anonymous Dec 15, 2012 7:15am

[…] california earthquake california roy orbison the third man 2012 nfl draft order mohamed sanu chris polk Share this:TwitterFacebookLike this:LikeBe the first to like this. This entry was posted in […]

anonymous Dec 12, 2012 4:14pm

There is NO such thing as an UGLY labia!!!!

anonymous Dec 12, 2012 8:58am

Word of caution (I always feel the need to put my doctor hat on, and of course play devil's advocate):
Yes, the idea that we have shamed women about their vaginas to the point that they are driven to surgery is appalling.
But not all vaginal reconstructions are cosmetic. A number of women with "redundant labial folds" (our fancy medical name for what you reference) actually experience significant irritation, rashes, bleeding, and even skin infections from excess labial tissue. If you're like me, your legs crossed a little tighter.
It's like plastic surgery. RECONSTRUCTIVE surgery is one thing; if you have ever watched the series of surgeries young children with Treacher-Collins undergo so they can look just a LITTLE like normal kids, you get that plastic surgery has its place. However, like Spiderman's uncle said, with great power comes great responsibility. Just because we CAN give a 100lb woman triple-D breasts doesn't mean we SHOULD.
Now BLEACHING! Can we talk about THAT? Not only does it have no redeeming medical benefit, also: why do we want our pubic area to resemble that of a prepubescent girl? Creepy, if you ask me.

anonymous Dec 11, 2012 1:00pm

Sounds like “Men Rule” has a tiny little penis he is ashamed of.

anonymous Dec 10, 2012 5:13pm

Ew the comments from men on here are so gross.

anonymous Dec 6, 2012 6:31am

Thank you for this lovely article.

I couldn't agree more that we've got a big messy problem around how many women (and even girls!) feel about their vaginas/vulvas.

I'm a new member to this community, so 1) – Hi nice to meet you all, I like it here, and 2) I get the feeling from poking around a bit that readers of this site are more inclined to be pro-diverse-vaginas/everyone-is-beautiful than the rest of the population may be at large.

I think this because I've spent time with my little sister and her friends, and heard them talk about how anxious they feel about their bodies. How that dread of being abnormal affects their confidence and relationships. I've had classmates who feel the same way, and even casual conversations in women's restrooms or at parties – many women feel absolutely wretched about the state of their bits. To the extent that it never even occurs to a person to question or examine the negative feelings she has in this regard. And it's heartbreaking for all of the excellent reasons mentioned here.

So if you agree with this article – please share it! Send it to your family and partners and friends. For all the times they hear "you're not right the way you are" hearing that "you're absolutely fine as you are," is like water on the desert.

anonymous Dec 3, 2012 4:18pm


anonymous Dec 2, 2012 10:10am

"Making love, looking good, feeling great about who you are doesn’t involve being what someone else thinks you ‘should’ be."

And yet, you asked guys for their opinion about us.
Asking means caring…

    anonymous Jun 29, 2013 3:40am

    Exactly. it's a bit difficult not to think about what someone else is thinking when you're sharing and open yourself to him.
    Not like you're making love, looking good and feeling great by yourself…

anonymous Nov 25, 2012 7:26pm

Penises and pussies are perfect! I love them both!!

anonymous Nov 22, 2012 10:23am

Out of all my dates and relationships, I most say that I’ve never seen an ugly vagina, actualy I’ve always seen them as such beautiful part of a woman’s body, we man don’t care about you inner lips looks we just want to be there, no surgeries nothing will make us think it’s pretier than just natural.

anonymous Nov 21, 2012 11:50am

Personally I like well shaved smooth and silky
skin. My husband loves to lick lips of my yuni and all that well shaved neat and clean area. I love to have this fun.

anonymous Nov 20, 2012 12:17am

can anyone here tell me how to increase the length of pubic hair. as i like bushy hairy penis. what are the methods to do it. please help

anonymous Nov 13, 2012 7:55pm

i enjoyed this reading… n i like hair on right places

anonymous Nov 13, 2012 4:45am

I have felt ashamed about my vagina and it has stopped me from forming relationships. I had some comments about it from a guy I slept with who then told friends of his (women and men) who then said derogatory things to me at a party about my vagina. I was mortified and I havn’t had sex now for over 2 and a half years because of it. I went to the doctors about it and they said I was completely normal and when I have looked at pictures of other vaginas my vagina looks completely normal too. Maybe it was because I dumped the guy but I;m really pleased I read this article I was/am considering surgery

anonymous Nov 10, 2012 12:07am

Call me pedantic, and I am constantly surprised, why is it that women refer to their visible genitalia as a vagina? If I am looking at a naked woman she has to be doing gymnastics for me to see her vagina, and at best I will see the vaginal opening.

anonymous Nov 9, 2012 6:06am

i love to kiss on vagina………..

anonymous Nov 7, 2012 8:33pm

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anonymous Nov 1, 2012 7:24pm

Utter bullshit! Every woman’s vagina is as unique as she is. Being somewhat, um, orally fixated, I find labia lips entrancing…more to enjoy, not better or worse. Frankly, my “up close and personal” approach really is selfish; I get to experience her orgasms that much more. As far as the shaving thing goes, I prefer the fur. Not that I object, it’s a lovely discovery, as a fun treat for her lover or personal preference because it’s more sensual for her. That said, I think men who insist on that are really looking for a pre-pubescent girl…

anonymous Oct 26, 2012 7:12am

Every one is unique. There is no such a thing as a perfect vagina.

anonymous Oct 25, 2012 7:15am

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anonymous Oct 21, 2012 11:56am

there's nothing more beautiful and sweeter then an ugly pussy

anonymous Oct 15, 2012 2:02pm

The bigger the lips the more there is to suck on ! Who wouldn't enjoy larger lips that have the texture of velvet when licking. The bigger the better. Never be ashamed of something so beautiful .

anonymous Oct 12, 2012 7:56pm

love it! thank you!

anonymous Oct 11, 2012 9:04pm

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anonymous Oct 10, 2012 7:17pm

Ridiculous. I am a man, and I happen to ADORE long, visible inner lips. I know a lot of other men who feel the same. Be proud!

anonymous Oct 8, 2012 8:47am

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anonymous Oct 7, 2012 2:36am

Quite honestly, it’s silly. I for one DO shave my pubic area, but that is in part for the benefit of my mate and I really enjoy oral sex and honestly neither my mate, nor any of my exes, nor any man that I have ever known or woman for that matter, depending on how you swing, that would want a mouthful of pubic hair when pleasuring their partner, plus, it can be hard enough to breath as it is while administering oral sex, that we don’t, at least for my relationships, we don’t need/want hair obscuring our airways when we do take a moment to breath from burying our faces in the vagina. So for the pubic hair issue I have a definite stance and that’s why. but as for the surgery for the labia minoris, I mean really wtf? Why? As one guy they questioned says “I don’t think vaginas were meant to look ‘pretty'” He’s both right and wrong. Compared to other parts of the female anatomy, no it’s not that pretty to look at, but to others, it’s extremely beautiful, in it’s natural, as god gave us, UN-altered by surgery state. Besides, it’s a bit more fun if they are bigger, it just means finding the clitoris if more of a challenge and foreplay ends up being longer and more fun as a result. And really I have heard of people being insecure of their looks, but this is just ridiculous, and with all those risks, ladies, it’s NOT worth it! I for one have NEVER heard of a case where a woman has been teased or had problems wearing certain kinds of clothing or any other kind of so called “problems” because the have “big” inner lips. We come in all shapes and sizes and we are all beautiful.

anonymous Oct 6, 2012 6:22pm

i love all because its nature and there is nothing you can do about it but hurt your self.take comes and be happy is what i can tell any lady in this forum.not every one is equal to another

anonymous Oct 6, 2012 10:01am

To me, a girl wishing to change her vagina is the same as someone wishing to have different fingerprints. I tend to assume there's identity issues or something of that ilk.

anonymous Oct 5, 2012 3:18pm

You women have beautiful bodies, in diverse shapes, that we men love to look at and touch. The vagina is the center of your female essence – revel in it’s beauty and power and share generously with good men who appreciate it – don’t waste your time with guys who have hang-ups.

anonymous Oct 2, 2012 10:46pm

Wonderful article and insights. Keep on speakin' up! Our vagina's thank you.

anonymous Oct 2, 2012 3:10pm

what can be said about the vagina? they are mostly pretty nice. women aren't the only ones obsessed with how others may perceive the appearance of their private parts, if the amount of penis shaping equipment available on the net is any indication…. men can be just as self-conscious, and both men and women tend to play it off as if they aren't, when they are.

anonymous Sep 28, 2012 7:19am

Pussy goooooooooood!!!!!!!

anonymous Sep 27, 2012 8:13am

few thoughts:
I saw that docco and thought it was great.
have you read 'the bearded lady'? it talks about the obsession with being hairless.
even more bewildering to me is the Hymen restoration surgery…
its a shame its such a touchy subject that one can take to heart so easily, sometimes even overhearing a joke or comment can sting deep and make you wonder if you are normal or desirable.

anonymous Sep 25, 2012 3:38pm

[…] Read more: Your Ugly Vagina is Normal & Gorgeous. […]

anonymous Sep 21, 2012 9:09am

A very interesting article, with one MASSIVE failure. You aren’t talking about the vagina. The vagina is the passage way from the uterus to the outside. You are talking about the VULVA.

    anonymous Oct 21, 2012 12:37pm

    Hi Debra — I hear you and know it. 🙂 I think the article makes that pretty clear, moving past the title. 🙂

anonymous Sep 19, 2012 8:50pm

I have to write that this is a subject that never occurred to me. I am a heterosexual woman and had no complaints.

anonymous Sep 17, 2012 9:03pm

Ridiculously Disgusting and Incredibly Sad, Is This The Ultimate Bottom Of The Shit We Do To Fulfill Ourselves, BTW, I am Totally On Board With West, : O )

anonymous Sep 16, 2012 2:22pm

I absolutely love the female form. Man here – full large lips are exciting and sexy. Insecurity is not. Sad state of affairs nowadays.

anonymous Sep 10, 2012 11:20am

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anonymous Aug 14, 2012 1:14pm

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anonymous Jul 23, 2012 10:48pm

[…] no, no. “Vagina is Beautiful,” says Eve Ensler, so why would I rip at my injured self with such a term? Are not my body and mind […]

anonymous Jul 22, 2012 12:08pm

I have always been fascinated with women's bits and wrinkles. I find them works of art and celebrate each and every one of them!

anonymous Jul 21, 2012 9:34pm

I found this site a few weeks ago.

anonymous Jul 19, 2012 7:48am

Women friends – want to compare your labia with others to get an idea how totally normal you are? Try the book FEMALIA by Joani Blank…

anonymous Jul 19, 2012 7:38am

I prefer them fresh and clean. Hairless is a plus but not a necessity. Crusty ones aren't particularly appetizing. It depends where the crust came from.

anonymous Jul 19, 2012 4:05am

Personally, I never met a vagina I didn’t like. They all have their own distinct beauty…like a face if you will.

anonymous Jun 9, 2012 4:41pm

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anonymous Jun 9, 2012 1:27pm

[…] the f*ck? We vaginas know we don’t all look alike and that’s okay. That would be like saying all white people look the same or should look the same. Other than having […]

anonymous Jun 9, 2012 9:31am

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anonymous Jun 9, 2012 8:09am

This is a great article, with encouraging comments that make me feel like there are people out there who share my views and my frustrations. I tried waxing once and actually bled, developed a horrible red bumpy rash that looked far worse than HAIR, and never bothered with it again. I think grooming is important, but really…I don't think most guys are doing down there to do a visual inspection…if they are, let them have their porn star wannabes.

Sometimes I want to live in the middle of nowhere and experience consciousness completely untouched by the way the world is now. But I suppose that's unrealistic. Thanks for writing this, and thanks for all the enlightened comments.

    anonymous Jun 11, 2012 1:34pm

    Maybe we should start a commune. 🙂 🙂 🙂

anonymous Jun 9, 2012 1:45am

AMEN Chris! I do not like the natural sex negative presumptions that wven trimming is necessary "please please do it…" You gotta be kidding me! I am a man, am turned on by hair if I am attracted to the woman, as nature would intend. I can see the sexiness of exposing the genitalia too, but it is absurd & offensive for folks to give lip service (pun intended) to a "real" woman, but then make disparaging remarks about getting "lost in the weeds", or suggest that trimming is a hygiene need!

No, it should be as fine to not do so as TO do so. And the implicit juvenile assumption is that all smells & sights down there that hair traps must be "bad", that normal washing cannot handle hygiene. This is mostly internalized misogyny. What about enjoying the presence & smell of a woman when she is menstruating, or a woman liking her natural scent or state, that must be "sick" if people preach folks must not cut it all off OR leave it all on.

anonymous Jun 7, 2012 6:07pm

It's truly heartbreaking. The cultural images forced on woman are baffling. Your labia are part of you and a beautiful one at that. All the more the pubic hair is the perfect from for it, sure a little maintenance here and there doesn't hurt but if I'm going to be with a woman I want her to look like a woman. No more swollen implants, no more orange skin cancer tans, and keep sharp objects away from all genitals!!!

    anonymous Jun 8, 2012 1:55pm

    Could not agree more – keep sharp objects away from our genitals!!! That should be a on a t-shirt. 🙂

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anonymous Jun 4, 2012 10:57pm

How it looks is not as important as what you do with it.
Actually I prefer some hair down there. When it's shaved it is kind of "pedophile-ish". I prefer a vagina that looks like it is part of an ADULT woman. Not to mention the stubble, constant maintenance and the irritation that occaisonally arises. If the hair is an embarasement at the beach just wear a "boy short" bikini bottom.

This "shaved bush" thing is a new phenomenon. Even though this may sound strange, having of a naturally bushy vagina in front of me makes me feel young again.

    anonymous Jun 8, 2012 1:54pm

    Hear ya! And, how is it that certain people don't experience razor burn???

anonymous Jun 4, 2012 9:34pm

[…] can read the article yourself here, but the nutshell version is this: women across the country are paying between $10,000-15,000 for […]

anonymous Jun 4, 2012 6:43am

I love this article. Another body part to obsess over, exactly. Thanks for writing!

    anonymous Jun 8, 2012 1:53pm

    Thanks for stopping by, Brooke!

anonymous Jun 3, 2012 12:31pm

[…] matter what vaginal configuration a woman has, somewhere out there is a guy who just loves it, just that way. Chances are he’s also […]

anonymous Jun 3, 2012 11:48am

What a wonderful topic. I'll jump in and provide one male's perspective that might, or might not, provide useful insight. I like lightly trimmed natural pubic hair the best. I want to be able to find you without getting lost in the woods. Ease of access and struggling through the overgrowth can affect my mindset by becoming a distraction. Visuals are important but it's really this practical issue that can determine how adventurous I become. Cleanliness and scent are critical once I've gotten this far.

A lack of pubic hair is also sexy but shaved hair can leave short stubble that actually hurts a bit, probably not unlike a man's facial stubble. While the pain is nothing to grouse about still it is a ditraction that creates a focal point when that focal point should be you – your heart, your emotions, the energy one can feel when pressed chakras to chakras…the union between two lovers.

So, for me at least, it's about balance, as with all things. Trim, with a hint of the wild beast that resides in each of us….clean, fresh, natural and inviting…

anonymous Jun 1, 2012 2:48pm

I don't shave because of my boyfriend or guys I have dated/slept with. I actually like the idea of not shaving and have done it before- but it was extremely uncomfortable. It really does not feel good to have hair 'down there,' at least for me. So in that way, it's a personal choice. My decision to shave legs/arms is more societal.
Thanks for the article, it is so saddening how we are brought up to look at and relate to our bodies with disdain (especially the 'private parts' for females). It would be beautiful if we could stay as children with the mentality that we are wonderful and beautiful just as we are.

    anonymous Jun 2, 2012 1:00pm

    Thanks for the comment, Krista! I'm all for personal choice – especially if we are doing something to please ourselves and not anyone else.

    I think most of us are still children, we have just lost seeing the positive in situations in addition to the beauty and awe. 🙂


anonymous May 31, 2012 9:59pm

Cheers to vaginas everywhere!

anonymous May 30, 2012 10:10am

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anonymous May 29, 2012 6:27pm

I’m only sixteen, but honestly, up until reading this article, I always thought that perhaps this ‘labia minora’ thing was actually a deformity. I thought there was something wrong with me and was afraid that it would effect my ability to have sex in the future (which I discovered it didn’t). Thanks for making it clear that I’m not the odd one out! Also, I think young girls should be taught these things so that instead of freaking out like I did, they can know what’s going on down there and be happy with their bodies.

Great article! Thanks 😉

    anonymous May 31, 2012 12:52am

    Hey Cats Rock! I'm curious why you thought this way? What made you think the labia minora was a deformity? I agree with you completely – it should be talked about more – especially because it's 100% normal! 🙂 I'm glad you're here little sister. 🙂

      anonymous Aug 31, 2015 1:31pm


anonymous May 29, 2012 5:00pm

[…] after I had the exchange with the bridesmaid I read an article in my favorite e-zine about labia minora reduction surgery. No kidding. Apparently it’s a new craze in Great Britain and there’s a documentary on it […]

anonymous May 29, 2012 8:28am

I love your guts.

I remember watching a shorter documentary on the same topic a few years back, when I first heard about this. Like you, I was horrified. This—along with other disturbing practices such as "anal bleaching!"—are some of the most outrageous examples of creating insecurities for profit. Just like some diseases are created & magically "spread" to make money off a new drug, so was this (it's a serious mental illness to say the least)… the sad thing is that so many so-called healthy women are buying into it… Seriously, Hollywood, go get a real job, you have too much time & money on your hands.

    anonymous May 29, 2012 3:24pm

    Analy bleaching????? It's hilarious to me that there is poverty in the world, people are starving, people are without fresh water then you take good ol' Hollywood and MONEY and the rest of its evil poisons. Wow. Talk about cray-cray crazy!

    anonymous Nov 13, 2012 7:53pm

    why do they have to bleach??… wen au naturel is sexy… i love walking in the forest with trees bearing some leaves. I am not really into shaven pubic ,i like pubis region with hair.mmmmmmmm

anonymous May 28, 2012 11:04am

I am perplexed enough that so many women wax all their pubic hair off on a regular basis. Not only that but they really think that having pubic hair is a bad thing. I am horrified at the idea that women are increasingly concerned about the appearance of their labia. Unless you are truly "deformed", where in the world do these women get the idea that there is some sort of 'ideal'?

So sad…

    anonymous May 28, 2012 11:20am

    It is sad! 🙁

    anonymous Jun 1, 2012 4:15pm

    I have no issue with my "parts" but I love being clean shaven and I wax 'cause it's less work and softer 🙂 Hair is not a "Bad" thing…neither is underarm hair or leg hair but I like the feeling of being smooth and hairless and trust me NOTHING I did would make me look prepubescent LOL I like the way it feels to be without body hair let's not disparage personal choice either!

    anonymous Apr 16, 2013 1:05am

    i love pubic hair i don't want it gone

    anonymous Oct 12, 2013 6:55pm

    Porn…apparently porn is the new standard for women's beauty. Take a look at soft porn at least…all the women have huge implants that defy gravity and shaven genital area with tiny closed lips….if you dont look like that you think you are a freak of nature. Wonder how many women have even seen a vaginal area other than their own…that might clear things up

anonymous May 27, 2012 3:29pm

I've been involved with hundreds of vaginas and can comfortably say that no one needs cosmetic surgery (Except this freakshow party girl I met in '91. Rare in any case.).

And ladies: Please bring back pubic hair. A grown woman should have a little hair on it. Namaste

    anonymous May 28, 2012 11:20am

    Agreed – namaste pubic hair! 🙂

    anonymous Feb 9, 2013 2:58pm

    I second it! Seeing a bald "beaver" makes me feel like I'm with a little kid! A little runway is nice! As for any of them being ugly, that's like saying breasts can be ugly, just aint the case!!!

    anonymous Oct 12, 2013 6:52pm

    LOL at involved with hundreds of vaginas!! But yes you are so right!

anonymous May 27, 2012 10:40am

Whoever said your vagina is ugly? Not me.

anonymous May 26, 2012 7:37pm

Haha this article is tremendous =))

anonymous May 25, 2012 10:52am

Just a quibble on terms. What you can see from the outside is the vulva (external genitalia). The canal that can be felt inside the vulva is the vagina (internal genitalia). It takes a flashlight and a trusting woman in a cooperative mood for someone to be able to view the vagina. Yet pictures of naked women are routinely described as “showing the vagina” when all that can be seen is the vulva.
See and their "Wondrous Vulva Puppet" for some anatomy teaching tools.
Otherwise, great post.

    anonymous May 25, 2012 12:16pm

    Thanks Quibbler!!

    anonymous Jul 19, 2012 10:40am

    Quibbler, thanks for your comment. It drives me nuts to hear the entire "lady garden" commonly referred to as a vagina. We don't tell people they have a nice esophagus instead of a nice smile, right? Weird analogy, but you get my drift…

anonymous May 24, 2012 9:53pm

Totally agree! I could never be with a guy with no hair, my preference, I don’t like prepubescent either. Why would a girl have to do that either? I also agree with trimming if you want someone to go down on you, you wanna know your not at the wrong end, lol. People are born however they are, and for the most part everyone is born pretty perfect for who they are meant to be.

    anonymous May 25, 2012 12:15pm

    "….everyone is born pretty perfect for who they are meant to be." —- that's lovely. Thank you!!

anonymous May 24, 2012 7:07pm

Thank you. Enough said! 🙂

anonymous May 24, 2012 12:52pm

There's a whole world out there of people having plastic surgery for one reason or another. And like anything else, that has its extremes. Has nothing to do with men telling women their vaginas are ugly. Has everything to do with people that allow THEMSELVES to get caught up in that narrow view of beauty and their own insecurities. That's true about plastic surgery on any body part. (unless we're talking about reconstructive surgery)

If someone wants to get plastic surgery because it will improve their self-confidence, that's their decision. Perhaps that decision is heavily influenced by marketing and propaganda and the mass media, but again, that's the individual's problem. Not men and not "society."

I'm a man. And I LOVE large labia minora. Super sexy in my opinion.

Regarding pubic hair… Yes please leave some. Bald looks pre-pubescent and that's not sexy. But please, please, please don't let it "all hang out." Meaning keep it trimmed. If a woman wants a man to go down there, wading through a forest is not sexy and getting loose hair in your mouth is not sexy. I'll keep mine trimmed for you. You do the same please. And we'll both enjoy a lot of good oral.

Too much? 🙂

    anonymous May 24, 2012 2:25pm

    Too much? No way! Love your comments and hey, a little trimming never hurt anyone and that sounds like a pretty good deal! 🙂

    PS – Great posting name!!!!!!

anonymous May 24, 2012 3:46am

Actually men are shaving their pubic hair as well. Removing the hair has many advantages. The viewer gets to see the vagina (I haven't seen one I haven't liked); the shaved genital area asks to be licked and sucked (without that annoying hair between the teeth experience. When shaved all the nerve endings in the genital area gets wonderfully treated by the wind (when walking nude), the sun (remember sunscreen!) when sunbathing nude and water when swimming nude.

    anonymous May 24, 2012 12:54pm

    Dang, those are some positive points for shaving that don't include any type of surgical procedure! How can anyone dislike that?! 🙂

    anonymous Jun 1, 2012 4:12pm

    amen! I just like the way it feels…no surgery inducing or weird fetishes!

    anonymous Sep 22, 2012 4:49pm

    What about the scritchy stubble??! I LOVE the feel of my pubic hair, and also on my lover.. really do not enjoy when he shaves his balls, as he does like to do for the way the shaving feels.. and I can hold my pubes out of his way so he doesn't have to deal with it if he doesn't want to, and he loves me doing that anyway and it feels good to me too.. and he just goes crazy for my 'natural look'.. "the best bush in town"! and I like feeling a grown woman having pubic hair, but each to whatever makes us feel best, as long as it is our OWN choice not imposed from outside, magazines etc have a lot to answer for.

      anonymous May 7, 2013 8:01am

      Of course it is externally imposed or influenced. Maybe, upon doing it, people find they really like it, and want to keep doing it for whatever reasons beyond the current culture-at-large saying hair is "dirty" and "ugly", but that first shave, at least, is totally motivated by these messages. These people who claim otherwise are deluding themselves.

      anonymous Mar 24, 2015 5:22pm

      I love a bush to and so does my man but you can always keep the bush just make sure where he licks at ur shave for example I shave my lip area and anus so he can enjoy it and he dnt have to worry aobut getting any pubes in his mouth, he does the same as well he has a bush too and only shaves his balls and anus cus thats where my tonuge likes to play lol

    anonymous Oct 2, 2012 7:12pm

    Actually, it's the other way around. Hairs actually extend out of nerve endings and they enable more sensitivity in the hairy places. When you're out walking, you more easily (and pleasurably) can feel when the breeze blows through your hair, wether it's on your head, arms, legs or pubic area. When you shave you are a little more numb and desensitized to touch and feeling.

anonymous May 24, 2012 1:13am

If a guy doesn't like a vagina he's probably gay, or so I've been told by my male friends, some of them actually gay. The strait ones wouldn't stop for anything if they go down a woman. 😀

    anonymous May 24, 2012 12:55pm

    The guys I spoke to said the same thing – there would be very few things from stopping their trip downtown! 🙂

    anonymous Nov 13, 2012 7:40pm

    you r right…I for one am a man who would not stop for anything at all , to go down therte…!!

    anonymous Dec 10, 2012 12:49pm

    unless it smells like tuna fish

      anonymous Mar 7, 2013 9:00pm

      Yeah, cause men *never* stink, right?

      *cough* cheesy cock order *cough*

        anonymous Mar 24, 2015 5:16pm

        I know right but when I GO DOWN ON a man it must mean Im in love..

anonymous May 24, 2012 1:04am

Pubic hair should not be as big of a deal as people make it out to be. Any hair for that matter. whos to say women have to shave. men dont.

    anonymous May 24, 2012 12:53pm

    Agreed! 🙂

    I think we should designate a 'no shave' your pubes month.

    anonymous May 30, 2012 7:52am

    Some men do. And some women like it that way.

    anonymous Dec 29, 2012 2:59pm

    I shave Kylie and it is much more comfortable. Still leave the hair on the body. Nude on Penis and Scrotum. Mind you, I have a small penis and shaving makes it look more adequate. Peter S . [email protected]

      anonymous Mar 24, 2015 5:15pm

      you have balls to put down that u had a small penis I would love to see if that was true can you post a pix so i can see

    anonymous Jun 5, 2013 9:39pm

    That's true kylie… some men really need to, too. 😉

    anonymous Mar 22, 2014 10:59pm

    It's completely up to you. Hair is sexy I say, damn sexy.

anonymous May 23, 2012 11:29pm

Great article. I, for one, think every vagina I've ever seen is beautiful and would love it if women never even gave this a second thought. Love your comment about bringing pubic hair back and totally agree. Be comfortable with who you are and don't let media dictate what "beautiful" is.

    anonymous May 24, 2012 12:53pm

    Bam! Awesome!

    It makes me absolutely crazy thinking about how much the media influences us in such a negative way – it's HUGE and it puts a massive amount of pressure on people's lives – imagine how much time is wasted on this type of worrying and self deprecation.

anonymous May 23, 2012 10:55pm

i want to know who is getting in on with lights on so bright that you can even see clear enough to determine the size of these features? all you have to do is stick with candlelight or the shower or the tub, which is my preference anyway. seriously, people have too much time and money that they have to create things to pick on. geeze! i'm happy doing my kegels even though i'm not even prego to keep it tight. TIGHTNESS is really what matters! exercise your pelvic floor muscles, ladies AND guys!!!

    anonymous May 24, 2012 12:51pm

    Amen sister. Kegels – work it – if you do yoga, it's mula bandha – bring it!

    anonymous May 31, 2013 10:05pm

    I represent an OB/Gyn and the trauma to the inner vaginal muscle tissue cause by childbirth, coupled with aging, and other genetic factors will eventually stretch out the vaginal rugae to the point that kegels won't do much to fix it. Kegels only strengthen muscle, but strengthening loose, stretched out muscle does nothing for friction (which created pleasure) during sex. Unfortunately, the only way to repair acquired wide vagina is through vaginal surgery or just accepting that things won't be as tight as they once were.

anonymous May 23, 2012 10:22pm

Thank you for sharing this, Tanya. I am currently exploring theories about this and related subjects. Jackson Katz pointed out that as women have gained more power and a greater voice in our culture, mainstream media has systematically encouraged us to become smaller, weaker, thinner and more child-like than ever before. Including our vaginas. Once I asked a former lover if he would like my vagina better if it were more, compact, shall we say. He emphatically replied NO, because then I would look pre-pubescent! I love him for that.
Conversely, male superheroes have steadily grown to become larger than life over the past 50+ years. Take a look at Batman, for example.
If you haven't already, I highly recommend watching the documentaries Tough Guise and Miss Representation.

    anonymous May 24, 2012 12:49pm

    I LOVE recommendations. Thank you so much! I'm ON IT!

    I asked my BF the same question when writing this – he said NO WAY….he prefers a woman not only with curves, but with pubic hair. He doesn't give a shit about the length of the labia minora.

    Yes – there's actually a documentary to coincide with this one – I can't remember the name, but it's about 'The Perfect Penis' – perhaps I'll check that one out next and the one you recommended. Seriously….Batman's huge package….who is Hollywood kidding??!!

      anonymous May 24, 2012 3:14pm

      Awesome, I always love a good recommendation as well!
      I only got rid of my pubic hair due to the fetish modeling, it was pesky keeping it trimmed and the stubble and waxing were leaving ingrown hairs. After I saw how the hair looked in photos, even the bikini line I had just shaved looked dark and stubbly, I decided to get a full brazilian laser hair removal. Totally Worth It.
      I got a gential piercing nearly twenty years ago in the name of vagina respect, beautification and adornment, also totally worth it and one of the best things I have ever done. <3

anonymous May 23, 2012 8:57pm

Thanks for this, Tanya. I think this is kind of a taboo topic for a lot of people. It's something I think a lot of women (including myself) are self-conscious about, so I appreciate you having the confidence and courage to talk about it.

While we can't define ourselves by other people, it's always great to have a partner who is very affirming of you. When my husband tells me I'm hot, and he still is turned on by me even on my most blah days, it makes me feel more confident about my body.

So, thank you! You are doing the world a lot of good by talking about this.

    anonymous May 24, 2012 12:47pm

    Thank you for taking the time to read and comment!! xoxo

    I really couldn't believe this was an issue – I really NEVER heard of it before stumbling across this film and it made me sad and confused. it's just crazy to me that there so much ignorant pressure to have perfect legs, butt, boobs, but labia? Aww man, come on! 🙂

    Your one lucky gal to have a husband like that! I'm sure he says the same about you!!

anonymous May 23, 2012 6:27pm

Hey all you ladies out there with big labia–be proud & consider this: if you had been born “you” as a man, your sex organs would’ve developed so that you would have been endowed with BIG BALLS!!! Isn’t that a plus?!?

    anonymous May 24, 2012 12:43pm

    HAHAHA! Well, either way, as we all age, our bits will be hanging down to our knees anyways. 😛

    anonymous Dec 9, 2012 8:04am

    HAHA! EXCELLENT point, Michelle!!! Love it!

anonymous May 23, 2012 6:06pm

Im a woman and I am Very large "down there" Im very proud of it and not ashamed at all its unique and I feel like it is prettier than the average one you see all the time in pornos… and by the by I've never had a complant about it being to big if anything Ive had compliments and the guys always seem very turned on by this I have been with the same guy for 5 years and he is still very turned on by the size and has no complants … Im big there and I love it : )

    anonymous May 24, 2012 12:42pm

    Hell yeah, Missy! Thanks for being so open and honest – that rocks!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Love it!

    anonymous Dec 7, 2012 4:35am

    I love your big pussy always turn me on i wish you were mine

anonymous May 23, 2012 3:22pm

I keep things maintained as a public service when going to the pool or to the beach. Otherwise, it's like 1973 down there. My husband once referred to my au natural look as proud. You know this!

    anonymous May 24, 2012 12:40pm

    AH! 🙂 What's wrong with 1973??? 😉 😉

      anonymous Dec 9, 2012 8:03am

      LOVE THIS POST!!! I'm with you; a trim for the beach or pool (I'm Albanian so I people would mistake me for a gorilla if I didn't) but otherwise… natural, baby!!!

    anonymous Feb 8, 2013 10:06am

    I'm 50, married 24 years, and SO glad I missed all this shaving/waxing business. I'd trim a bit if necessary to prevent something from sticking out at the pool, but otherwise I'm perfectly content with the hair nature gave me and so is my husband. There are some really good articles by doctors on why it's a lot healthier to leave the hair alone. Unfortunately the explosion (perhaps not the best word?) of internet porn has changed people's perception of what is normal and I think there's a lot of pressure on younger women to conform.

anonymous May 23, 2012 2:46pm

as always, well said and pertinent, Tanya. Speaking as a guy, I find the variety to contribute to making each woman unique and special…along with their personalities, wrinkles, droops, and everything that makes them uniquely and magically them. Most of us guys LOVE IT when women are unique…in anatomy as well as personality. : )

    anonymous May 23, 2012 2:58pm

    Mark-Francis, my friend, thank you!! Variety is awesome – isn't it great to have options and at the same time explore uniqueness? You know what I'm saying. As much as we think we are the same, it's amazing and joyful to recognize what makes us different…..most of us aren't straight off the assembly line. 🙂

anonymous May 23, 2012 1:45pm

Im shocked this is an issue for women! I feel bad for you all, this is insane! An ex-girlfriend of mine was on the larger side of the 'labia minora' and I found it sexy as hell and a huge turn-on! Cosmetic surgery advertisement/propaganda should go jump in a lake! To all women out there: you're beautiful as you are! 🙂

    anonymous May 23, 2012 2:03pm

    WORRRD!! Anthony, you're so awesome!! Thank you!!

    anonymous Jul 19, 2012 9:29am

    Thank you for appreciating us. Some times it so hard to make sure our guys to accept who we are.

    anonymous Aug 31, 2015 1:23pm

    we luv your attitude!

anonymous May 23, 2012 1:28pm

This is great, Tanya – a smart & funny treatment of what is a pretty creepy subject – really thoughtfully done! It immediately reminded me of the story about how 19th century Pre-Raphaelite art critic John Ruskin recoiled in horror after seeing his wife Effie naked for the 1st time. Speculation was that he actually thought that women's bodies were as hairless in real life as they were represented in pretty much all of western painting. The marriage was never consummated. She had it annulled and went on to marry one of the painters Ruskin wrote about, John Everett Millais. Millais apparently had no problem with her pubic hair or with popular imagery of women, as she went on to give birth to 8 children.

    anonymous May 23, 2012 2:08pm

    Thank you, Susanna dear! Woww–good for Effie!! Amazing to me that this way of thinking started way back then. To be honest, I never got the whole pubic hair removal thing…was it the 90's that really kicked started the waxing and shaving? Perhaps the smaller shapes of bikinis? I'm sure I could research all the way back to Mr. Ruskin himself. 🙂 xo

      anonymous May 23, 2012 2:40pm

      I think it's really interesting, as Ruskin was an art critic & his aesthetic for women was informed by the primary visual media of the time – painting, drawing, & printmaking, just as contemporary girls & women starve themselves & surgically alter themselves because of today's media – tv, magazines, film, & photography.

      I think that hair removal today is sometimes
      a. practical – less sweat
      b. sometimes fetishy – little girl-like (ew)
      c. more streamlined & less animal-y (culture vs nature)
      d.sometimes visual – you can see things better 🙂
      Lots of men do it too – gay & straight. It is funny though. How did it all begin? There is probably some book out there about it. Or several!

      anonymous May 24, 2012 8:14am

      I think it was Sex in the City that sparked the whole trend.

anonymous May 23, 2012 1:24pm

Chalk this one up to a “man”ufactured issue of making women feel ashamed of their natural body. I say “man” because the people most likely promoting this procedure is male cosmetic surgeons and publishers of womens beauty magazines!

Listen ladies, if you are at the point where you think a man who is “going down” on you and will all of a sudden be freaked out by your “ugly” vagina you are mistaken and need help. ABSOLUTELY NO GUY IN THE WORLD would stop at that point and say “NO!”

    anonymous May 23, 2012 2:11pm

    Hell yeah, West!!!!!! Thank you!!!!!!!!! Speaking of this — one of the guys I was talking to today mentioned there's no way he'd turn a lady friend down when visiting her 'downtown' simply because her labia parts were 'big' — especially if she was turned on!!!!!!!!

      anonymous Mar 14, 2013 7:19pm

      I concur, by the time everyone is comfortable…it's on and no one is taking inventory. Sure there may be some personal preferences. Like what happened to pubic hair?

    anonymous Dec 5, 2012 9:15pm

    I don't know. If it's 3 inches long it might look like a hot dog and I don't do that.

    anonymous Jun 19, 2013 8:08am

    True true true! And keep those lovely whiskers please!

    anonymous Sep 1, 2015 6:37pm

    I do't think this was a guy manufactured issue; insecure women did this one.

Lauren Hanna May 23, 2012 1:10pm

Haha this article is tremendous. My favorite part: "We could also save ourselves a lot of pain and/or money by bringing pubic hair back."

    anonymous May 23, 2012 1:27pm

    LOL – glad you enjoyed it Lauren! 🙂 xoxo