June 3, 2012

A Call to the Divine Feminine: 10 Bold Invitations from the Sacred Masculine. ~ Barry Selby

Photo: Michael Julian Berz

If I’m going to act like a god, I require a woman who acts like a goddess.

I was inspired and challenged by the provocative elephant journal article A Call to the Sacred Masculine: Ten Daring Invitations from the Divine Feminine that recently made the viral rounds on Facebook.

As a relationship coach who has been branded “The Passion Consultant” and who has been investigating romance dynamics for years, I was intrigued by the article which also sparked my sense of fair play. If women are calling men to meet our divine potential, then we men, in turn, need to be calling you women to meet yours.

In the spirit then of a two-way dialogue, here is my offering to women, 10 bold invitations that might just spark the feminine heart into action­—or fury. Bring it!

1. Don’t be afraid. Live your heart’s yearning and be authentic and free in your feminine. We men are ready for you to show up as you really are, to give up your shy girlishness and stand boldly and gorgeously in your full goddess expression. Shake the ground with your stride—without apology.

2. Give us back our business suits. For too long and for too many women, being in the business world has meant acting and competing like men. It grew out of the Women’s Rights era back in the sixties, when women declared their place in the world, burned their bras and took on roles previously held by men. Unfortunately, the pendulum swung far—these liberated women chose to not only burn their bras, they also took off their make-up, cut their hair short, minimized jewelry and put on business suits to be accepted in the business world. Women gave up their meek housewife personas and roared. However, the goddess—your essential feminine heart—was nowhere to be seen. It’s way past time for the goddess to show her face and her divine juiciness in the business world. It may well be the only thing that will save it.

3. Wear your goddess-hood proudly. You are a goddess. What does that look like to a man? The goddess is authentic, powerful, highly desirable and to be feared if doubted, crossed or ignored. She yearns from her core for the divine masculine to meet her on equal ground, and will behead us if we fall short. Like the Masculine Sword of Truth, your heart of compassion and grace is a powerful truth that cuts through the illusion and pretense around you.

From this place, how you dress, how you present, how you carry yourself becomes natural and flowing. Without our business suits, you have so many choices of how to show your heart, your gifts and your juiciness to us, to the world, to each other. You have incredible power—sexually, spiritually, physically and emotionally. You can shine all of that outwardly, authentically and naturally. Do it for yourself. Do it for your sisters. Do it for all of us.

4. We don’t speak goddess. Most men have not been educated in the language of women. As John Gray defined in Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus, we are virtually different species. It takes a relationship anthropologist to translate and attempt to understand the opposite sex. Meet us halfway in communication. Recognize that when you say, I’m fine, we don’t know which meaning you intend of the 300 plus versions you have on file. Goddesses communicate with each other almost telepathically, in nuance, in monosyllables or even with an imperceptible facial expression shift that can communicate enough information to fill a month’s worth of diary. And we men may not even catch that you said anything at all. I’m not kidding. Remember we are literal creatures.

5. Be our cheerleader and inspirer. Sometimes fighting the good fight and passionately following our mission and purpose can feel overwhelming, even for us warriors. Your touch, your encouragement, your belief in us inspires us one more time to be all that we can be. Your touch fills our hearts in a way that inspires us to love what we do and continue on.

6. We are not your Daddy. You probably have daddy issues. We are not your daddy. Get that clear. Forgive your father for whatever he did, or didn’t do. Projecting all your history with him onto us diminishes our ability to be with you in an openhearted way.

7. Let us feel you. If you truly want your sacred masculine to live his truth, don’t hold back your emotions and feelings. We know your storm will not destroy us. It may scare us. If we run, it is your best sign the man in front of you is not in his sacred masculine. Holding back your truth to be nice or to adjust your emotionality based on our less evident expression, keeps you apart from us. Be fully expressive. It brings you closer to us.

8. Be the ravishee. We men are simple beings, linear in thought and action. It is both our strength and our power. When we take you to love and ravish fully, let us! Be present. Be fully immersed and receptive to our passion. Don’t be thinking about what color to paint the ceiling, or getting your nails done. Be a willing participant. We do this for you.

9. Remind us not to fix you. We men are incredibly talented at solving problems. When you share your emotions, your upset with us, our natural and instinctive response is to figure out a solution, which is 99 percent of the time what you don’t want. Our instinct to fix overrides our recognition of your need to simply vent. Remind us, so we can let go of our tool-kit for a moment, and simply hold the space for you to be free. We both win.

10. Shine your light in public. You are magnificent, you are magical, you are the juiciness of life—and too often you only share it in your goddess circles, at out-of-town festivals and in the mirror. It’s past time for you to be authentic in every part of your life, particularly in public. The world absolutely yearns and is thirsty for the goddess to reveal her gifts and share her abundance. Our future cries out for the authentic and divine feminine. You are the healing agent this world needs and the healing agent we men need. Be generous with your light.

I entreat you women to let go of your smallness, of the judgments and rules you took on and to be free to be your divine authentic self.

It’s why you (and we) are here.




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Editor: Lori Lothian


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Barry Selby