July 19, 2012

Does Your Open Heart Make You a Doormat? ~ David Arenson


The following is based on a true story as told to me by a young friend from Bordeaux, France. I am the teacher referred to in the text. She is a lovely, kind and compassionate person who got a bit off the path by being too trusting, too open. It is a lesson in why establishing firm boundaries is important for protection. In the real story, she helped him to shower and he became aroused. Sadly, the story went further. I deliberately leave this to the reader’s imagination.

You’re on your way home—a journey you’ve taken thousands of time as part of your daily commute. A familiar trip, you feel like you could do it in your sleep.

Stuck in ennui, you feel yourself nodding off, but something revives you. In front of you is movement, recognition, a break from the routine. Sitting opposite you on train is a lonely man in a wheel chair.

He looks familiar; you think you’ve seen him before. Perhaps on a usual day in a crowded carriage, you would ignore each other as is protocol on public transport. But this day is different, and the train is empty.

Life has its own plans. The journey is calling you.

The man catches your eye and before you know it, you’re engaged in conversation. He seems tired, as if he has given up on life. He complains about needing help fixing the wheel of his wheelchair. You feel his hopelessness and you want to help.

The next stop he asks for your help, and before you know it, you’ve missed the next train. Now you’re stuck with him, and he asks you to help him get home where he has a screwdriver. You feel suspicious and a scent of anxiety, but you ignore that and remind yourself that he needs your help.

So, you, the chosen one, must step forward.

After some small talk, you reach his apartment and help him up into the lift. Inside, the energy shifts and he asks you to help him to get into the shower. You feel his desperation, and the acrid smell filling your nostrils convinces you to go against your growing discomfort. This is a decision you grow to rue.

Naked, his arousal is unmistakable. You feel stuck in your original decision. Turning back now seems impossible. The sounds of the shower on his exposed skin cannot mask the fact that you have taken a step beyond your comfort zone. The frothy soap mixes with muskiness to reveal raw masculinity. Thunder fills the room as darkness extinguishes the light.

Fate steps in. You cannot escape karma. The fallen cannot cheat the forces of darkness.

A new day.

From the hidden depths of darkness, a new light reveals itself. Every moment chooses itself to give us the opportunity to understand love. There will always be another chance to arise to greet the sun. Daydreamers, we must give birth to a new way.

You can hear the teacher’s voice whispering to you…

“These words will help you to learn, to heal and to cleanse your soul. You are a warrior of light, and there will be hurdles, crevices, pitfalls for you to overcome in your journey to the light. Do not lose faith. Your light will overcome all.”

A wise teacher knows that every student must face his shadow in order to journey to the light. A teacher’s way is not to stop his student from failing. It is to master the way, and shine light on the fallen.

“You must be careful to save and protect your light and not give it out like candy. It is sacred and special, and someone who makes you lose your way is someone who is taking advantage of you because you have such a pure heart of kindness.”

“Sometimes, intention is not enough. There are those who seek to drain you of light. Only give out your special energy to those you know have been sent to help you on your journey. You are still so young and innocent that you don’t appreciate your special light, as it’s all you know. You don’t know that it’s something to be cherished above all else. If you valued yourself like a shining diamond, you would know that your light is sacred.”

“Know that is not your darkness that needs to be suppressed, it is your light that needs to be expressed. Devaluing light diminishes its brightness. In valuing your special light, we are all valued. In shining, we all shine.”

“Be open to experience but not open to everyone else’s experience. Value yourself with the knowing that you are a vessel for divine light. Do not act out of pity for other people. It devalues them too.”

“Create your own dream, not the dream of others who want to vampire your dream from you.”

When we value ourselves, others value us too, due to the principle that the world mirrors ourselves back to us. We can never hide from this universal law.

Everything that happens is not perfect—but it is perfect for you. You will always be learning more, and there is always more to learn. Follow your feelings—if something doesn’t feel right, then it probably isn’t.



Editor: Cassandra Smith

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