Right now, I’m brainwashing you.

I’m so brainwashed that I think about Snooki. I’m so brainwashed I think happiness can be found in a study. I’m so brainwashed I start to believe the news wholeheartedly. I scrubbed my head to clean it from all this brainwashing.

I practiced some ancient mind-cleansing activities to free myself from all this brainwashing. I sat in one place and didn’t talk to anyone for ten days. Then I realized that the enlightened mind, whatever that means for you, isn’t free from brainwashing. Rather, the enlightened mind is just running a better program.

You are being bombarded with brainwashing rays everyday by the government, your mom, Coca-Cola, your classmate, your girlfriend and that book you take too seriously. Every company wants to brainwash you into feeling that you need their product.

The mission of any marketing campaign is to make you feel bad. “Feel bad you don’t have this, feel bad you smoke, feel bad you aren’t voting for me, Feel bad you aren’t having sex with this vagina,” says the media. Every company wants to brainwash you into feeling that you need their product. Every person tries to brainwash you into giving them attention. Even right now I’m trying to brainwash you into thinking that I know brainwashing better than you.

You need to run a better brainwashing campaign. Control what neural connections are being blasted into your mind.

Choose your own brainwash!

You need to run the biggest campaign of them all when the whole world is actively brainwashing you. Control what neural connections are being blasted into your mind. Its time to run your own MK Ultra on your mind.

1. Kill the news. The only stuff worth reading is on sites that look like they aren’t worth reading or from people with a vested interest in the truth. Investment sites, not fear mongers trying to sell you newsletters, who have skin in the game are good. What news is actually useful for you today? Chances are the only useful stuff has to do with your industry. So look at those specific places. If you want an overviewl of holy sh*t events happening in the world, I love reddit.

2. Read the opposite. I brainwash myself with books all the time. They are so convincing. Sometimes I can’t see the other side so I have to find someone else to do it.

3. Have a couple minutes of complete awareness. See how beautiful it is to brainwash yourself into being un-brainwashed. Run the perfectly clean program for just a few seconds. Take a deep breath and hold it. Pay attention to the sensations of taking a shower. Focus on the texture of a food.

4. Write a stream of consciousness. There is no better way to prove your thinking mind’s insanity to yourself. To show you what you actually think write 500 words. It takes fifteen minutes and you will see exactly how your mind is programmed. Never stop moving your fingers. If you can’t think anything then write I have nothing to write and prove yourself wrong.

5. See the responsibilities you assume. What is pulling at you while you read this? What obligations do you feel when you are around that person or when you are by yourself?

6. Where are you supposed to be right now physically, mentally, emotionally? Why?

7. Read Emerson’s Self-Reliance. Oh god, what an essay. Here is my highlighted version you can read in five minutes.

8. Everything else. Everything is a brainwashing. Be the brainwash you wish to be!

Everybody is brainwashing you. It’s because that is what their brainwashing entails. I am concerned about my brainwashing because ideals are slippery. Brainwashing occurs immediately and over time. Some I feel immediately right in my face. Others, the more sinister kind, are slow and creep through my soul and I can’t even see them until I’ve written a thousand consciousness streams or stopped all thoughts for an hour.

Sometimes the New World Order Illuminati triangle is blasting rays into my brain. Sometimes it is my family. Sometimes it is my laziness. Sometimes it is caffeine. Sometimes it is pizza and sometimes it is nutritious green powder. Sometimes it is my nonsensical thought spiral and sometimes it is a thoughtless clarity.

Once we see what program we boot up we can feel if it is worth running. If not then f*ck that couch. Lets get Neo.

Kyle Eschenroeder recently lost his mind. Last time he found it in Chipotle where sometimes it hangs around www.kyleschen.com

 

 Editor: Chloe Valentine

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