July 2, 2012

Response To “A Call To The Sacred Masculine.” ~ Jay Vincent

Courtesy of Flickr/ h.koppdelaney

This article originally appeared on the author’s blog. It’s used by personal permission. ~ ed.


So this article is making the rounds and I hesitated to voice this, but you people seem to like it when I let this sh*t out, so here goes.

All excerpts from A Call To The Sacred Masculine: Ten Daring Invitations from the Divine Feminine appear in italics, below.

“If I am going act like a goddess, I want a man who acts like a god.

Yet all this talk lately of the goddess and the Divine Feminine seems like new-age wishful thinking, a fantasy archetype with as much to do with real life as Superwoman or the Fairy God Mother.

While goddess propagandists promote the unilateral concept of a spiritually elevated womanhood—strong but supple, decisive and nurturing, wild yet wise—glaringly absent is a call to the Sacred Masculine counterpoint. Women can forever rally around each other, cheerleading new heights of intuitive and open-hearted power, but without the cooperation of menfolk stealing their own fire from the gods, we are preaching to the sistah choir.

Bottomline? Organizing a spiritual revolution as women without inviting men to the front lines with us means we are orchestrating a collective reframe with only half the available power. Real change means humanity—yes both genders—opts for the cosmic upgrade to Divine Class together.

So, on behalf of the X chromosome, here is my invitation to mortal men who wish to dance as gods with wanna-be goddesses.

1. Show us your heroic heart. We know you want to save what is worth saving and to rescue this planet from peril. Wage a hero’s battle against poverty, needless strife, environmental ruin or whatever stirs your courageous heart. It might be a plan to increase your neighborhood safety, to improve your child’s education, to plant a vegetable garden in your backyard or to stop prejudice wherever you see it. The world needs your brave heart to take bold action.”

I applaud this call to be more and yet, this is incomplete in my mind.

I see a troublesome proclamation that there is a battle to be fought against poverty or strife in the world, to correct some external problem and, I see that men really only need to love themselves.

And by love, I mean allowance. Allowance says, yes, there may be things that are perceived as problems but first I must love myself. When I love myself, my world will benefit in a positive way. Fighting or “fixing” some externally perceived problem is the same thing that’s distracting us from loving ourselves.

We have to go to work to provide food for our family and the list of things to do never ends. Why not just be?

2. Unsheathe your sword. As a man, you wield a sword of truth that can cut through cultural distractions to what really matters. The faster car, the better sports team, the bigger salary are all fine and dandy but on your deathbed, what unfulfilled vision will you regret the most? What risk did you back away from? What chance did you refuse to take? Before you die, be bold enough to discover and live your truth.”

I think I just did this by cutting through the distractions presented herein. This article has hints of positive and yet, I still feel encouraged to focus externally on things that purportedly need to be fixed.

When I love me, you’ll feel the effects of that—the chance I refused to take, for so many years, was to look in the mirror and say I love you and you’re perfect.

3. Dare to dream. Before you played the role of mortal, you (well, we) created the heavens and earth. What do you wish to create here and now? What beautiful order do you wish to bring forth from the chaos of this world. What implausible dream do you want to manifest for the greater good of all? It doesn’t have to be grand, like solving world hunger. It can be simple, like solving your child’s homework problem because you are dedicated to being a great father. All we care about is that something brings you alive with passion.”

I’ve gotta be honest—this repeating education piece is annoying the hell out of me.

It may be her only way of giving example but if the author really wants men to “fight” some battle…well, I’ve already done this. I said no to the public fool system, I said no to conformity training. Easy—battle won.

Do my children receive education? Yes. Is it standardized? No. Is that her business or the “public’s business”? Hell no.

“4. Steer the ship. Aim your life for a noble horizon. It’s not like there’s a second in command who will captain your destiny while you snooze on the sofa after too many beers and potato chips with the TV droning in the background. Get to the helm of your life and navigate by your own pole star, the true north of your heart’s burning desire. Tip: if you don’t know what port you’re headed for, no wind is favorable.”

I totally disagree with this paragraph. First, there’s the guilting and shaming that I heard from religion all my life:,“You shouldn’t drink, you shouldn’t do this, blah, blah, nag, nag.” F*ck that.

What I want—and what works—is a woman who empowers me, to be me. When that happens, I lay down and coo at her slightest whisper.

Nagging? Hell yeah, that works…bwaaahahaha….(rolling eyes). And this “ship?” Well, that’s something we are both on. So, if I’m in charge, you (the goddess) are not.

How about some balance? How about co-creatorship? Telling me I need to know what port I’m heading to shows that you are dependent upon me to get us somewhereWe are on this ship—so if we can’t steer it together, it’s the f*ckin’ Titanic…

“5. Bring your soul to work. Work for more than the mortgage and car payments—work because you find some measure of joy in your job. And if the job is just to make ends meet for now, then meet that employment with gratitude and a call to service. Know that it’s not what you do, but what you bring to what you do, that matters.”

This paragraph grates me, because most of the world—not just men—are in jobs that they can’t stand, for reasons that they don’t understand—and they are paying mortgages and making car payments, while wondering what the f*ck the reason is.

Their sex lives are miserable, they feel fragile on the inside but must project this masculine powerhouse image on the outside. New glasses!!!

I will be so bold as to say that a job is worthless when determining someone’s value. Subsequently, what they bring to the job is also worthless, because it’s based on what society says is important. All the while, the real importance—a man’s self-value—and communication with their mate is down the toilet, while someone has the gall to write “Bring your soul to work.”

Am I pissed? Yes. This is a f*cking distraction...just love you!!!! Then communicate. It’s grueling and it’s easier to try to please others by looking successful but that is where the real value is. You.

“6. Care deeply. As a man, you might have been taught to feel lightly and think hard, to hold your emotions back, as if you can build a dam against what naturally must flow. But your caring is what this world cries for. The tender-hearted masculine is both wise and merciful. When you weep, you give women permission to be strong. When your heart breaks we want to know it so that we can heal it together.”

I actually like this paragraph. When men are unafraid of emotion, they tap into the feminine part of their divinity and this is where balance comes in externally as well. She confirms it. When men are allowed to share emotions, it endears the feminine to them and yields trust and empowerment of the mate.

7. Love fearlessly. Show us the way by standing firm when we are in a beautiful rage. Don’t run from our fury—after all it might contain magical wisdom. In the gale force of feminine anger, your calm is a powerful reminder that we are met and accepted by our beloved partner.

I like this paragraph as well. How many times do mates do this for each other!?!?

8. Ravish your woman. Every now and then, take her wholeheartedly, without apology. Press her against a wall and bind her with your kisses. Possess your goddess, oh great god that you are and then let her possess you. Polarity is a potent nectar and the current runs both ways.”

Lots more could be said here but I’d add: to make sure that the feminine desires are met first—and often (sexually)—and the man will surely get his fill from this overflowing! Surrender is hinted here and I fully support that—for men to fully purchase the sexual bliss, there must be surrender.

“9. Slay your demons. We all have them, the dark part of our hearts, the crevices where our fear and loathing hideout. Notice what keeps you awake at night and stalk it. Hunt your darkness and drag it into the light for loving and healing.”

No, No, No.

A million times, no. 

Embrace your demons with the help of your woman. If she wants you to be unafraid of them, then she should have the courage to step up to the plate with you, embrace these f*ckers and ask them some simple questions that would establish their so-called authority—or lack thereof.

There is no need to slay anything.

This is based on the wrong and right paradigm, which is just laughable. Most of the so-called demons are merely guilt and shame that have been hidden and haunt us—or desires that have been repressed through societal control and construct. Let’s play with these bastards until they are tired of hanging around. They’ll leave on their own and they’ll be running.

Trust me.

10. Leave your mark. Don’t settle for a fleeting cameo in which your appearance in this kingdom is so quickly forgotten. What do you want your children to say about you? Your great-grandchildren? The greatest legacy is not the wealth you leave behind, but your heartfelt message that echoes forward to future generations.

Ultimately, this dance of the divine in both genders is not about lighting incense, chanting at kirtan, wearing white or even gathering in gender-specific goddess groups or men’s Iron John style movements designed to reclaim a lost chest-thumping masculine. Rather, it’s about being real 360-degree humans, embracing both the sacred and the mundane within ourselves and each other.”

I say run like hell from the mundane, because only then will the excitement we seek come into play. Act out, scream, run, play, laugh, dance, flirt (with everyone you meet)—or do whatever else fires you up to love yourself and live.

My opinion on the greatest legacy we can leave…is that I care not to leave a legacy; I only care to live—and to live—I must love myself and express my desire.

If I can share this with my mate, I most definitely will be happier, because I am a social being. The way that works for me to do that is to be allowed to surrender to her—and to also have her surrender to me. Mutual surrender and mutual worship accomplishes so much; mutually thanking one another is important.

If we’ve said it once, Kalo and I have said thousands of times: “Thank you for allowing me to be me and for all you’ve done to contribute to my life.”

If I love me, my mark will be indelible.

“When men are willing to meet women heart-first and to live from that divine place of kingly wisdom, warrior courage and boy-like vulnerability, we women are given the gift of receiving all of you. And we are given permission to reveal all of who we are—the nurturing goddess, the juicy seductress and yes, even the nasty b*tch.”

I do like that mutual surrender piece she threw in here…

“In the end, the call to a Divine Feminine and Sacred Masculine is perhaps just the simple yearning to get out of our crazy-busy heads and into our still-knowing hearts. As Rumi says, I looked in Temples, Churches and Mosques. I found the Divine in my heart.”


“Whatever the divine really is, let’s find it together.”

Again, yes!!! So, that’s my response, as the God that I am…

Jay Vincent is a father, husband, lover, poet, author, autodidact, mental enema coach, oral massage therapist and communication coach. He and his wife are finished up their book Gourmet: Making monogamy magic, ending ownership and control struggle in relationships through full honesty and love. Jay and his wife also offer private coaching for relationships that have want to escape the mundane and end the secrecy that kills most relationships slowly. They do this by reframing societal (fear based) constructs into workable scenarios (wtihout fear and with total trust). He blogs at http://luckfawyers.wordpress.com as well as http://flushtherelationshit.wordpress.com and can be reached via his blogs.


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Editor: Bryonie Wise

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