Why Your Thinking is Not What Creates the Moments of Your Life.

Via Sara Avery
on Jul 14, 2012
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We are feeling creatures that think vs. thinking creatures that feel.
~ Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor

Dr. Taylor’s statement is so important to our understanding of how life works, especially in a time when so many self-help gurus claim that your thinking creates your life.

“You create by thinking” is one of the misconceptions that I constantly remind my clients isn’t true.

Here’s why I know that. First of all, your thinking brain doesn’t even begin to operate until you are two and a half years old. Before that, your brain is a sensory sponge, absorbing how everyone around you feels. Your brain’s job in this absorbing period is to put into place your sense of self, how you feel about being human. Your brain does this by using the feeling it absorbs to expand the kernel of energy that you began in the womb with, which I refer to as your natural well-being.

Your natural well-being is all about feeling good.

And your brain’s sensory sponge time from conception until age two and a half was meant to just expand that—to make more of you feeling good about being you, just as you are.

However, because the people around you feel bad sometimes, you absorb the sense that there’s something wrong being human. And, it becomes personal: “There’s something wrong with me being human.” I call this feeling Learned Distress. Because sponges have no choice in what they absorb and because your thinking brain hadn’t yet begun to operate, you were unable to process and throw out any of this negative feeling, so it became embedded in your sense of self.

When you reach the age of two and a half, your sense of self becomes the generating force in your life.

Per Newton’s Third Law, “for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction,” your sense of self uses the feeling it absorbed (the action) to create each moment of your life. This outward flow of energy that you live your life with is the opposite part of “equal and opposite reaction.” Your life’s moments are generated in a way that feels the same (equal) to what you absorbed.

So, the automatic work of energy means that your brain just keeps generating moments that feel the same as you did when your brain was a sensory sponge, before you were two and a half years old. And therefore, your life becomes a mixture of what feels good (your natural well-being) and what feels bad or difficult to make good (your Learned Distress).

But what about the times you’ve worried about something and then it happened in just the way you were afraid it would? Well, your sense of self generates your thoughts, just as it generates the events of your life. So, it may seem like your thoughts and your events match up so well that your thinking must be creating these moments. However, that’s just because they have a common source, your sense of self.

If the Law of Attraction or positive thinking have worked well for you, maybe you think I’m wrong.

Changing your thinking can work for some people, but it’s a mechanism for either controlling or leaping over Learned Distress to get something done. My clients who have seen some success with it usually come to me when it stops working for them. They’ve said things like, “I used to be able to manifest anything, but I just can’t, anymore,” or, “Everything that has worked for me in the past just stopped working, no matter how hard I try.” Learned Distress actually rises in intensity over time, so at some point, it gets to be too big to control or leap over, and the “change your thinking” method stops working.

What does work—in my experience and that of my clients—is removing layers of Learned Distress, which triggers natural well-being to expand and take its rightful place.

Well-being becomes the generating force behind more and more moments. And just like the negative moments used to happen without making any special effort, the good moments begin to happen effortlessly. Clients start to say things like, “Wow, I can’t believe how easily that happened. I’ve been trying for years to accomplish it, but I hardly even noticed, because I didn’t have to put any effort into it.” This doesn’t mean that people become couch potatoes and everything they’ve always wanted magically appears.

But when energy and momentum come from well-being instead of Learned Distress, the experience of accomplishing goals is very different and takes less conscious effort.

Have you ever been frustrated that changing your thinking hasn’t worked or has become more difficult? I hope you’ll share your experiences in the comments below.

~ Editor: Lynn Hasselberger

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About Sara Avery

Sara Avery’s passion is helping people uncover the energy that creates their story and the uniqueness of who they really are. In 2001, she transitioned from her first career as an orchestral violinist to guiding people through the deep transformation of Quanta Change. Quanta Change identifies Learned Distress (the feeling that “there is something wrong with me” absorbed in the womb and early in life) as the source of non-well-being. This unique process works with your brain during sleep to permanently remove layers of Learned Distress, allowing your natural well-being to become the source from which your life is generated. Sara’s clients discover a new ease and joy in life that they’ve never experienced—in emotional, spiritual, and physical realms. One client said, “I’ve been seeking for 40 years, and this is by far the best thing I’ve ever done for myself.” Learn more on her website or read more from Sara on her blog. Or, connect with her on Facebook or Twitter.


6 Responses to “Why Your Thinking is Not What Creates the Moments of Your Life.”

  1. Well done, Sara.

    Posting to elephant health & wellness.

    Bob W. Associate Publisher
    facebook, twitter, linkedIn

  2. Sara_Avery says:

    Many thanks, Bob!

  3. Mary Kay Irving says:

    Nice Sara. There is a lot of crossover between your work and the work I am doing with the Diamond Approach/Ridhwan school. Currently looking at the confused and conflicted energy from my early fields and how it continues to Play out in many current relationships (similar to Freud’s repetition compulsion in my mind). Would love to chat over coffee sometime!

  4. Sara_Avery says:

    Thanks, Mary Kay! I do find that there are similarities in theory with a number of schools of thought about the origin of our "stuff." The place that Quanta Change seems to diverge from all of them is how it goes about addressing it. Namely, working with the brain during sleep. I'd love to get together with you for coffee – let's do it! I'll message you. 🙂

  5. […] negative intensity is what I call Learned Distress. It’s the feeling stored within you that “there’s something wrong with me being […]

  6. Cari says:

    The thing is people have some of their beliefs about the law of attraction twisted. They think when they attract negative things, it's their law of attraction bringing them punishment. But what it's really doing is bringing us correction. Trying to get our attention that we are our of harmony with love. When we start to look at the negative things, relationships, events, etc. In our adult lives, the root cause of them is probably some childhood damage, trauma, etc. The way to address this is to get past the anger and fear that wr carry about feeling the pain or memories of these events and actually allow ourselves to feel them, so we can release them from ourselves and forgive the people as well, which also release us. Then our law of attraction will begin to change as we begin to heal our emotions and release any unloving things, beliefs, etc. Also along witb this though we also need to be willing to acknowledge the the damage we have cussed others in lir adult lives by acting out in our hurts selves. As adults we act out and behave as our inner child selves and do soul damage to ourselves and others. That is the second part of this healing process and changing. The law of attraction…healing is relasing yourself through forgiveness and being able to forgive and it can most certainly be an extensive yet extremely rewarding process.